One day at Westboro, a disbarred jerkass lawyer turned even bigger jerkass preacher named Fred Phelps was bored so he asked his servants to fetch him someone entertaining.

"Servants! Fetch me someone who can entertain me!" he said

They did as told by hiring David Blaine. After series of stunning performances by the famed illusionist, Phelps who believes magics are a form of witchcraft then takes out a gun and shoots Blaine in the face.

One of the servants looked on and said, "That's cold..."

They then dragged Blaine's body away where it would be fed to dogs.

"Next, the winner of the 2003 American Idols...Claaaaaaaay Aiken!"

Clay Aiken shows up with a microphone and was ready to sing when a gunshot rang out. Aiken then noticed a sharp pain oh his forehand and so he went to touch it. That's when he realized that he's bleeding and saw Phelps pointing a gun at him. Few minutes later his body was fed to the dogs by the servants.

But then a stranger shows up wearing robes all over his body.

"You better entertain me, I don't got all day!" said Fred Phelps

The stranger took out a bag and pour black dusts onto the ground. Soon he proceeds to step onto the dust and disappears, leaving nothing but a pile of clothes.

"What the hell is that?" said one of the servants

Fred Phelps was frozen in fear and pissed himself in the process. Later that night, he was ready to go to bed when something happened...

"Do you wanna be entertained?"

Phelps turned and saw a skinny effeminate while man with a distorted nose.

"Who are you?" said Phelps

Soon the gay man begins to dance and said...

Do you remember
When we fell in love
We were young and innocent then
Do you remember how it all began
It just
Seemed like heaven
So why
Did it end

"No I do not you disgusting fag!" yelled Phelps

Do you remember
Back in the fall
We'd be together all day long
Do you remember
Us holding hands
In each other's eyes we'd stare
Tell me

"I don't even know you, get away from me or I'll scream!"

Do you remember the time
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time
When we first met Fred
Do you remember the time
(Oh I)
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time

"Security!"

The security guards shows but by the time they got there, the gay man disappeared!

Fred Phelps cowers like a worm he is and said, "Find that faggot...and kill him!"

As the guards race to find the weirdo, they notice someone right behind him...

"Who the hell is that?" said one of the guards

"Wait a minute...isn't he dead?" said the other

The weirdo then moonwalks and said...

Do you remember
How we used to talk
You know we'd stay on the phone at night till dawn
Do you remember
All the things we said
Like I
Love you so
I'll never
Let you go

Do you remember
Back in the spring
Every morning bird would sing
Do you remember
Those special times
That just go on and on
In the back of my mind

Do you remember the time
(Oh I)
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time
When we first met Fred
Do you remember the time
(Oh I)
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time

The guards started to dance when they came back to their senses and pump the weirdo full of lead. But when they did so, the weirdo got up and absorb the bullets before puking them out...

"What the hell?" said one of the guards

The weirdo then wags his finger at them and said, "That's not nice,"

Then he continues to dance...

Those sweet memories
Will always be
Dear to me
And boys
No matter what we said
I will never forget what we did
Now baby

Then he disappears into thin air...

Phelps was wondering what just happened when the stranger shows up ring in front of him, nearly giving him a heart attack.

"You again?!" screamed Phelps

Then the weirdo puts his finger on Phelp's mouth and said, "Do you remember the time?" before kissing him on the fore head

Soon Phelp's memory starts to flash before his eyes...

Do you remember the time
(Do you remember)
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time
When I first met you
Do you remember the time
(Oh I)
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time
(Deliver my baby)
Do you remember the time
(Cuz I remember)
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time
All in my mind yo
Do you remember the time
(Oh I)
When we fell in love
Do you remember the the time
(Deliver my baby)

"Y-yes..." moaned Phelps

The guard hears a noise occurring at the bedroom...

(Remember the times)
Whoo!
(Remember the times)
Do you remember man
(Remember the times)
On the phone
You and me
(Remember the times)
Till dawn
Two or three
What about you man
(Remember the times)
Do you
Do you
(Remember the times)
Do you
Do you
Do you
(Remember the times)
In the park
On the beach
(Remember the times)
You and me
In flame
What about
What about
(Remember the times)
(rolls tongue)

A loud moaning have been heard and the guards snickers knowing what went on.

"And he said he hates gays!"

"What a fucking hypocrite!"

(Remember the times)
Oh...in the park
(Remember the times)
After dark
Do you
Do you
Do you
(Remember the times)
Do you
Do you
Do you
Do you
(Remember the times)
Yeah
Yeah
Whoo!
(Remember the times..remember the times)

Once it's over, the stranger comes out of the room and teleports. Fred was later found in his bed acting strangely while the stranger was never caught...

"You disgusting pig, we won't let you go!"

I turned and saw a group of people in green outfits covered with dirt. I was at the park eating caesar salad when it happened.

"Who are you?" I asked

"We are known as the 'People for Ethical Treatment of Plants', we dedicated our lives in protecting plants from harmful acts of people like you!" one of them said

"You people actually exist? I made jokes about you guys numerous times but I never thought you guys are real!" I chuckled

"So you think you're pretty funny, let's see if you'll laugh once we're through with you!"

Before they can make their move, I pointed right directly to the ground and said, "You guys are standing on grass,"

Then they stopped and one of them then said, "Wait a minute...you're right!"

