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some boring ass school

New York,NY

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Posted by Idiot-Finder - October 21st, 2011

I waited in line in front of a movie theater for over an hour when the door opens and suddenly everyone rushed in. The only reason I went to check out "Paranormal Activity 3" is that there's seemed to be a big deal over the first two movies so I figured, "Might as well."

After surviving from getting trampled by what seemed to be at least hundreds of people, I got up and bought the ticket. Then I went to buy a large bucket of popcorn, large coke, a box of milk duds, a bar of snickers, and tic tacs before heading to the theater room to watch the movie. Once I enter the room, it's crowded as hell so I move on to the next room with the same result. After going through five more rooms, I finally came upon a half-filled room and the screen is still showing nothing but some random advertisements no one really cared about (though I had to admit, I find the ads for a weapon exterminating zombie rats interesting, I'm planning to check it out one day).

As the movie's about to start, several more people came in and soon...like the previous rooms I have been to, it's packed!

After some feature presentation and all that crap, the movie begins...

After watching the movie for about an hour, I didn't find it scary although it is somewhat suspenseful. But then when one of the more frightening moments shows up, much of the audience except me jumped and the guy seated in front of me accidentally splashed some soda on me...

It gets worse, a yuppie right next to me starts dialing his cell phone and said, "Hey Richard how are you? I'm in a movie theater watching 'Paranormal Activity 3', it's the midnight opening!"

After few minutes of "Blah, blah, blah, yip, yip, yip, and some dribbles", that stupid asshole finally turn off the cellphone even though I asked him to tone it down about several times and then he said, "Be quiet, we're watch a movie!"

I fought off the urge to beat his face in.

After finishing the snacks I bought, a person sitting in the same row I'm at got up and starts moving through saying, "Move, move, excuse me happy?, out of the way!"

That fat blob squeezed though the half of the row and what made it horrific is that he's was moving to my direction!

After crushing me and several other moviegoers seated in side of the row, he let out a huge fart and the smell...oh god!

It's hard to imagine how worse it could have been had that blob let it out a moment too soon...I thought I was going to die from methane poisoning and not to mention the yuppie right next to me threw up on the person seated in front of him. Afterward not only I had to deal with the fart smell, I lived through the vomit smell as well.

The guy got up and yelled, "What the hell? You son of a bitch I'm gonna kill you!"

Then the two idiots got into a fight and one of them fell on me...thankfully the security arrived and dragged them out of the room. I thought that the debacle is finally over and how I can finally relax when some people in the room started to scream...it hurts my ears!

Then came the climax when the character Dennis gets chased by group of women wearing all back and the audience were freaking out, moments later I find myself covered with soda, milk duds, and popcorn...that asshole in front of me really need to calm down.



I can't stand people sometimes, seriously!

Once it's over, everyone started to leave and I got up as well wondering why people made a huge fuss about this movie, I mean "Sixth Sense" is a more superior "horror" film in many ways and this on the other hand...nothing more but something borrowed from the "Blair Witch Project". It's been a long night and soon something really freaky happens.

Someone tapped my shoulder and I turned to see a young teenage girl with brown hair and brown eyes who is about at least 14 years old.

She asked me, "Do you believe in ghosts?"

I said, "Well a little, just that some of the accounts might have been a bunch of made up bull crap but I do believe that there are some that are not the case."

Then there's a disappointed look on her face and said, "Okay."

As I was being pushed away but some moviegoers telling me to "Move it!", the girl then glides to a young couple and starts asking them the same question. I wasn't able to see what was going on as I was caught in the crowd and heard a loud high-pitched scream. Ever since that day, those young couple would become known as the people who crapped on the movie floor because they claimed that had seen a ghost. Granted no one believed them despite the pale look of their faces but still...really?

It took few days for that to spread because some guy happened to have a iPod with him and recorded them with excrement on the floor and upload it to YouTube. Needless to say, those people are crazy, I mean really? Ghost in a movie theater? I really wonder if they have been taking some drugs during the film.

I bet next thing they'll be doing is claiming that they owned a chupacabra in a ranch or rode a moth man to work.

