After recovering somewhat from the incident in Manhattan few days ago and the last night baseball game in which the Yankees lost (Curse you Jason Bay!), I was busy watching a television when I heard someone yelling. I went to the window and heard him screaming about some tournament taking place in New York City and how he's going to take part to "Pwn people of New York"

I went outside and said "Kid shut up, no one cares about a stupid tournament, it's 6 in the morning and people are trying to sleep"

"Shut up! You're not telling me what to do, I'll kick your ass bitch!"

"What the hell's up with you kid?"

"Shut up, I challenge you, meet me three hours from now at Forest Park!"

"To what?"

"A duel!" as he takes out a deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards

So that's what it's about

"Why would you want to challenge me to a children's card game?" I said

"To make you cry, don't forget the duel disk!"

Then we part ways

Knowing my little brother's a fanatic and he collect all those cards, I'll might as well humor that punk just to shut him up by making a deck from the collections. I even borrow my brother's duel disk as well. It's awkward seeing that I have lost interest in Yu-Gi-Oh! years ago, times change as you know why but it happens.

Three hours later we faced off in Forest Park at the golf course

"Are you ready?" he said

"Get it over with" I said

When we activate our duel disk, one of the hologram projectors that shoots out of mine hits the jogger in the face

"Sorry about that!"

The jogger got up and jogs away grumbling

My opponent starts off by summoning a bunch of monsters in one turn, that can't be right, isn't that illegal?

"Did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?"

"Yeah, so?"

"It's against the rules isn't it?"

"Screw the rules I have money! Now draw your last pathetic card in your deck so I can finish it!"

"My deck have no pathetic cards aside from at least half of the entire deck including some japanese cards I never seen before, but it also have this!" as I shows him Exodia

"Fuck!"

After beating him at a children's card game, the punk runs away crying

After it was over, I was walking home when some teenager came up and said "You're still into that children's card game? What a loser!"

I was getting ready to leave for Hong Kong (in few days, I'm lazy) to settle something when I was called to the hotel. Someone on the phone told me to meet him in a hotel room in Manhattan claiming that he have clues regarding the portal scandal. After taking a J train and then an E train to Manhattan where I went to the Sheraton hotel, I follow the directions I have written down. There I took an elevator up to the 5th floor and enter the room I was told to meeet someone, don't know who. Whoever it is, he's pretty nervous for some reason and he said that the clue is in the giant box.

"The box is huge, I hope you're telling the truth" I said

"Um...gotta go, I need to get something, wait here" he said

After he left, he then lock the door for unknown reason until I realize something...it's a TRAP!!!

The box burst open and inside was a robot that look like a cross between crash dummy and Ultraman.

Soon the television turns on by itself and on the screen it's Nicholas De Genova

"I should've known!"

"This is what you get for stopping me twice, this time there's no escape and I've known about your acrophobia, what are you going to do now?"

The robot floats up and flew toward me, I dodged it and it hits the wall breaking it

Suddenly I got an idea, I position myself in front of the door and wait

"I know what you're going to do, it's not going to work" he said

"Damn it!"

Knowing the crazy professor have thought ahead, picked up a broomstick and use it as a weapon

"C'mon!"

The robot flies toward me, I hit it with a stick and then it comically flips several time

"Wood is good" as I hit it again and again and again and again until it breaks

Self-destruct initiates in 10...9...8...7...

"WTF!" and having no choice, I jumped out of the window where luckily I land on an awning (ripping it at the same time due to my weight fell through after bouncing for a bit from impact)

Then there's a explosion which took out the entire room I was in and I saw that backstabbing prick trying to run after ordering hotdog from a vender. I chased him down and start beating the crud out of him screaming "You bastard!"

The two cops who saved me from that Charger fan over a month ago came and restrained me saying "Okay enough, it's enough, he had enough..."

Afterwards I did calm down and they cuff that idiot before taking him away. After coming home, I turn on the television and there's a news about the event that happened, the traitor was arrested and will be put away for some time....at least he was before he pled insanity.

But when it comes to one of the quotes from one episode stating that "There's no romance around us", you have to agree with that as you'll know why.

Last night I met a japanese girl in Flushing at the store shopping some clothes, I was taking a stroll when she caught my eye. She's pretty cute and when she looked at me, she smiles but I was kind of nervous. But then I summoned the courage I need to come and talk to her, there's no way I'm going to blow this one (although it's my first time).

"Hello kon ban wa, how are you miss?"

