After spending almost a week recovering from a epic jetlag from a long flight, I finally got out of the hotel and took a walk before resuming my mission. As I was walking, I took out my hand-held television to see what was going on back home when there's a news about Kevin Youkillis trying to beat up a Tigers pitcher for beaning him. As you know, Youkilis got pwned by the pitcher and I started laughing. Honestly I didn't know there's a Red Sox fan right next to me, he's a tourist visiting some relatives in New Zealand and seemed upset.

"What's the problem?" I said

"I'm a Red Sox fan and that's my favorite player you're laughing at" he said

"I didn't know baseball is big in New Zealand"

Then he proceed to explain and the information is covered in the first paragraph.

"Sorry about that" I said

"You think that was funny? He got beaned ten times this season!"

"I said I'm sorry"

"I can't stand people making fun of the greek god of walks! I fucking hate you!"

"Calm down, remember goosa..."

"I also fucking hate that reference to 'Anger Management', Red Sox don't spend, in fact they're payroll are the lowest..."

I coughed "Bullshit!"

"I hate people who interrupts me..." then he takes out a Kevin Youkillis action figure and tries to hit me with it

I grabbed his arm and flipped him to the ground. Afterwards he begins to calm down and I helped him up.

"You really need to control your temper"

"I know, my bad...next time I should think of something funny like that pitcher's relatives getting electrocuted in 2004, it's awesome!"

Hearing this I punched him in the face

"Don't you ever diss the Sandman!"

"That spic had it coming, it was..."

I punched him in the gut

"Oh, testy" he grins evilly

"Make your move" I said

He runs toward me and I jump kicked him in the face. After he falls to the ground, he got up and performed series of backflips away from me. Then suddenly his face turns green and that's when I knew what was going to happen. I jump out of the way as he spew brown toxic liquid at me, it hits several people and it was ugly, their skin starts melting off and were screaming for help. I recognized that stench...

"Diarrhea"

"That's right, I'm actually a clone of Curt Schilling, the information I told you earlier is a lie"

"I should've known, only Curt Schilling has the ability to spew diarrhea out of his mouth in a rapid pace"

Before he can spew another one, I used my supernatural powers to take control of his limbs and have him beat the crap out of himself. But unfortunately, despite using only small amount of my power, the strain of taking control of someone else's body also forced me to let go so I couldn't hold on any longer. Know I have to draw him away from the populated area so he won't be able to hurt anymore people, I looked around as he was recovering and realized there are none, I'm in a middle of a city (though on a coastal area). But then something miraculous happened, bunch of New Zealand police arrives and they shoots the Schilling clone so now it's over.

I gotta go now, I have to answer some questions from the police in the next hour about what happened.