"You know what this means?" I said

The other then answered, "It means...oh my god..."

"It can't be...we're murderers!"

"We gotta get off!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Then they fled...

"That was random..." I said to myself before continuing to eat my salad

I was on my way meeting my sorta friends at the warehouse when I noticed a news being broadcasted on a electronic store.

Breaking news today! A group of activists known as PETOP were seen leaping from the roof of a apartment building to their deaths. Reason for this is unknown...

I was out walking one night when I saw a group of women having some sort of demonstration. Wondering what they could be doing, I walk right to them and said, "Hey, what are you doing at this time of night?"

But then they all turned to me and one of them said, "You male pig, stay away from us or we'll..."

Then she took out a cleaver...

"What's your problem?" I said

"Problem? You people have been the source of all violence! You people have been the source of all diseases! You people are the cause of every problems in the world!" she said

That's when I came upon a realization...but to be sure I decided to ask them...

"Are you guys from that radical feminist group called 'Century of Womyn'?"

"Yes we are and don't call us guys you disgusting pig, all you people think about is sex!"

Then one of the other feminazi came and said "What should we do with this man?"

"Kill him!" she answered

I felt a giant sweat drop on the side of my head...I mean are they serious? But then again I shouldn't be surprised as they're suspected of several counts of unprovoked attacks on men for the past decades. Something's definitely wrong with those people, I wonder where they got it from?

As they started to move in on me, I prepared to defend myself when one of them said, "So you're going to hit us? What a shame you pig!"

Then I said, "I'm going to defend myself, what's wrong with that?"

"Men should never hit women!"

"Even in self-defense?"

"Shut up!"

Then a butch looking woman came and said, "I know you're bluffing, you won't dare to hit us you pi-"

"So hows that?" I said

Soon the butch woman wiped the blood off her nose and learned that she's bleeding!

"Y-you...you hit me!" she screamed

"Yeah, so?"

"You men are worst than I though...you're even worst than Hitler!"

"Wait what?"

"Even Tojo's more le-"

I delivered a small jump kick right to her face, knocking her down to the ground in which she began to writhe in pain. Afterward I turned and saw a "For Sale!" picket on the lawn which I would then pluck it off the ground, flip the butch feminazi over, and shove the sign right down into her rectum. Then I looked up and saw several of her friends or colleagues (whatever) staring at me in disgust and horror. Happy at the reaction I just received, I proceed to crack my knuckles and twitch my neck on each side in order to loosen up.

"I'm just warming up!" I said

I have to admit, I was a bit uncomfortable on hitting women. When it comes to that, I'm a bit envious of tyke bombs because while they went through a huge deal since birth, at least they don't have much qualm on attacking someone, especially in self-defense (Besides, it's not like some would show up and disagree). So I did what Chris Tucker did in that movie, I pretended that they're men...very ugly and effeminate looking men. Unfortunately after picturing them as such, I nearly threw up...it's as disgusting as imagining Justin Bieber wearing a bikini.

"Forget that!" I said

Then someone grabbed me by the back of my coat and said, "I'll take care of this!"

I looked and it's a teenage girl wearing somewhat revealing outfit, kinda like something out of anime.

"Isn't it cold out there?" I asked

Then she said, "If you attack them, it'll help their cause, I'll take care of them myself as they have been causing trouble in my world!"

Alternate universe...this is getting weird although I've seen weirder.

Then soon there's a light flashing and I suddenly woke up in the hotel room...what a weird dream!

I really need to lay off anime for sometime...

Later that morning, I went to that high school disguising myself as a student again and do what I had been doing for sometime. After killing sometime in the cafeteria and even attended couple of classes while sitting in the back of the room so the teacher won't notice. I was on my way out when a balding man in his 50s showed up right in front of me and said, "You need to come with me young man!"

"Why? What did I do?" I said

"First of all, I have never seen you around before and not to mention you have also been missing for several days as well!"

"I was sick,"

"Then explain why you didn't appear until few weeks ago?"

"What made you believe that I just snuck in here? I mean there's no way you could have kept track of everyone in this school!"

"Our security have checked the camera and the staff went on to search for a student matching your description, not to mention the cameras have also shown you doing the same thing every time you're here,"

"Some students could have plastic surgery, no one stays the sa-"

"Cut the crap! Come with me and we'll get this cleared up if there's a mistake!"

After a while we're at the office when the principal then came and said, "There's no record of someone named Andrew Lau being admitted into this school, care to explain?"

"You need to check again, someone could have lost it som-"

"Enough of this, who are you kid?"

"I'm a student of this school,"

"No you're not, keep this up I'm going to call the security!"

"Suuure!"

Once he picked up the phone to call the security, I went over to the desk and picked up a stapler. After loading it up with some staples, principal then said, "What are you doing? Put that stapler down!"

"Why?" I said

"Just put that thing down, someone could get hurt!"

"Oh someone's gonna get hurt alright!"

Then few minutes later, the security came and to their horror, I point the stapler right at them.

"Calm down, put that stapler down..." one of the said

"We can talk this over, don't do something you might regret!" said the other

With that I took the principal hostage and point the stapler to his face.

"You better let us through or this guy gets it!" I said

The security guards then moves aside and I shoved the principal right at them before making my escape. I ran down the hall and head for the entrance where several security guards blocks the door only to be knocked down by my bull rush.