She's impressed, so then I continued

"Watashi wa New York no machy Desu,"

She laughed, I think I messed up a bit but I went on

"Anata wa totemo kawaii"

I think I got myself a girlfriend, moments after she was done shopping I took her out for a date. After driving around a bit there's a sushi bar and we went to have a dinner. It's pretty romantic, like the scene from Casablanca. Soon I start imagining my life with her in the future once she becomes my wife which include opening a sushi bar. After we're done I paid the bills myself so she won't have to.

Happy, she thanked me "Arigato Gozaimashita!"

But then it happened...

As we walk out into the lobby in the restaurant, a man shows up wearing a traditional japanese robe who then takes out a sword yelling "Nan desu ka!"

I realize it's her father

He then tries to attack me with a sword until his daughter restrained him. I asked them what was going on, that's when I realize how stupid I am, it turns out the girl is 16 and a half. Horrified, I backed away and said...

"Sayanora,"

Followed with...

"Goodbye!"

After they left, I walk around in the lobby and realized I have also spend all my money on her as well. Afterwards I lie down on the lobby couch depressed and was wondering if there's ever going to be a romance for me.

Yesterday I was at home watching a baseball game (I want to cry, my team got raped 22-4, WTF?) when someone rang the doorbell. When I open the door, a group of people hand me a flyer, a fruit basket (okaaay...), and a invitation to a meeting for New York Democrats (I wasn't even registered yet, also that party have been the reason why they have trouble getting their represenatives elected for the last few years until recently). I ask them why are they randomly inviting people in Queens (Yes I know, my favorite team plays in the Bronx) all of a sudden since many are not interested in attending? Then they gave me the answer that made me decide to attend...

"There will be cake"

After walking for several blocks and following directions written on the invitation, I made my way to Forest Park where there's a gathering at the bandshell. I took a seat on a bench and prepares to sit through whatever speech being made, first it was Ward Churchill. After sleeping through few minutes of his hate speech, another person came to make a speech and I heard a familiar voice.

"One day, our troops shall suffer!"

I woke up and realize it's Nicholas De Genova, now I know what the gathering's for, it's to brainwash people! (I should've known from the start when I notice the members of the Democratic Underground were here as well).

"YOU!!!" I yelled

The crazy professor then said "So, we meet again after defeating my pawns few months ago"

"You are not going to get away with what you're doing!"

"What are you going to do? Come on out Michael Moore and Ward Churchill"

Then the terrible duo came out

"Yes master?"

"I want you two destroy that man!"

Ward Churchill charge at my direction holding a copy of "How To Pretend To Be A Native American For Dummies"

He swung a book at me, but I dodged it and leap-kicked him in the torso, afterwards I head-butted him, causing him to fall to the ground. Then I proceed to finish him off with body slam, knocking him out.

"Bring it on Michael Moore!"

Moore just stood there and said "Give me your best shot!"

Stunned at his defiance, I decide to attack him and to my dismay, all the punches I have landed on him were absorbed by a large layer of fat.

"Giving up?" Moore sneered

Then suddenly I got an idea, I took out some jelly beans and lure Michael Moore

"Here fatty, want some jelly beans?

"Candy..."

After few steps toward the bandshell where Nicholas De Genova was standing, I threw the jelly beans at the nutty professor. Then Moore leap on the professor to get the jelly beans, you should've seen what happened, it was priceless!

After it's over, Moore ate the jelly beans and fell asleep while De Genova got up bloody and bruised

"You may have won for now, but remember next time it'll be different!" before hopping on his bicycle and rode away

I was going to chase him when a group of people from the gathering got in the way

"No way we're going to let you get away for ruining our meeting"

I turn on the radio right next to me and proceeds to fight them all

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird
B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

"Ow my face!"

"What the hell is wrong with you people? It's only one guy!"

A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a don't you know about the bird?

"I want my mommy!"

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

"My leg!"

"It's only one guy!!!"

"My hair's been assaulted!"

Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word!
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a...

I start to storm my way out

Surfin' bird
Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb... [retching noises]... aaah!

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa -pa-pa-pa-
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa -pa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow

"Spare me!"

"I'm hurt in more ways than one..."

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow

"Screw this, I'm running away"

"Anyone else?" I said

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom
Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow

"There's no cake is there?" I said to one of the beaten assailants

Well don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word!
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word

After I got out of the park, there are group of people including those who invited me waiting outside the gate

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow...

One of them said "What just happened?"