Nice try, but still it made my night!

Posted by Idiot-Finder - September 12th, 2011

"I heard about what happened last night, I never thought Jim would do such a thing, I thought he was just stressed out!" said the bartender.

I was drinking a pint of beer only to spit some of it out when a news starts broadcasting a report about a cross dresser arrested in Boston for throwing soiled tampons at the police. Needless to say, this is one of the most random things I have ever seen. Also there's a report about some disturbing finds in Jim's room at the inn...

"Do you think the police will catch him?" I asked.

"The hell I know," he said.

I looked out of the window and notice the sky is getting darker.

"Night already? It was morning a while ago!" I said.

"It's already evening when you got in, you must have slept through the entire day from being out all night!" said the bartender.

I looked out again.

"I couldn't sleep last night...but this is crazy!" I said.

Then a woman enter came into the bar and seeing a chance to pick her up, I went over to her and said, "Hey, do yo-"


"Then what the hell are you doing in my bar?" the bartender asked.

She said, "I'M HERE TO SHUT DOWN THIS VILE PLACE AS YOU MALE PI-" as I punched her in the face.


Then she left and that's when I learn that third time is not the charm.

"God I hate those kind of people!" said the bartender.

"Tell me about it, I believe in women's rights and didn't mind feminists and all but...feminazis on the other hand...what's up with them?" I said.

I left the bar and saw an old man on a wheelchair struggling to get to the sidewalk.

"You do need help?" I asked.

"Thank you, thank you, just push it a little bit and I'll be on my way." he said

I carefully pushed the wheelchair to the sidewalk.

He waved to me and left.

Later that night on the news, the police raided Jim's police and found signs of struggle in the living room. The neighbor complained about the stench in the yard and that's when the police found the bodies of his wife and two kids buried in the garden. Being that the guy I have encountered is not only a complete psycho, but also a murderer to boot, it's hard to believe that guy had been staying in a room next to mine.

Taking no chances, I took out a gun and checked the ammo.

"Just five bullets...five bullets...oh c'mon!"

I picked up gun stole from a would-be school shooter last month and checked, it's loaded. I decided to go with this, with a psychotic killer on the loose, I'd rather be safe than sorry since who know when he would show up.

I went out with that silho again and after telling Andvaka about what happened at the bar...

"You shouldn't hit her like that!" it said.

I said, "I had to, she was yelling and besides, but punching her in the face I'm treating her equ-"

"No that's not it, if she tried to attack you then it would have been okay to hit back!"


I laughed a bit and I agreed with Andvaka.

As we started to continue further, I notice someone following me.

"Yes I know Vodka (a nickname I came up for Andvaka), someone's follow us!" I said.

"No, he's following you!"

"Whatever, whoever he is...wait...is it who I think it is?"

I turned and see Jim holding a machete and said, "You have ruined everything, I wi-"

I cut him off saying, "I didn't do that, you did it to yourself, and not to mention..."

I kicked the machete out of his hand and slammed him to the ground, bashing his head repeatedly until Andvaka told me to stop. Then I went to the payphone, call the police, and wait until they arrive to pick him up. I thought it was over until...


A group of women holding pickets and torches came towards me.

"Oh, you guys," I said.


Then a blast of bright light appears from behind me and I heard a female voice from before.

"Stop this at once!" she yelled.

Soon all the crazy feminists stopped with shocked look on each of their faces.


"It can't be possible..."

"It's our goddess...Andvaka..."

The last comment took be by surprise...that silho with me is a deity?

Then the leader of the group stammered a bit and once she regained some of her composure, she then said, "For years we've been awaiting your arrival to exterminate all men...but why are you with that guy?"

Then Andvaka answers, "I am not a goddess nor I will exterminate all males as the true reason I came here is to observe this world!"

Then one of the other crazy feminist said, "But the prophecy said that you will appear in this world and kill all men so that we will take over the world and live in harmony for eternity!"

Yes she actually believed that, cuckoo!