"You can't catch me assholes! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!"

I then head toward the street but it was clogged by several cars due to some accident that happened to my chagrin. Knowing the security guards are hot on my tail, I jumped right onto the car and proceeds to hop from one vehicle to another until I made it to the other side.

"Finally, now t-"

"You're not getting away, Omar, get him!"

I turned and saw one of the guards pushing the vehicles out of the way...wait what?

"What is he? The Hulk?" I said

I made a run for it and after a while I had to stop to catch a breath. Seeing that Omar also stopped as well, he stood there and said, "Just give it up, you can never outrun me!"

"Hell no!" I said

"Very well then, time to feel the pain!"

I went to try to punch him but then Omar picked me up by the head and threw me onto the hood of someone's car, shattering every windshield.

"Guess that's it!" he said

He was about to walk away when I got up and said, "I don't see no bell!"

He turns and said, "It's 'hear' not 'see', also I'm surprised that you can still stand, guess I'll have to take this one seriously!"

I ran toward Omar to deliver a flying kick to his neck. After hitting the mark, he begins to rub his neck and said, "You know, my neck have been a bit stiff...thank you for the massage!"

Stunned by Omar's invulnerability, I tried to trip him up with my low kick but he jumped out of the way.

"There's no way you can win, give it up!" he said

I picked up a shard of glass from a broken windshield and threw it with all my might, but he caught it and ate the glass. Without thinking, I charge right directly at Omar to deliver multiple kicks to his head but nothing fazed him. Soon he grabbed me by the throat and picked me up before saying, "This is it, I had fun but...it must end!"

Then I poked him right in the eyes, causing him to let go and dropped me to the ground. He was screaming and I took a chance to make a run for it, knowing that there's no way I can beat this guy in a fight. After running several blocks, there's a "Staples" building right in front and I decided to hide there for a while. Omar who recovered tried to give chase but for some reason he wouldn't enter the store so you can guess what happens afterward.

"Screw this, they're not paying me enough for me to do this!" he said and left

Actually he didn't say that, just something I threw in but yeah...

After being thrown out of the store by one of the staff members who said, "Next time you come here, buy something!", I went to a gift shop to check things out. I entered the store and on the shelves were realistic looking dolls of kids. Granted some people would think it's adorable but personally, I thought they're creepy...

"Hello, how may i help you?"

I turned and saw an old lady...

"Is there something you want?" she asked

I said, "Not really, I'm just checking to see if there's something interesting,"

"That's okay, take your time!"

"Thanks!"

"Now I'll go and check to see if my cookies are ready, would you like some?"

"Okay I guess..."

"Wait right here, it may take a while,"

Then she went to the stairs right next to the entrance.

"Guess the store is also her home," I said to myself

After waiting for several minutes, I went to check out one of the dolls on the shelves and noticed something's up. These dolls...tears were streaming down from their faces...

"Some kind of new models?" I said

Then I began to hear some voices...

Help...me...help...me...

Run...away...

Save...us...

She'll...get...you...

"What the hell?" I said

I touched the dolls and they're warm...so out of morbid curiosity I lift the shirt of a doll of a girl dressed up as a nurse and felt her up.

Pervert!

"Whoa, something's up alright!" I said

She's...coming...run...away...

"No,"

She'll...get...you...

I turn to the stairs and heard the old lady coming down. Determined to know what was going on, I waiting for her until she returned from the second floor where I went to confront her about the matter, being that it's a delicate situation, I decide to try not to overdo it.

"What's with these dolls? They're crying and I can hear them talking to me!" I yelled

Soon the innocent kindly smile on the old woman's face changed into a grin and said, "Oh so you found me out,"

"Who are you?"

"Kids disappear from time to time and some were never seen again...some were gone for decades and were never found alive!"

"So you're a...what are you?"

"I hate adults coming to interfere with my business, people like you should be taught a lesson!"

Then she reached into her jacket and took out her wand but before she could use it, I kicked it out of her hand.

"You're a bit smarter than I thought, but this time you won't be very luc-stay away from my wand," she said as I dove for the wand

I took the wand and said, "Why should I? Time for a taste of your own medicine!"

Frightened, she went to shield herself as I tried to cast a spell on her only to realize it doesn't work...

"Um...crucio? Stupefy...avada kedavra...damn it!"

Yeah I learned something new today, magics do not work like they do on Harry Potter.

"Time for plan B!"

I snapped the wand in half.

Soon the old witch started to scream and in a bright flash of light, she turned to stone. Few seconds later the statue that used to be what I thought was a kindly old lady who turned out to be an evil witch blew up and what's left are dusts.

"Well, I guess she got stoned!" I said

The dolls began to disappear one by one until there's none left, I'm guessing that they're freed from the curse. After a long day, I went back to the hotel where I would go on to take a rest.

I really hope those kids would finally reunite with their families although good number of the won't sadly...well it could have been worse. There's one thing that bothers me, why is Omar afraid to go into Staples? It's pretty weird.

"Okay everyone, I'm back from the hospital, I hope thing went well with Andrew filling in as the leader, so...how did it go?" said Victor

Most of the people in the room said, "Terrible!"