I told them the horrifying truth I have been trying to ignore during this ordeal

"The cake is a lie!"

Logan International Airport and the area around it up to ten miles radius happens to be the neutral site in Boston. After staying overnight at the hotel near the airport to recover from the jetlag, I was told by the hotel manager that once I leave the neutral site, I'm on my own. I wasn't sure what he meant by that but I figured it may have something to do with baseball season so I went to the gift shop to buy a Red Sox cap as a disguise, a pair of glowsticks, and a jacket to keep the glowsticks in the pocket. The disguise worked and after taking a taxicab to Boston Commons, the cab driver said "This is as far as I can go, good luck!"

I decide to go to Boston Commons and take a break, with that I slept on a bench for a while. When I woke up and was ready to leave, someone came and block the exit.

"You're not fooling anyone with your disguise" he said as he puts on his Chargers cap

"Another Charger fan?" I said

"You killed my brother in Hong Kong, I'm going to take you down!" he yelled

"We'll settle this another time, right now..."

"No, we settle this now! No one fell for your disguise anyway"

Distantly a bostonian said "I did"

"Everyone beside this guy..."

"We did too..."

"WTF? Is there anyone who didn't fell for that crap?"

"Listen, I was going to leave this city safely when you show up and fucked up the whole thing, because of this my cover's blown and I'm not going to forgive you for this!" I said

"So we are going to settle this?" the Charger fan said

"Like men" I answered

The Charger fan starts off by acting like a monkey and did a poor imitation of Bruce Lee until I punched him in the face. Afterwards I start beating the crud out of him until I notice I have been surrounded by Red Sox fans.

"You have trespassed into our territory, we are not going to let you leave in one piece!" one of the Red Sox fan said

As they're closing in on me, I look out a glowstick and wave it at them

"What the hell is that thing? Get the hell away from us!"

It's a common knowledge that Bostonians are scare of glowsticks, this is why I bought a pair at the giftshop, good thing Logan International Airport is one of the few neutral sites in Boston

After leaving the park, I quickly threw out my Red Sox cap as the disguise no longer work thanks to that idiotic Charger fan. After doing so I went to the parking lot and waited behind a tree. A dude went to open a door to his SUV and I got in pointing a glowstick to his neck

"Don't run, drive"

The driver did as told, after some time we're finally out of Boston, but I'm still not safe yet...not until I reach Connecticut (Yankees territory in New England)

"Keep driving and don't look at me, look at the road...that's how accidents happens"

After an hour or so, we are at the neighborhood near the border when suddenly the driver opens the door and jumps out yelling "The hell with you..."

As I struggled to conrol the steering wheel from the mid-seat, I have to steer the vehicle to the tree before bailing out myself. When I got up the vehicle then blows up and I was then confronted by a mob with clubs, golf clubs, pipes, etc.

"You're gonna pay for that!" one of them said

I took out a pair of glowsticks and used a piece of string to tie them together to create a nunchuckus.

"Bring it on!"

Massholes not from Boston don't fear glowsticks, with that I have to fight my way through. Moments later Carl Pavano shows up saying "Don't worry, I'll help you"

"How are you going to do that?" I said

"It's simple," as he cracks his fingers...breaking them all in the process before running away crying "Mommy!"

"Thanks for nothing as usual" I said (Remind me why did the Yankees waste large amount of money on that trash? What did the Indians see in him when they sign him?)

Using my martial arts skills, I was able to take down the mob although I lost my nunchukus after it flung off my hand hitting a guy yapping away on his cell phone.

"You won't get away with this, it's not over!" said the masshole as I'm approaching Connecticut

On my way there's a fence, I have to climb over it in order to reach the safeheaven, how can I do that? Then I realize I've been cornered by those still standing, I was ready to take them on when I heard a voice saying "Stop, let him go!"

It's Tom Brady holding a machete, he sliced open the fence.

"Thanks Tom Brady, but I'm still rooting against your team you know"

"I know, get going 'cause it's getting late!"

It's a good thing the New England Patriots quarterback happens to be a Yankee fan or otherwise I would've been in as they said in Full Metal Jacket, a world of shit. After walking few miles, two figures came toward me

"Remember us?" one of them said

I remember them, the duo from that time

"I remember, Michael Strahan kicked your ass" I said

"This time gap-tooth won't be around to save your ass!" said the Mets fan

Then the twosome made gay pose before fusing, "In a form of...Met-Sox troll!"

