One day at the store, I saw someone cutting in line and a guy yell, "Hey you're cutting in line!"

The person then laughed and said, "I have this OP meta character in my mobile phone and got her all maxed out!"

The offended person then slumped in defeat and walks out of the store (It wasn't until later that evening that I learned he killed himself).

Few minutes later the mobile player then moves up ahead and cuts in front of another person before being punched, sending him flying across the room into a shelf, knocking over some of the ones behind it like a stack of dominos. The dude then struggles to get up before falling back down and looks up to see a construction worker standing menacingly in front of him.

"B-but why? I have this OP meta-"

The construction worker then cuts him off with a laugh and said, "I have this OP meta character too and not only she's max limit broken, I teamed her up with this SSR character and another!"

Then suddenly everyone in the store shouts, "WTF? HOW MUCH DID YOU WHALED!"

"Not a cent! I got some free pulls, used those now outdated codes and signed up at a special time which is ongoing right now."

After helping the guy he beaten back up to his feet, he then continues, "Listen if you use those codes now you can get more for free."

"Really?" the guy beamed.

The worker nods.

"Thank you!" said the now humbled player as he begins to sob and then everyone clapped.

Also I later got thrown out of the store after they found out that I'm the P2W scumbag who have been ruining things for everyone in the PVP the past few weeks.

I worked at the retail over the summer and things were fine at first, but then one day it happened. It began a week ago when a middle aged woman came to a checkout counter where she placed a live chicken right in front of me and said, "What are you waiting for? Ring me up, I don't got all day!"

Now I have no clue where she found that chicken since the nearest place that sells them is a few miles away and I can never be sure if she may have snuck it in for a weird prank of a sort but all I know is that the whole thing is kind of off. Knowing that the woman was holding up the line of confused customers with some coming over to look at the commotion which may have something to do with the live chicken, I had to do something to get the line moving again. However before I could say anything the woman became redder than a Communist flag and yell, "What are you waiting for? I have somewhere to go and get moving already you *bundle of sticks*!"

I'm straight but okay.

I began to clench my fists and had an urge to assault her but knowing this could cost me my summer job, I held back while still having no idea what to do about this situation when an Asian man came and said, "Woman you're causing trouble here, you need to take your chicken and leave."

The Karen turns to him and said, "Fuck you!"

"I won't leave until I speak to the manager here, this place should be shut down!" she continued.

The man then said, "I am the manager."

The Karen in response screamed, "LIAR!" and slaps him.

Unbeknownst to her, not only she slapped the manager of the store, the guy is also a well renowned Kung Fu master who would often stay overnight at the store to fight off looters, even guns doesn't faze him due to his amazing agility and reflex.

Before the Karen could continue what she was doing, the manager starts emitting bright aura before letting out a kiai as he suddenly became buff, disintegrating his shirt in the process.

That's the moment I knew she was already dead.

The Karen was hit with a barrage of punches at rapid speed, then the manager followed with series of rapid kicks to her face before jabbing her forehead with a finger. Once that was done, the manager turns and walks away as the Karen still dazed said, "I-I...I'm not done...yet...I can...sue..."

"You're already dead!" the manager replies without turning back as the Karen then explodes into a gory mess.

Everyone begin to cheer when suddenly a card flew and lands into one of the meat chunk of what was left of Karen and some ominous chant was being heard. We turned to look and to our horror a pointy nosed and mustached demon was there.

"Pierre!" I yelled.

"What? He's still alive?" one of the customers bellowed.

Pierre laughed and said, "This is it for you people, once that Karen revives her power will increase 10,000 fold!" before disappearing along with few boxes of beer.

Knowing what will happen, we all ran and the chicken even flew out the door as well. Moments later the store explodes and a giant monstrous looking Karen emerges screaming "WHERE IS THE MANAGER?"

As we continue to run, from the distance I saw several cars of train flying up into the air and quickly assembles into a giant robot that would land on a nearby area to confront the Karen. At first the Karen let out a super sonic yell that seemingly pushed the mecha back with sparks flying, but then the mech responds by firing several barrage of projectiles at her, obliterating the crazy bitch in the process.

After that crazy experience, I resigned from the job few days later.

"Shit I'm late!" Daniel Funke uttered before running out of the door, forgetting to close and lock it. As he dash towards the subway station from a block or so away, running harder than Usain Bolt would but without the speed to get him there as the train have already began to pull away by the time he reach the stairs. As if that was bad enough, he also have to wait for the swarm pouring down the stairs, causing the guy to jump back and yell through his double mask, "Whatever happen to social distancing? Put on some mask you spreaders!" which attracted some few weird looks from people as he sounded muffled enough to reminds them of Kenny before the onlookers shrugs and went on their ways.