"He got James Dillon raped!" one said

"Some of our members quit saying that they don't think revenge is worth it anymore!" said the other

"He's a dick!" said another

Victor turns to me with a weird look on his face and I responded by giving him a thumbs up. The dude didn't look too happy for some reason although I can see why. Guess those idiots are okay with the fact that one of them almost drowned while the other ends up with a bodily injury from being used as a projectile for a giant slingshot. Those rejects really need to make up their own mind, not to mention many of them helped out as well.

"Okay people, it's time to move on, for our next plan we'll need to be prepared..." he said

Then he takes out a rope before proceeding to continue, "We'll set up a rope trap so that the bully will find himself dangling upside down!"

It reminds me of that show from "Nick"...

Hours later while at the woods, the trap was set and everyone decided to come up with a plan to lure someone when they realized that a bait is needed.

"How about hot dog and steroids?" one of them said

"That won't work, we need something else!" said the other

"Yeah, especially after what happened few chapters ago," I said

Everyone then turns to look at me and said, "What?!"

"Never mind..."

I went to the local pharmacy to buy some juice (steroids itself would work as a lure anyway) when my old nemesis appears. The Chargers fan came and show up slightly more ridiculous than ever due to swimming in the sewage. Seriously the smell is unbearable and he's covered with dried sludge, dude needs to take a bath.

"We meet again Dennis and this time I will finally kill you for all the abuse and suffering I have been put through!" he said

"Dude, you need to take a bath, the smell is almost as nauseating as the time when Comedy Central butchered that South Park episode, just get out of the way and we'll fight another time!" I said

"Hell no I won't go, I will get my revenge for what you have done for the past two and a half years!"

"All I did was laugh at you because you let the door hit you in the ass and not to mention I had to call the feds on your friends at the effigy burning ceremony!"

"You did it because you're a Nazi!"

"I did it because you people are fucking idiots, you can't burn an effigy of a president as I said before and I don't like the guy...not to mention you burnt effigies of Giants players as well!"

"Shut up! Giants suck and they always will, the Chargers are the greatest team ever and will win more championships than anyone else before Rivers retires!"

I facepalmed and said, "Giants won three Super Bowls, how many the Chargers won? None! Not to mention the most Super Bowl titles won is 6 by the Steelers and the Packers lead the league in overall championships with 13,"

"That's a lie, the Packers only won 4!"

"There are championship games before the Super Bowl era kid, with that said the Giants have won a total of 7 which is more than your Chargers can ever win even if the AFL title counts...also the Chargers were loaded with steroids when they won the title!"

Then I continue, "Keep in mind, the only time the Chargers made it to the Super Bowl, they got raped and LT wasn't even involved!"

Angered at this, he then said, "Enough with that bullshit and LT wasn't drafted until 2001!"

"You're a disgrace to the reasonable Chargers fans you know, just quit being a sports fan and go to Tibet so that you can become a monk!"

Suddenly he takes out a gun and said, "Fuck no! I'll just shoot you instead!"

"What the...who sold you the gun?"

"The gun shop owner didn't want to sell me the gun so I told him my parents are dead and he felt sorry for me!"

"Looks like we have something in common, South Park is a good show,"

"Yeah it is, but still I'm gonna kill you!"

I kicked the snow right into his face, blinding him and then I knock the weapon out of his hand. Afterward I pick up the gun and point it right at him saying, "Just give up, seriously every time you went to fight me it's going to be the same result, you'll never win and I have no idea how many times I said that!"

The Chargers fan got up and said, "You're not gonna shoot me, it's broad daylight and people will know!"

"I know, I'll just kick the crap out of you instead!" I said before putting the gun away

"Big mistake!" he said

Soon he went to throw series of punches at me but I dodge them all and knee him in the stomach. Then he gets up and threw a high jump kick but I leaped right over him instead, causing him to hit someone's car instead, rupturing a windshield. I went to change my stance to that of a boxer and starts to move around like in a ring. The Chargers fan got out of the car and proceeds to make a charge only to get punched repeatedly in the face. Then I went to deliver flurry of punches right to his abdomen, causing him to stumble backwards and puke out whatever he ate.

"H-how...how is it possible for you to beat me!" he said

"I have been doing the same thing for all this time and you still think you can win? I beat up a mime one time and that clown's even more challenging than you are!" I said

"I don't believe you, no one can beat a mime!"

"Don't believe me? Just go to New Zealand and ask him, he'll tell you!"

"Alright, I will...where does he live?"

"In a village near Auckland, forgot where so you may have to search from one village to another but it's close to Auckland..."

"Okay thanks, I'll go and ask him if what you said is true,"

Then he left.

After buying some steroids, I went back to the woods where everyone have been waiting for sometime.

"Where the hell have you been?" said Victor

"I had a hold up back there, but it's taken cared of!" I said

"Okay, now to...where's the trap?"

I point at where the rope is placed.

"Andrew, sometimes I think you have been taking all the spotlight," he said

"Being the main character can do that," I said

"I have no idea what you're talking about..."

Soon afterward the some dude who went to place the bait on the trap got snared and was hung upside down by the foot.

"Idiot!" said Victor

The rope snapped and he fell on his back, so the plan failed as usual but this time it wasn't as funny as the previous ones for some reason. Everyone went home since it's already getting late anyway and agreed to meet again to prepare for the next plan while Victor came to me and said, "I told you not to overdo it, one of our members got raped because of this!"

