Yesterday I saw a bunch of Westboro goons at it again, this time they're protesting the Super Bowl because two of the players have long hairs (Clay Matthews and Troy Polomalu). They were hoping that both the Packers and the Steelers would lose because according to them, "Any men with long hair is gay!"

That's right, if you're a guy with long hair, you're gay!

"This is getting ridiculous!" I said

I went to the store and bought several bottles of "Head & Shoulders" shampoo.

Then I start rolling each bottle right at where the Westboro punks are and one by one each idiots steps on it by accident. Soon the shampoo starts to squirt everywhere, causing them to slip and fall like the three stooges.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" I laughed

"You won't get away with this you filthy atheist!" one of them yelled

"I'm not an atheist, seriously get a life!"

"Whatever, we will teach you a lesson!"

He went to swing a flier at me but I grabbed it out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the "Fags burn in hell!" sign right into his rectum.

His friend came and said, "WTF? You're not gonna get away with that!"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

Then another Westboro nahzee came and said, "You monster, you shall be punished!"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"You...I will teach you a less-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"You vile thing!"

Then I kicked the flier out of her hand, knocked her down, flipped her over, and shove the sign right into her rectum.

"You dirty chink, out of our coun-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign deep into his rectum.

"Racism is a no-no!" I said

What's really ironic is that they supported the civil rights movement, guess evil does have standards.

"AGH!" another one screamed

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum while humming that song from Lucky Star.

"You will fall!"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"How many are there?" I said

"It's my turn, this ti-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"STOP YOU..."

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"YOU PRIC-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"LEAVE US B-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"I'm calling the c-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"YOU SC-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"ARRRG!!!"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"I HATE Y-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"I LOATHE Y-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"YOU ASS-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

"YOU UNAMER-"

Then I kicked the flier out of his hand, knocked him down, flipped him over, and shove the sign right into his rectum.

Then I said, "You dare to call me unamerican after praising what happened in 9/11?" before continuing, "Also don't get me started for protesting the soldiers' funerals you worthless piece of shit!"

Once it's over, I proceed to walk into the sunset!