After it was over, Funke finally made his way to the platform where he then gets on the train and breathes a sigh of relief as the train is less packed than he though it would be. Thirty minutes later upon checking his watch for the thirteenth time, the train starts to slow down and stops right on the track between two stations. At this point Funke begins to clench his fist remembering the previous train he had just missed a while ago and wonder how different things could have been had he gotten there in time but had woken up late because he spend all night combating "trolls" on Twitter who were on his case after his screw up on posts he had made. Funke begins to mutter profanities under his breath as he waited for what seem like eternity before the train finally begins to move once again.

As soon as the train finally reaches his stop, Funke bolts out of the door and dash through the exit down the stairs of the station where he then runs towards the warehouse few blocks away, leaving him a panting mess. After catching his breath, Funke reach into his coat pocket and pulls out a badge as he proceeds towards the entrance of the warehouse, showing it to a person guarding the door. After being allowed in, Funke enters the building and takes his seat before asking the person next to him, "Am I late?"

The person looks at Funke for a second before moving away from him.

"My fellow brethren." a man on the stage implores.

"Our brother have been taken away for doing god's work of removing one of these disgusting creatures from this planet!"

"But fear not as we have a powerful ally among us."

Everyone became silent.

"Our ally is a renowned dog fighter who went undefeated in every battle fought, with him on our side nothing can stop us, not even Cerberus himself!" the man proclaimed.

Soon the audience stands up and cheers.

Admiring such spectacle, Funke thought to himself, "It's good to see there are people finally deciding to do something about those plagues." as he looks to the man on stage.

"Dr. Ceau Kerns, I was right about you from the day I read your guest column about pit bulls."

"No such person can live up to such expertise regarding these dangerous beasts as much as you, I will follow you to the edge of the cliff like I would do for President Biden."

Later that night a stray dog was rummaging through a tipped over trash can looking for some scraps of food when he notice some one coming his way. Alarmed, the dog quickly turns and growls at the mysterious stranger whose face was obscured due to the wind blowing a newspaper into his face. After grabbing the paper and tearing it in half, the figure beckons the dog towards him with a piece of jerky.

As the dog slowly heads towards the treat, the stranger grins before he feels the phone vibrate. Annoyed at the interruption, he toss the jerky at the dog to take out his phone and answers.

"What the hell do you want?"

After a minute, his eyes widens and said, "Really? Okay, I'll be on my way!" before heading off.

One summer afternoon, a group of neighborhood kids pour out into the street upon a sound of a jingle coming from an ice cream truck. As kids were heading towards their favorite treat, a dog came jogging happily alongside with them as he dances around to the tune of the music being played while wagging his tail. As the dog waits in line to the ice cream truck with the owner coming on her way to accompany her pet, suddenly a gun shot is heard and the dog suddenly yelped!

As the line scatters into terrified children running all over the neighborhood to safety, to the horror of the dog's owner, the dog collapses with blood pouring out of his side.

"You should be happy that I shot that animal, people could have been hurt by that monster!"

The owner turns her head and see a somewhat gruff looking man holding a pistol.

"W-what..." the owner stammers before being cut off.

"That creature ran out without a leash, menacingly wagging its tail and in any minute it would have pounce on all those kids!" the man said.

"That's my dog..." the owner finally said.

Dumbfounded, the man said, "Come again?"

"That was my dog you killed...he wasn't going to harm anyone." the owner answered.

At that point the man started to look as if he had been forced to listen to some early unreleased Backstreet Boys tracks all at once. Afterwards, he began to lift his pistol at the woman and said, "You do realize what you were raising is a pit bull right?"

"Not only that, the monster you were raising wasn't even leashed and breeds like that are vicious beasts that should be exterminated!"

Terrified at the sight of a stranger pointing his gun at her, the owner was unable to say anything in response as faint sound of sirens are heard from the distance.

"Ah, someone called the police."

He then turns to the dog owner.

"You're going to get it now!"

As soon as several police vehicles arrives the dog killer than points his finger at the owner and said, "There she is officers, having such an unsafe beast out with a bunch of kids, get her!"

However several police officers points their guns at him and one of them then yell, "Drop your weapon and down on the ground!"

Flabbergasted, the dog killer then said "Wait a minute, why are you point your guns at me? She's the one who let that dangerous beast loose!"

"Drop your weapon now!"

"Okay, okay!"