"So walking on a thin ice and slingshot someone as a projectile are any better?" I said

"No, but the point is some of the things can be traumatizing that it'll worsen the situation to the point the guy would snap and it happened before!"

"The slingshot gave one of our other member a cartoonishly massive body injury, I seriously doubt it's any better,"

"Except he quit and gave up on revenge, that's the goal but what you have done will motivate Dillon, I told you to keep your eye on him, if he snaps then it's going to be a real problem!"

"There's no need to worry, the experience will help build some character on him!"

"I hope you're right but the rape is messed up and if things goes wrong, it's on you...anyway did you catch a glimpse of the rapist?"

"Yeah I did, he plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers!"

After few minutes of silence, Victor then walks away looking squicked.

Yesterday I saw a bunch of Westboro goons at it again, this time they're protesting the Super Bowl because two of the players have long hairs (Clay Matthews and Troy Polomalu). They were hoping that both the Packers and the Steelers would lose because according to them, "Any men with long hair is gay!"

That's right, if you're a guy with long hair, you're gay!

"This is getting ridiculous!" I said

I went to the store and bought several bottles of "Head & Shoulders" shampoo.

Then I start rolling each bottle right at where the Westboro punks are and one by one each idiots steps on it by accident. Soon the shampoo starts to squirt everywhere, causing them to slip and fall like the three stooges.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" I laughed

"You won't get away with this you filthy atheist!" one of them yelled

"I'm not an atheist, seriously get a life!"

"Whatever, we will teach you a lesson!"

He went to swing a flier at me but I grabbed it out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the "Fags burn in hell!" sign right into his rectum.

His friend came and said, "WTF? You're not gonna get away with that!"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

Then another Westboro nahzee came and said, "You monster, you shall be punished!"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"You...I will teach you a less-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"You vile thing!"

Then I kicked the flier out of her hand, knocked her down, flipped her over, and shove the sign right into her rectum.

"You dirty chink, out of our coun-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign deep into his rectum.

"Racism is a no-no!" I said

What's really ironic is that they supported the civil rights movement, guess evil does have standards.

"AGH!" another one screamed

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum while humming that song from Lucky Star.

"You will fall!"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"How many are there?" I said

"It's my turn, this ti-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"STOP YOU..."

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"YOU PRIC-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"LEAVE US B-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"I'm calling the c-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"YOU SC-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"ARRRG!!!"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"I HATE Y-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"I LOATHE Y-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"YOU ASS-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"YOU UNAMER-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

Then I said, "You dare to call me unamerican after praising what happened in 9/11?" before continuing, "Also don't get me started for protesting the soldiers' funerals you worthless piece of shit!"

Once it's over, I proceed to walk into the sunset!

While the meeting at the warehouse was about to begin, group of geeks, nerds, and other social outcasts were busy talking when I pound the desk with a small gavel I bought from a local pawn shop. After most of the talking stops, one dude was busy listening to his walkman and was reciting some lyrics which sounded somewhat...disturbing. Annoyed and creeped out, I took out a megaphone and said, "May I have your attention please!"

"I repeat! May I have your attention please...will that asswipe please shut up!"

Soon the dude stops listening to his walkman and said, "Are you talking to me?"

"Yes I'm talking to you, just turn off your walkman or I'll break it on your head!"

Then so he flipped me off...

"We're going to have a problem here..."

Then I talk the walkman and smash it on his head, leaving a lump.

"...you asshole...my walkman..." he stammered

"Okay people, Victor's in the hospital so as of now I'm taking over, anyone objects can do so now until five minutes!"

One guy raises his hand and said, "Why are you the one filling in? You're a member for only about couple of weeks!"

"Good question, it all started when I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical,"

Then he said, "Is it from Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical?"

"I'm very well acquainted, too..."

About few minutes later after reciting the lyrics from the song "I Am The Very Model of the Modern Major General.", the person who questioned me then said "Good enough for me!"

Afterward there's no more questions although the person whom I smashed that walkman on fake sneezed and said, "I'm sorry, just allergic to bullshit!"

I gave him an evil eye and went to pick up the box that I brought in for this meeting. I open the box and took out a ballroom dress which happened to be what Victor's sister wore at the prom.

"What am I holding?" I said

"You're holding a dress, are you going to wear it to the prom faggot?" said the walkman kid

The place erupts into laughter.

"No, what happen is that you will be the one wearing it!" I said with a grin

"What?!"

"Allow me to explain, what will happen is that you will dress up like a woman so that if a jock finds you attractive, he'll try to hit on you and one of us will take some embarrassing photos as a blackmail!"

"What the fuck man? You're almost as bad as that bitch from that japanese cartoon, I'm not doing it!"

"You have no choice in the matter kid...everyone, seize him!"

Everyone came and restrain the walkman kid and I threw in the dress so that they can dress him up forcefully. Afterward, I went back to the box and took out a lipstick and a makeup kit before taking out a stick of lip balm from my jacket (cold weather doesn't bother me mind you). Once we're done applying the makeup and lipstick on the walkman kid's face, he looked...well just picture Tim Lincecum with a lipstick, that's how he looked.

Then I said, "Whoa, you're ugly as hell...maybe if you're lucky enough, Ronaldo might take interest in y-" before he kicked me in the part that hurts the most.