The fused duo then immediately fire a hadouken at me (Strahan was able to deflect it with ease), I decide to try to block. The ball pushed me several yards to the building before I was able to force it right to the streetlamp, destroying it. My hands stings like crazy, looks like I'll be feeling this one for a while.

"Damn you, it's impossible!" said the Met-Sox fan

"Nothing's impossible as long you believe!" I said

"No matter, I'll fire another one" as he prepares to fire another hadouken

"Kamehameha!" and I quickly fire a energy beam at the tool, obliterating him in the process

Now it's over...

After my vehicle broke down few days ago, I have to walk several miles with my AK-47, pistol, and a bandolier of grenades. I'm all out of food and the wireless laptop's power finally gave out, the map is useless so for a moment I thought I'm screwed when I saw a camp nearby after wandering in a desert. When I came upon a camp, to my surprise it's actually where the warlord camps out along with his troops. Not only that, it's the one I was looking for ever since what happened last summer.

This time I will end this!

As I snuck into the campsite, I quickly subdue one of the militant walking by and took the ammos to reload my weapons. Afterwards I look around and made sure nobody's around before I move around to find that warlord when I accidently knocked over a cage filled with doves. Remembering the scenes from John Woo films, I knew doves flying around are bad omen. Soon shots are heard and I have to duck down to avoid getting hit.

"Stupid doves" I said

I quickly dove to the other side behind the supplies and start firing away at the militants with my AK-47, even hitting the explosives. Soon the militants/terrorists were running around yelling in a language I don't understand (foreign languange is never my strong suit aside from english)

Figuring it's safe enough to come out, I went to took for the warlord while making sure no one's behind me in all this confusing chaos. I eventually did found the warlord and I was ready to shoot him when that world's most overrated assault rifle decides to get jammed, the bastard noticed so I threw the assault rifle away, took out my pistol and quickly took him hostage (pussy thing to do I know).

"Stay back! If you don't I'll shoot him" I said despite the militants probably don't know what I'm saying but they understand

Then the warlord shout something and his men were ready to fire, I pushed him toward them and quickly ran to hide

This isn't good at all...

Then I remember I still have a band of grenades

"How did I forget about those?" I said

Then I came up, pull out a pin from a grenade and punts it at the militants along with the warlord...

"AAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!"

There's a explosion and they got blown up, kids there's a lesson to be learned, in a battle always stay away from tanks of fuel.

But it wasn't over yet, the remaining militants are looking for me so I have to stay until I take them down

As I was fighting them off, I saw a viper (villian from the G.I. Joes who killed some of the characters, he was believed to be dead when Snake Eyes pwned him), apparently he was brought back to life as I saw cybernetic parts on him. So I have to hide again and then the gunfight stops for a moment so the viper can call me out

"Give it up you coward! There's no way you can escape now, do what I say and I'll end it quick!"

What he didn't know is that I have no intention to surrender to that prick who mudered several Joe characters including the black guy (although he wasn't responsible for death of Breaker whom happens to be my favorite character)

Then I remember a scene from a John Woo film called "The Killer", I took out a small round of shells and toss it right at them

"What the..."

Before one of them pick it up, I fire at it with another AK-47 I picked up from a dead militant and something amazing happens

The former viper of the Cobra Commander screams "Fu--"

Amid the carnage, I came up to the viper's body and shoved a grenade up as ass (Got the idea from www.stickdeath.com)

"This one's for Doc!" I said before diving away to avoid the explosion

Just to clear things up a bit, the reason why I didn't use kamehameha is because the camp is near the Ethopian/Somali border, so I figure the Ethopian troops might arrive sooner or later. Arrive they did and after few days of questioning in which I told them I was on vacation and was kidnapped, they let me go and I'm due back to the United States. Before that I went back to Somaliland to pack up my stuff and went on a flight to Canada which is where I'm at right now, the transfer will take place in five minutes from now so I gotta make it quick. The transfer fight will take me to Boston after several hours of delay where...wait...a...minute...Boston?

Remember when Bryan whines about the Art and Literature Portal? Also remember when he claimed that it'll ruin old NG despite the fact that he's a post-redesign user?

After reading his post, I decide to teach him a lesson he'll never forget...I hope. It begins when I was looking for the location of his residence when I met Vincent the robot from "The Blackhole", after telling him about what happened he agreed to come with me. I was stunned since I didn't ask him to come so I ask him why.

