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I want the funky chicken.

Age 35, Male


some boring ass school

New York,NY

Joined on 8/29/02

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I worked at the retail over the summer and things were fine at first, but then one day it happened. It began a week ago when a middle aged woman came to a checkout counter where she placed a live chicken right in front of me and said, "What are you waiting for? Ring me up, I don't got all day!"

Now I have no clue where she found that chicken since the nearest place that sells them is a few miles away and I can never be sure if she may have snuck it in for a weird prank of a sort but all I know is that the whole thing is kind of off. Knowing that the woman was holding up the line of confused customers with some coming over to look at the commotion which may have something to do with the live chicken, I had to do something to get the line moving again. However before I could say anything the woman became redder than a Communist flag and yell, "What are you waiting for? I have somewhere to go and get moving already you *bundle of sticks*!"

I'm straight but okay.

I began to clench my fists and had an urge to assault her but knowing this could cost me my summer job, I held back while still having no idea what to do about this situation when an Asian man came and said, "Woman you're causing trouble here, you need to take your chicken and leave."

The Karen turns to him and said, "Fuck you!"

"I won't leave until I speak to the manager here, this place should be shut down!" she continued.

The man then said, "I am the manager."

The Karen in response screamed, "LIAR!" and slaps him.

Unbeknownst to her, not only she slapped the manager of the store, the guy is also a well renowned Kung Fu master who would often stay overnight at the store to fight off looters, even guns doesn't faze him due to his amazing agility and reflex.

Before the Karen could continue what she was doing, the manager starts emitting bright aura before letting out a kiai as he suddenly became buff, disintegrating his shirt in the process.

That's the moment I knew she was already dead.

The Karen was hit with a barrage of punches at rapid speed, then the manager followed with series of rapid kicks to her face before jabbing her forehead with a finger. Once that was done, the manager turns and walks away as the Karen still dazed said, "I-I...I'm not done...yet...I can...sue..."

"You're already dead!" the manager replies without turning back as the Karen then explodes into a gory mess.

Everyone begin to cheer when suddenly a card flew and lands into one of the meat chunk of what was left of Karen and some ominous chant was being heard. We turned to look and to our horror a pointy nosed and mustached demon was there.

"Pierre!" I yelled.

"What? He's still alive?" one of the customers bellowed.

Pierre laughed and said, "This is it for you people, once that Karen revives her power will increase 10,000 fold!" before disappearing along with few boxes of beer.

Knowing what will happen, we all ran and the chicken even flew out the door as well. Moments later the store explodes and a giant monstrous looking Karen emerges screaming "WHERE IS THE MANAGER?"

As we continue to run, from the distance I saw several cars of train flying up into the air and quickly assembles into a giant robot that would land on a nearby area to confront the Karen. At first the Karen let out a super sonic yell that seemingly pushed the mecha back with sparks flying, but then the mech responds by firing several barrage of projectiles at her, obliterating the crazy bitch in the process.

After that crazy experience, I resigned from the job few days later.


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