One hour later...

The walkman kid was out in the alley waiting for someone to show up. But however as time goes by, many people passed by without even giving him a glance.

"It's getting hopeless," said Ron (the guy whom I met few chapters ago when I first infiltrate the school) while holding a camera.

"Just give it time, if a jock shows up and gives him a brief glance, we'll jump on this opportunity and spread false rumors once the copies of the photos are released!" I said before realizing something about that plan I came up with, damn you Lohan!

Suddenly we heard a scream...

"Help! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!!!"

We saw a huge man running from where the walkman kid was and I told the group to check on him while I went to chase the assailant. After running for few blocks, he jumped onto the motorcycle and sped away but not before I could see the jersey. It's black and yellow with a large "7" on the back, couldn't see the name but it gave me a clue regarding his identity...

"Wait a minute...isn't he supposed to be in Texas getting ready for the Super Bowl game in two days?" I said to myself

I went back to check the walkman kid and there I saw him lying on the ground in fetal position saying, something incoherent. I borrowed Ron's cell phone to call the ambulance and soon enough the walkman kid's is now in the hospital. The plan worked out even better than I had initially hoped. Anyway Victor will be back as the leader in few days so it's fun while it lasted. To tell you the truth, maybe I was a bit hard on the walkman kid...at least he did get to meet a professional athlete however.

If 4chan finds him, this could be one of the possibilities:

Luka Magnotta was a bisexual porn star who had it all. Low-rent fame, notoriety (he dated a serial killer one time), and money. However, being the whore he is, Luka came up with an "ingenious" plan to gain some extra attention. First thing he did is to go to the pet store and purchased two innocent kittens, then he went on to bring them home. Unbeknownst to the two kittens, their new master is planning something that will eventually end their lives in a horrific manner.

"Okay kitties, time for you to meet your maker!" said Luka

"Meow?" said both of the kittens

Luka takes out a camera and begins to record his evil deed. Moments later he vacuum his kittens to death and held their bodies to show that they're dead.

"Now to upload the thing..."

Sometime later, the whole world saw the video with reactions to dull surprise to WTF. Unfortunately for the attention-mongering gay porn star, the video would also garner some attention from certain groups of people from the internet sewage known as "4chan".

Eventually Luka's identity as the cat killer have been exposed and received several photos of goatse as a response to the murders of two kittens. However, being that he's a bisexual porn star, the photos have no effect.

"What the hell are these?" he said

Then the next day...

"Ding dong..." said the door bell

"The guy writing this have gotten lazy it seems..." said Luka

He then opens the door and to his surprise, a large number of teenagers have been waiting for him on his door steps.

"Who the fuck are you?" said Luka

Then one of them said, "We had enough of you killing cats, it's time for you to die!"

Then the teenagers went on to tackle him before proceeding to pin him down. However, being that he's a bisexual porn star, Luka enjoys it.

"Now for the fun part!" one of the teenagers exclaims

He takes out a dildo and shove it down Luka's ass. However, being that he's a bisexual porn star, Luka enjoys it.

"Damn, it's not working...time for plan B!"

The teenager then takes off his pants and proceeds to rape the cat-killer. However, being that he's a bisexual porn star, Luka enjoys it.

"Damn it, it's not working!"

"I know, it's goatse time!"

Several teenagers then pull down their pants and forced Luka to witness their butt stretched open. However, being that he's a bisexual porn star, Luka enjoys it.

"You have got to be kidding me!"

"Guess we'll have to kick his ass!"

The teenagers then beats him to death. However, being that he's a bisexual porn star, Luka hates it because the pain is unbearable.

Soon his body was cut up into several parts. However, being that he's a dead bisexual porn star, Luka couldn't feel it because he's dead.

The pieces are sold on eBay. However, being that he's a dead bisexual porn star, Luka wanted to sue so he went and harassed Whoopi Goldberg but thankfully she couldn't hear him.

"Curse you Patrick Swayze!" he said

After going back to high school after the weekends, I saw that jock from before getting picked on. To those who don't remember what happened, we had a fight after class with everyone watching. The fight only lasted long as it did because I was busy toying with him, he never had a chance from the start. In the end, the jock ends up on the receiving end of a curb stomp battle, it's no contest and he lost every single credibility since then. You know, I don't feel bad for him even if he is getting his lunch money taken buy a chess club member. Guess the nerds finally have someone to pick on, making them feel superior for once.

After he got up from being shoved to the locker by a computer nerd who resembles Bill Gates, he saw me and fled.

"What a loser," I said

Anyway to avoid getting caught since the teachers would have know that I'm not in this school. I went to the cafeteria where I practically kill some time. I didn't eat anything due to my previous experiences with school lunches, it's pretty disgusting. The funny thing is that I saw that same jock sitting alone because whenever he tried to sit on the same table as his teammates and even outcasts, they got up and left. Now that's something what the Hindus called "Karma", no need to feel bad for that guy, especially after my powerful victory.

Once the school ends, I went out to the warehouse where the losers are having a meeting discussing a plan to get back at the bullies. After the event that have occurred the last time they planned something, I knew whatever they're planning will fail. Seriously, it's already pretty much a given considering how bad it was. No wonder why they're outcasts, they're idiots and I thought nerds are supposed to be smart. Guess I found something that breaks the stereotypes when it comes to these kind of people.