Then Andvaka said, "Do you really believe that? It's written by one of your own in order to get all of you to follow her, I will never do suck thing!"

All the feminists turned to look at the crazy lazy.

I turned around to look and saw a valkyrie floating right behind me.


I could say anything because I was terrified, it reminds me of a video game I played.

The feminists starts yelling at their leader and how she claimed to have done research on the library, guess she didn't do enough. Afterward they left as their crazy leader lies on the ground beaten and screaming like a maniac.

"All you people are flawed beings, however you have shown me the interesting aspect of this part of your world and for that I thank you." said Andvaka.

I was still speechless...

"Hopefully we will meet again, as of now farewell!" she said.

Then she disappears.

I return to the inn and in my room there's a message on the table.

"So what does it say?" the bartender asked.

"It turns out that there were many other like her send to other cities to observe us or something, guess they're interested in us...I don't know," I said.

Then I continued, "In this letter she also said that someone in charge of where she's from was planning to establish a relation with our world, it is interesting."

The bartender chuckled and said, "What a story you got there and not to mention you didn't bring the letter as a proof."

"I told you, it was blown away by the wind, what can I do?" I said.

Then I took out a pendant from my pocket and said, "She also left me this, check it out!"

The bartender took a look and said, "Where did you get that? That stone is Alexandrite! They have been mined out long time ago!"

"See?" I said.

"Still doesn't mean anything, anyway are you going to drink that? You have been sitting here ever since you ordered, we don't allow people to waste good beer!"

After finish drinking a mug of beer, I left the bar and it's still dawn.

I was lucky the bar was open that early due to the bartender's relatives from Ireland coming to visit. I return to the inn (yet again) and tried to sleep...with same results. It's already few days since I last slept and I'm feeling light headed.

I can't take it anymore!

Posted by Idiot-Finder - September 5th, 2011

Later that night as Andvaka and I were out checking out the places we didn't went to, there's a nightclub down several blocks from the inn. Knowing that I won't be able to get in since I didn't have an invitation or a reservation for that matter, I thought it would be a good idea to take a peek of what went on. However there's a long line and to my surprise something caught my eye, it's the guy who claimed that he needed sleep so he could work. First the suspicious looking woman from the night before and now this?

What kind of game is that guy playing? Turns out he's actually fooling around!

"Is there something wrong?" asked Andvaka.

"Yes there is, something about that guy seemed suspicious..." I said.

"What are you going to do?"

"Right now, I don't know."

Then remembering the bartender's advice about how I should get a girl, I figured that this could be the perfect opportunity to ask one out. I told Andvaka to stay for a bit and walk slowly toward one of the girls near the night club. She's a real beauty and with that I started to grow nervous until I took several deep breaths to calm myself down before proceeding.

"Hey, are these your friends?" I asked.

"Um...no?" she said.

"So you're available!"

"Sorry, I'm not interested!"

Then she walks away...

Being that it's my first try, I shrugged it off and went my way.

"It didn't work out did it?" Andvaka said.

"Yeah, I still have plenty of time so it's no big deal." I said.

After traveling to certain parts of the city...we got lost.

"Dennis, I can lead us back t-"

"No I'm good, just give me time and I'll find a way back to the inn."

"Whatever you say."

However after time passed, I have no idea where to go so I tried a shortcut hoping that I'll luck out from there. Surprisingly I ended up finding the farm which for some reason looked familiar, at that point I had no idea why.

"What is this place?" asked Andvaka.

"It's a farm, for an odd reason I have a feeling I been here before...I don't know why." I said.

I decided to take a look around the farm and since the farmer's obviously sleeping, I figured that it's safe to do so as long I sneak in quietly. I saw several cows sleeping and for laughs I tipped some of them, it's really funny. Then there's a large brown horse lying on the ground sideways, seemingly dead. I picked up a giant tree branch from the ground and start poking the horse several times with no response whatsoever. Andvaka starts shaking it's head and said, "What you're doing is mean, you will end up facing consequences for your behavior!"

"It's just a dead horse and I'm going to beat it a bit, what's the worse that can happen?" I said.