"I heard about this kid, his house is guarded with robot drones created from what's left of his old friends before he lobomotized them all" he said

"You're kidding me right? There's no way he could've done that!" I said

"You'll be surprised on what he can do"

"Yeah I know, I didn't know he have friends"

"That's not what I'm talking about..."

After finding Bryan's location, we snuck in through the back door after climbing the gate at the backyard (Vincent hovers over it). In the kitchen there's a mindless robot drone walking around doing household chores, what is up with that kid?

As we proceed onward to the living room, some robot sentries shows up. I took out my phaser I stole from Shatner years ago at the autograph signing and proceeds to fire away while Vincent fires laser beams at the sentries. After defeating the sentries, we went upstairs and found Bryan in his room I-bombing my song parodies at amiright. Angry I pick up a chair and beats him to a pulp while Vincent then alerts me that the sentries have sent their reinforcements after us, we have to escape!

So then we went into Bryan's escape ship (how the hell can he afford those things?) and took off into space. Surprisingly the pod heads straight into the blackhole where we were sucked in and the whole thing became distorted. I start having visions, one of which have Bryan floating around before merging with a root and he ends up in Brokeback Mountain with a random cowboy.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!"

Then the original theme song from Star Trek plays out of nowhere

After it was over, our ship stopped and we came out, we're back on Earth. Then I saw a guy from a free credit report commercial riding a bicycle and I decide to join in because gas prices blowing up sky high
Ditched my used subcompact for a two-wheeled ride
Now I'm rolling eco-friendly but I still look bad
When the bike store saw my credit they said this was all they had

(Vincent joins in)

F to the R to the E to the E to the
C to the R to the E D I T
RE to PORT to the DOT to the COM
Come on everybody grab your bike and sing along,

F'd in the A to the S to the S...

---UPDATE---

I beat up baro41.53 for dissing Michael Jordan, cracked his head open and discovered that he have no brain. Don't worry, he'll be fine.

The fact that baro41.53 have no brain does explains it, how can you talk trash about Michael Jordan? Guess I found another one.

Right now I'm trying to find Spidernight, sticksgood, and that sore loser Pistons fan

Was was driving toward some city I don't know (the map is blurry) to refuel before continuing my way to the place where that warlord from last summer is camping out (heard about his hideout, I'll have to confirm it). As i said, I don't care for what he did to BigBadRon but what happened to the kid is my fault as I'm the one who got him killed and I'm going to avenge him. But then several hours ago I encounter something stupid, haven't seen an epic fail since the time I flunked the spanish exam repeatedly...

On my way I encounter some strange people wearing corporate business suits with a helicopter behind them. I pulled over and said "Need any help? It's a dangerous place you know, you people should get out be..."

"Don't move, we have invisible guns and were not afraid to use it!" yelled one of the men pointing his finger at me

"What invisible gun?" I said as I proceed to walk toward them

"Stand back!"

"Dude, lay off drugs"

"Why should we? It's mandatory for the employees of 4Kids you know!"

Stunned, I stood back and said "So you're the employees of the 4Kids, what are you doing here?"

"Were here to strike a deal with one of the warlords so we can gain more profits by supplying his men with invisible weapons" said one of the employees

"I can't let you do that" I said

"Then we'll have to kill you" and proceed to "fire at me"

I just stood there while the idiots were pointing their fingers at me shouting "Bang, bang, bang, bang...dammit, he's invincible!"

"What you're doing is against the law you know" I said

"Screw the law, we have money!" the idiot said

"Maybe we should censor the part were he kicks the crap out of us...ow!"

After beating the crap out of the 4Kids employees, I decide to use their helicopter. But unfortunately as soon I touch the helicopter, that piece of junk fell apart. Thankfully the fuel tank is intact and is half full so I use the fuel for the vehicle. Those 4Kids people are not human so I left them in the desert to die, I know that's cruel but at least I'm not like those idiots in the general forum who would post something like "owned!" or "lol" when something tragic happened like in that thread about the news regarding the 5 year girl being decapitated by that prick. Come to think of it, at least I'm not that Red Sox fan who posted a picture of himself with 9/11 tattoo (yes the bad kind) on a messageboard before getting his ass banned.

Haven't been able to sleep for few nights in my journey in Somalia since leaving Bosaso. One night I had a strange dream while sleeping in a vehicle (refueled while in Bosaso) while hiding in a abandoned building, come to think about it...it was two dreams. It's a long story and I'll have to make it quick since the wireless laptop may run out of power as it haven't been recharged for quite a while and may give out any time soon. All I can tell you is that it's getting pretty ridiculous as you'll know why.