The leader came with two other teenagers carrying a massive object covered with a huge veil and said "Okay, while our first plan have failed, I have come up with 'Plan B' which should but the bullies to shame, behold!"

He took off the veil to reveal a giant sling shot!

I was drinking coke when it happened and spat some onto the guy right in front of me.

"Anyway, what we need is a projectile which can be used to knock those assholes out cold, who wants to volunteer?"

The guy next to me got up and said, "I'll do it!"

Everyone cheered while I sat there wondering how bad this one will turn out. Some time later we were outside with a giant slingshot looking for someone to target when my sorta friend from before spotted one of the bullies with his binoculars and said "There's one, let's attack him while the chance is still good!"

"I agree!" said the guy next to him

The sling shot was then positioned as the volunteer puts on a helmet and bicycle gears in order to give him some form of protection. Soon the band is pulled with the volunteer being pulled backwards until his friends decided that it's far enough.

"Ready?"

"Yes I'm ready!"

"Fire!"

His friends then let go on him and soon enough the moron was fired across the street and hits the jock!

Amazed, I said "Whoa, it actually worked!"

"Yeah I know right?" said my friend

But unfortunately, both the idiot and the target ends up with bodily injuries and were send to the hospital.

After it was over, most of the idiots went home while the leader said "Our next plan will turn out better, I guarantee it!"

An hour later, while on my way back to the hotel when I encounter my old enemy...

"Well, well, well...we meet again Dennis!" he said

"Wait a minute, how the hell did you know my name?" I said

Then he became angry and said, "Stop playing dumb! Us Chargers fans have known who you are, I'm sick and tired of you belittling us!"

I sighed and said, "Maybe if you can just stop trying to kill me for the past two fucking years, I would have left you alone, there's a thing called self-defense bud!"

"Fuck you, this time it'll be different, vengeance will be mine!"

"Where have I heard that one before?"

"Mock me while you can, this time I will kill you!"

"It's been over two years already and you never won, you'll never win, and more importantly...the whole thing will turn out the same, just give it up!"

"I won't, not until I finally kill you!"

He takes out a switch blade and tries to attack but I kicked it out of his hand. Soon I proceed to kick him right across the street. Angered, he then got up and tries to charge toward me but didn't notice an uncovered man hole and fell in.

"I'll get you next time!" he screams

One day I got bored so I decided to infiltrate a local high school for kicks. It would be just like in that movie in Hong Kong so I figured it would be fun. Needless to say, it turns out the situation would become more than I bargained for. I was able to get past the otherwise thin security (I used a discarded backpack) and made my way into the building. It helped that I shaved this morning with a razor back at the hotel (talk about good service) and wore my normal glasses so I looked nerdy like in my actual high school days.

While on my way to the cafeteria, some douche bag shoved me to the locker and laughed about it. I was ready to kick his ass when I remember that if I do that, it'll attract attention, thus blowing my cover. No need to ruin the fun...yet.

"Are you okay?" someone said

A geeky kid came up to me and continues "This guy's really pisses me off, I couldn't have lunch because of him!"

"Well, that sucks!" I said

"I know, one day we'll get our revenge!"

He hands me a card and said "Meet us after school, just follow the direction,"

Then he took off as the bell rang.

"What a loser," I said

I went to the restroom to take a dump when I heard couple of students discussing something.

"Hey, don't forget to meet that old abandoned building!"

"Why? What's going on there?"

"We're planning something big, something that will help us get our revenge on those jocks!"

"Oh hell yeah, those bums won't know what's coming to them!"

Then they both went on to chant "Heil Dylan! Heil Eric!"

"Those two are the gods!"

"Their sacrifice will not be in vain!"

Then they left while I'm sitting in the bathroom stall deeply disturbed.

Then I said to myself, "That card...can it be?"

I took out a card and it contains a direction to that old warehouse...what the hell? They're going to shoot up the damn place, something I'll have to stop!

Also, what is it about warehouses that makes them popular for someone to scheme something? I don't get it!

After leaving the restroom, I accidentally bumped into one of the jocks who shoved me earlier.

"Watch were you going faggot or I'll beat your head in!" he said

Tired of this, I said "You don't look very tough!"

"What did you say?"

Then he pushed me back several step.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing? I'm going to pound your head in for this!" he said

"Really? We'll settle this like men after school, outside of the building!" I said

"It's a deal, you better not run!"

"Oh I won't, if you're lucky enough maybe you will!"

"What did you say?"

I got out of the building at 2:40 and wait outside for the jock to show up. After few minutes he did shows up and said "You didn't puss out, I gotta give you that but it's time for you to know your place you loser!"

He threw a punch but I block it with my arm without moving a spot.

"What the...you're not going to be lucky this time you dweeb!" he screams

He threw flurry of punches but I blocked them all with just one arm. The funny thing is that my arms are weak as hell, some jock he is. Let's just say this guy won't be in my NFL fantasy team because who would be stupid enough to draft him to the NFL? Maybe the Oakland Raiders but that's besides the point however.

"Stop mocking me!"

He backs up and attempts to bull rush, but I leaped right over him. He ends up hitting the lamp post and everyone watching starts to laugh.

Someone yell "Hey Brad, stop messing around and finish him already!"