The man then puts his gun down and lay down with his hands on his head as the police swarms around him. In time he was cuffed as was taken into the vehicle without any word despite looking like he has something to say but barely held back.

Little does the neighborhood knows, this is only the beginning.

"Hey guess what?" someone yelled.

A Giants fan turns around to see Pat Leonard hopping around like a retarded monkey on crack.

"Oh god...it's you again."

The beat reporter continues to hop around the Giants fan and said, "Odell Beckham Jr. is gonna be traded!"

"It's a guarentee because Mara said so!" he continued.

The fan said, "Really? I never heard Mara said anything like that."

"Really?" the reported asked excitedly before adding, "Pay attention and read between the lines, he's gonna be traded to the Rams!"

"And not only that, Matt Patricia will be signed by the Giants, believe it!"

Hearing this, the fan begins to clench his fist in anger knowing that the bullcrap have been proven false for a while now. After all, what kind of idiot would even believe that crap let alone continuing to report it as fact based on something that was twisted out of proportion?

Unfortunately, the onslaught of stupidity didn't end here.

"Hey, the 49ers will have a an awesome combo with Garp and OBJ!"

"He will be going to the Chargers, Vikings, Browns, Patriots, Cardinals, Je-"

BAM!

The fan looks up in anger after delivering a powerful uppercut to Leonard's jaw, sending him flying into the sky...

"Oh come on, the guy was blonde and white, this makes him a Nazi and that's why I turned him into one!" said Nick Spencer.

Having enough of the lecture of why he character assassinated Captain America, I summoned a half naked purple man and began to start wailing on him.

"ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!!!"

Then just before delivering another blow, I stopped time.

"Star Platinum: Za Warudo!"

Then I had the stand to pummel frozen Nick Spencer who was still in the air for another five seconds before time resumes and deliver the final blow that sends him into the sky. Then out of nowhere I could hear the narrator yelling...

Nick Spencer unable to recover, may never write again...

RETIRED!!!

Badly beaten, Gar Forman lies face down with a curb right in front of him as his partner in crime, John Paxson slowly bleeds to death from all the penetrations of the scarlet needles shot into his body over a dozen times. At that point I dragged Forman's head to the curb and said, "Bite down!"

Seeing that he didn't comply, I kicked him in the stomach and yell, "Fucking bite down!"

Once Forman does what he was told, I put my foot onto his head and said, "Say hello to your dentist for me."

One day in a remote island in the middle of the Pacific, a large group of people wearing jerseys of Lebron James panics and tries in vain to find a way to escape. However, even if there had been time...enough time for them to think of a way to leave the island, it could never happen as all the trees were removed to make it impossible for them to find a material to build a makeshift raft.

Within seconds, the entire surface of the island explodes, resulting in a mushroom cloud rising from where the Lebron James fans used to be.

That day, the U.S. is short of another MOAB.

After several clashes between their lightsabers in that fateful duel, Matt Furie said, "Your power is weak young frog, I have created you and I shall kill you...not because I've caved into the esjaydoubleyew's demands, I mean why would anyone think that?"

Pepe then sighed and said, "By saying that, it made you sound even more suspicious and that makes me feelsbadman."

"Then let me end your misery!" Furie yelled as he swung his lightsaber at Pepe, only for the frog to block it with his own.

“If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."

Hearing this, Furie became nervous but however knowing what the esjay stormtroopers will do if he doesn't finish off his former friend, he regained composure and was ready to strike when to his surprise, Pepe didn't fight back. Before he knew it, his lightsaber have already struck the frog.

But what happens next will make Pepe's action look like nothing. Amidst the celebration by the stormtroopers, Matt Furie went to kick around the pile of clothes where Pepe used to be, wondering what the hell just happened.

"Hello, this is Franchesca Ramsey and I'm here to tell you the awfulness of white people and how they should all die."

"Kill whitey!"

Then the promo clip for the latest season ends.

Before watching the latest webisodes of "Decoded", I went to the kitchen to get a can of coke before heading to the living room to fetch a large bag of popcorn I had prepared for the potential shitstorm when the new Barbie was to come out before Chuck Schumer's relative backed out for some reason (yeah I was bummed about that since I was looking forward to the circus over the internet). Once that was done, I click on the icon for the webisode from MTV and crack the can of cold bubbly to enjoy the party.

I'm looking forward to an upcoming spinoff of "Decoded" titled "Whitey Ford, the original Jontron? We have proof because of his name!"

Though admittingly I did a spit take when I saw the title because...isn't Whitey his nickname?