One night I was sleeping, I had a dream where the background is all while and I was alone, soon someone appears. It was that dead blue haired chick from Strawberry Panic, it's as awkward as things can get or so I thought.

"Where am I?" I said

"This I cannot answer but what I'm here to do is to tell you that you're journey ahead will be long and dangerous" said Kaori

"Captain Obvious" I said

"That attitude is what will get you into trouble as well"

"That's what Coop said but so what?"

"Were running out of time, what happen is that your journey will become more difficult than ever, just be careful..." as she disappears

After waking up, I went back to sleep and this one's what kept me up...

I was watching a Yankee game when Lupica shows up yelling "$200,000,000 dollars!"

I woke up screaming...

Just several hours ago something strange happened after arriving in Bosaso when I was going to take a break after several days of perilous journey since that incident involving the prior and Chris Beer's clone. After getting off a old vehicle I hot-wired and used to drive to the city for few days, I went to take a walk for a bit when someone came and confront me, another one of Chris Beer's clones.

"I've been send here to stop you from wrecking my master's plan to take over the portal, I'll wipe the floor with you!" as he predictably charge at me

Surprisingly in the fight we fought to a standstill after few minutes until he jumps back and did some strange pose yelling

"4 Jin no Ken!"

Then suddenly he split into four people

"What the..." I said as he prepares to attack

First I had trouble following their movements due to their speed and were able to land some cheap hits along the way. After jumping around and dodging for several minutes, I became annoyed and tries to think of a way to stop this when common sense kicks in.

"Why didn't I thought of this?"

As the Beer clones were running around circling me, I stuck my foot out and tripped them all. After they fell I start beating the crap out of them until they all merged back. Because of the damage each clones have taken, it became serious after merging back so he couldn't take me on like he have before (Your power weakens when split, dividing it up in the process).

"What are you going to do now bub?" I said

"Please...spare me..." he cries

Seeing how pathetic he looked, I decide to let him go until...

One of the somali residents in Bosaso yell something in his language pointing his finger at my direction, I quickly turn back and saw the clone ready to shoot me. I dove away and took out my pistol and start firing at him until I ran out of bullets, putting the end of one of Chris Beer's countless clones.

"Very impressive eh?"

I turn and saw Zen444, one of the most notorious trolls in NG history.

"What are you doing here? Do you know it's dangerous?" I said

"Like I care you faggot, I'm here to make sure you don't succeed!" Zen crackled in laugher

Stunned, even for a troll that's too much, why would he plot against Newgrounds? And so i asked, "Why are you plotting against Newgrounds? You're a Newgrounder too!"

"Not anymore, after all those years of suffering I have endured due to those faggot mods banning my ass no matter what I do, free speech eh? I couldn't spam because of this and so i decide to punish them for what they did!" he snarled

Then it begins...

We stood there several yards from each other waiting for one of us to make a move when a bird flew by. Suddenly both of us charge toward each other and in the last second I swerve to the right to avoid Zen's uppercut, then I went to counter with my high jump kick but that bastard leaped out of the way.

"Is that all you got? Only way you can beat me is that energy blast from that shitty anime you watch and you cannot use it without taking out part of the city, you're fucked while I'm just warming up you faggot!" Zen laughed

Then I remember I have a trick up my sleeve, I went to take a nap and fell asleep.

The sound of explosion woke me up and I found myself dodging Zen's punches, because I was awake it caught me by surprise and was promptly knocked across the street (stupid pirates attacking foreign ships).

"I don't know what the fuck just happened but for a while it scares the crap outta me, now to finish you off," said Zen as he begins to charge at me

Having no time to lose I decide to use my special technique as a last resort (taught to me by a low-profile martial art fighter Ho Kam-An) called "Invincible Wind and Fire Wheel" in which I leaped toward Zen and flipped myself over, locking my legs onto his head and grabbed his legs, causing us to roll into a ball where I used Zen's body as a shield. Because there's no stairs nearby (the techique works best on stairs), we roll and hit several walls of buildings in the city like a pinball until I have to let go due to dizziness. After I got up, Zen kicked me away and he looked messed up with blood and bruises all over yelling "This isn't over yet! One day I will destroy you!" before throwing a "Capsule Corp." brand capsule to the ground in which a small plane pops out, he got into the plane and flew away.

Right now I have some trouble sleeping because I still feel kind of sick from all that rolling.