"Can't believe you're having trouble against that guy!"

"What a loser!"

Angry, the jock tries to bull rush again with same result as I jumped over him.

He turns and said "How the hell do you manage to jump that high?"

"Easy, I did tons of push-ups and sit-ups and drank plenty of juice!" I said

Then I said "I lied about the push-ups and sit-ups part, I did cardio and it helps!"

"T-that's impossible, I did cardio too...but how did you-"

"I like to walk, that's why!"

"Enough!"

He takes out a knife and tries to stab me but I kicked it out of his hand. Afterward I punched him in the abdomen where he collapse in pain and starts to throw up. All the students watching stood there in shock. As I said before, my arms are weaker than a ten year old girl and how he get hurt by a punch makes me wonder on how he made the high school football team...maybe his family has tons of money.

Stuff like this tells you how some people can get their way. I seriously doubt this loser will have any credibility left by the next day. I gave the jock-wannabe a middle fingered salute and left while the students part way so I can get through. I took out a card and begins to follow directions to where the meeting's taking place. Surely enough I came upon that old warehouse and there's seemed to be an activity going on.

I went inside and was greeted by a student I met earlier.

"Welcome and I'm glad you can make it, what is your name?" he said

I quickly thought up a fake name and said "Um...Andrew Lau, yeah that's my name...Andrew Lau (taken from a cantopop/movie star from Hong Kong),"

"Okay, come on in Andrew and join us!"

Figuring that in order to stop them from doing something stupid, I decided to join so that I can learn of their plans before taking any actions. Sitting among the social outcasts, there's a small blackboard and a emo-looking teen came up.

He drew a diagram and said "Everyone, our time has come to take revenge on those who have tormented us!"

Everyone cheered except for me...

"Now, what happen is that I came up with a plan that will totally not gonna fail!" he said

After spending few seconds drawing something on the board along with a diagram, he then said "What we'll do is that we'll place a hot dog and a bottle of steroids right in the middle of a frozen pond so lure them here, once it's done the weight will cause them to fall through the ice,"

Everyone then cheers while I fell off the seat in surprise. For a while I thought they're going to shoot up the school, turns out they're going for some incredibly half-assed!

I sigh in relief since that hare-brained plan won't work and it'll result in them hurting themselves.

Then the teen continues, "I would have prefer shooting up the school but our parents hates guns so this will do and there's no way it'll fail, it's foolproof!"

I smiled and said "Foolproof indeed!"

I decided not to stop them since it's going to be a sight to see. As made made our way to the pond, one went off to get a hot dog and steroids at the drug store while other went to test the frozen pond. First he poke it with a stick, next he starts to tap the frozen surface with his foot. Soon he walked right onto the pond and test the density by jumping on it repeatedly.

"It's good, we can walk on it!" he said

Afterward he slips and I grab him by his feet before he slide away.

"Thanks!" he said

"You really need to be careful," I said

I just wanted to see how their plan fails, not to see them screw up before they start or otherwise it wouldn't be as hilarious. After the guy came back with a hot dog and a jar filled with Barry Bonds' certain "Flax seed", the items were then placed on the middle of the pond. After it was done so, the surface gave away and the poor fellow climbed back onto the surface freezing. I went and call the ambulance where he would be taken to the hospital.

The leader (that teen) then sigh depressingly and said "This plan didn't go as planned..."

Then everyone went home, promising to meet again once the dude recovers. I return to the hotel and wait for that time...if it becomes too serious I will try to stop it!

But yeah that half-assed plan didn't go well, can't believe they actually thought it would work.

A rap music can be heard from several blocks away if played full blast, that's what I learned. I liked the song "Let Me Ride" as much as the next guy but seriously, what the hell. Even from the hotel room I can still hear it from there. With that said, one morning I got out and went to confront those obvious gangsta-wannabes.

I peered into the window and saw bunch of black guys watching "Black Hawk Down" and they were cheering whenever a soldier gets killed.

"Don't mess with da Somalis!" one said

"Whiteys goin' down!" said the other

"Black people and their misplaced racial pride," I said

I broke through the door and one of them yell "What the f-" before I fired several beams of energy from my fist. After obliterating them, one huge black guy emerge and said "You gonna pay for what you did n***a!"

Curious, I said "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah sure, why not?" he said

"Why is it that when blacks use the n-word, it's okay yet when the people from different races said it, it's offensive?"

"That's the way it is mofo!"

Soon another black guy came up and said something in a foreign language. The thug points at him and said "This brotha came from Somalia, he won several drag-the-body races including the ones in 1993,"

Then he continues "He's taking you on!"

The Somali begins to walk toward me and I took out my shade. He threw a punch but I dodged it and slice his stomach open, not much came out. Then I punched him in the back, paralyzing him in the process. Soon I went to drag him outside right to the street where I forced him to put on to the curb of the sidewalk.

"Only one I'll be apologizing to is the dentist!" I said before proceeding to stomp my foot on his head, crushing it.

I saw the thug trying to run so I blast him with my ki blast, nuking him. Once it's over, I went into the house and proceed to stock up on the drug money, rap albums, marijuana (I was going to sell those to Tim Lincecum), etc.

A day later I met Dave Chappelle and sold him the marijuana for hundreds of dollars. I have no idea he's in Minneapolis.