Had bit of a setback here, I was trying to find where Chris Beer lives when I came upon a town that looks deserted. I went through the gate hoping to find someone and ask for a direction back to Auckland to rest for a bit. But then I realize there's no one here, with that I decide to explore the town to see what went on. After walking around for several minutes, I finally found someone at the gas station so I walk up to him.
"Excuse me, I got lost and I need some directions to Auckland"
The dude just looked at me blankly
"I said I need directions to Auckland, it's okay if you don't know where it is"
"Brains..."
"Huh?"
He start walking toward me saying "Brains...brains...brains..."
"Dude. not funny that joke's getting old"
Then suddenly he bares his sharp teeth, that's when I realized he's not joking.
"Zombie!"
I backed off and nearly tripped on a shovel on the ground. I picked up that shovel and start beating the zombie to a pulp. Knowing the town is overrun by zombies, I decided that it'd a spreading epidemic so with that, I ran to the abandoned pharmacy to camp out for the night. I have to stay alert so I stayed awake for the entire night armed with a shovel. That morning I took some caffeine pills from the shelf before heading out to fight some zombies.
Before I knew it, there were dozens of zombies and they all saw me.
"Oh crud"
"Brains..."
"Brain..."
"Liver..."
Outnumbered, I ran for cover and found a old shack right at the corner. I peered inside and nobody's here, there were hand grenades, firecrackers, and a frying pan stashed inside the shack.
One of the zombies came toward me saying "Brains..."
I quickly threw a shovel at him but missed, as he came closer I took a frying pan and smacked him in the face, knocking it out. As another zombie whom I recognized as "colm" (look him up on user post history) starts walking toward me, I said "Hey colm, ever heard a song by Elton John called 'Rocket Man'?"
"I hate american...I hate american..." colm chants
"I guess that's a no, Elton John's british and one more thing..." I said as I took out one of the firecrackers and aimed it right at colm
"It's too bad because you are the Rocket Man!" I continued before using my cigarette lighter to set off a firecracker
The rocket takes off and hits colm, blowing him to pieces.
"Way to get fired up!" I said before stocking up on those hand grenades
Moments later I ran from building to building to make sure the coast is clear, then I ran to the abandoned gun store and was greeted by surprise.
"Brains..."
I jumped out of the way and threw a grenade into the store. The building was then engulfed by a ginormous explosion.
"Well...guess I blew it" I said knowing I cannot shoot the zombies with all the guns destroyed
I head to the sporting goods store and found a stash of golf clubs, but unfortunately many zombies were shopping there as well. I start throwing grenades at them and took out bunch of them, then I grab a golf club, place a golf ball right in front...
"Fore!"
Then I swung and lines the ball at a group of zombies lined up, the ball went through all of them.
"Now that's what I call 12 holes in one"
Then I heard some of the surviving zombies groan
"C'mon, it's funny!"
After fighting my way to the entrance, a group of zombies are closing in and I order a soda from a vending machine. I pick up the soda can and shook it violently until the can starts to shake uncontrollably then I threw it at the zombies. The can blows up and soda sprayed all over the place, some even hits the zombies in the eyes. Then they start screaming in pain due to the acid in the eyes which you know stings.
I then found out I have one hand grenade left
"I have to be very careful" I said
Then while walking past the electronic stores and on stacks of televisions there's a breaking news.
"Breaking news today, be on a lookout for a terrorist terrorizing the town. He have killed dozens of people so far and is said to be armed and dangerous. No description is made as of now but beware of his unfunny one-liners"
"Oh great, first the place is overrun by zombies now there's a terrorist running around, I'll have to stop that bastard somehow" I said to myself
Seeing it's getting dark, I went to camp out in a abandoned motel for the night. As before I have to stay awake for the entire night, but figuring that I won't be sleeping anyway, what's the point? So I went to the trash can to pick up a raggedy jacket, but dirt on my face, and start acting like a zombie so they won't go after me. I acted my way to the grocery store where I drank a can of Red Bull, the owner of the store made angry sounds and I bashed a soup can over his head, knocking him out. For zombies, they're pretty vulnerable.
After finishing few more cans, I broke into a car and hot-wired it so I can try to drive my way out of here. But when doing so, I accidently shift the gear to reverse (I'm not used to using my left hand to do this) and backed over couple of zombies in the street. Then I shift it to drive and drove off for few miles until it ran out of gas, annoyed by this I knew I'll have to walk. Journeying for several hours, I came upon a hardware store. After looking inside, no one's here so I took shelter in the building just to catch my breath before I can start moving on.
But then someone enter the building...
"Brains..."
I grabbed a nail gun and starts firing nails at the zombie, it struck target.
"Nail'em!" I said
Soon more came in, I fired several rounds of nails and they all got pinned to the wall.
"If you guys weren't so ugly, you would made great pinup models" I said before leaving through the emergency exit
I knew I have to be careful, remember there's a terrorist out there and from what I heard, he's really dangerous and made bad puns no one would laugh at.
"I could use some sleep" I yawned
Seriously it's been two days at this point, I have to get some sleep soon for I'll go insane...more so than at this point. I made my way to the band and found a giant safe, I climb into the vault and lock the door after changing the combination of the lock itself so no one will try to open the vault. I have no idea how long I have been asleep because I didn't have my watch as I left it at the hotel in Auckland, but I woke up from a nightmare that Al Davis becomes the president of the United States and instigated a war with another planet for no logical reason.
Knowing I have to get going, using the combination I was able to open the door and turns out on one's around, the bank's still closed. I slowly made my way out of the bank while the sky was still dark blue. I found another vehicle so I came and made sure nobody's inside, as my lucky would have it, it's vacant. After breaking in the alarm sounds, a zombie starts running toward me, I shot him with a nail gun and proceeds to hotwire the vehicle. After driving for another few miles, I turn on the radio and I realized I slept in the vault for two days, that kinda explains why I felt that way...
Good thing I went to the restroom in the bank before leaving.
Soon afterwards I drove to the edge of the town where there are fence with barbed wires. I got out of the car and soon group of military men came and point their guns at me. Having no idea what was going on, I figured that they're here to fight off the zombies so I raised my hands and said "Okay, I'm not one of them"
Then one of them yelled at me in surprise "What the hell are you doing here? This area is designated for zombies!"
"What?"
"Come with us, we'll explain what happened"
After being held in custody where I was tested negative for diseases, I learn that I actually trespassed into a town called "Zombietown". So there's no epidemic...and that also means for all this time I have been attacking the zombies for nothing. After returning to a hotel in Auckland, I turn on a television and there's a breaking news in Zombietown, the terrorist have been identified...there's a description and he looked just like me. Now that's really creepy, but seeing there's many people in this planet, there's bound to be some bearing similar resemblance.