I kicked the horse and all of a sudden it got up and made a screeching noise.

"What the hell it's alive!" I yelled.

Then I heard someone rushing out of the house and a shotgun cocking...

"You city folk just wouldn't give up!" the farmer screamed.

"I warned you!" said Andvaka.

"No time to bring it up, let's get the hell out of here!" I yelled.

A piece of tree branch was blown off in front of me and could hear the farmer yelling from the further distance.

"Damn you city folk, you never give up!"

After running for about a mile non-stop, I collapsed to the ground due to sheer exhaustion with a coughing fit.

"You had it coming for this reckless behavior, you could have been killed!" said Andvaka.

At that point, I started to notice that Andvaka's voice sounded like a woman with a mysterious tone. I was too exhausted to turn to look at the sleep silhouette so I had no idea what was going on at that time. After spending several minutes catching my breath, I got up and realize that the farm is the same one I went to few months ago where I beat a farmer's beloved dead horse...yeah it was a fun time indeed, really pissed him off. Knowing this, I was able to remember the direction to the hotel I used to stay in, the inn isn't far from here!

"I remember now, see I told you I could find our way back to the inn!" I said.

Andvaka didn't say anything...

I sighed and said, "Let's go!"

Upon entering the inn, I noticed the three clowns from before were looking at me and I asked Andvaka, "What's with those guys? Are they waiting for me?"

"They have been stalking you for a while, you better keep your eye on them." it said.

"Okay thanks, so are you still angry about what happened?"

"Please don't do this again, I can't let you off if you do this again as long I'm here!"


For some reason I was starting to get a bit freaked out...until I heard some familiar voices.

"It's a great night, same time tomorrow?" woman said.

"That's one hell of a party, ha, ha, ha, yeah same time tom-"

"Hey, what an awkward time to meet huh?" I said.

Then the guy who stays in the room next to mine said, "Listen, I have a day off okay, it's no-"

"Is that your wife?" I said, pointing to the woman he's with.

"No, why?"

"I probably would have believed the bull crap but the ring you're wearing gave it away!"

The woman looked at him and said, "You're married? I'm out!"

The man turned to me and said, "Listen, it's not what it looks like...don't tell anyone okay? Please..."

I shrugged and said, "You had it coming anyway,"

I don't know his wife so there's no way I could have contacted her but I decided to mess with him a bit so that way he'll rush to his family and fess up. But however he charged toward me and I quickly got out of the way, only to trip on one of those lounge chairs at the lobby. The receptionist at the lobby was watching us and said, "Hey no fighting!"

The crazy dude turned to her and said, "Shut up bitch or I'll fuck you up!"

He really snapped big time.

I got up and said, "Dude, calm down, you're making it wo-"

"Shut the fuck up! You're not going to tell anyone because I will fucking kill you like what I did to my wife!"

Then there's minutes of awkward silence...

The receptionist started to pick up the phone and the psycho started to walk towards her.

"Dennis, why aren't you doing anything about this?" asked Andvaka.

I said, "I would have fought back but I don't think you'd be happy si-"

"I'll let this one slide, stop this guy!"

"Okay, whatever you say..."

Then I mumbled, "Bitch," under my breath.

I drop kicked the guy and body slammed him.

"Get up, I'm just warming up!" I said and cracked my fists.

But then he got up and said, "Fuck this, I'm out of here!"

Then he ran off.

"Did you call the police?" I asked the receptionist.

"Yes and they'll be on their way!" she said.

"Thanks, hopefully the psycho will get caught...so anyway, are you married?"

"Um...no, why?"

"How about you and me tomorrow night, we could go out an-"

"Sorry, not interested and please leave me alone, I have a job to do!"

I walked back to the room with a stinging pain of failure on the left side of my face...

Posted by Idiot-Finder - September 4th, 2011

I was still tired from what happened the other night. I mean it's been few days since I first met Andvaka and even then it took me some time to get used to it appearing randomly out of nowhere at night, it made me jump every time. All day long I have been yawning and took a nap at the park bench, hoping to relax for a bit knowing that I'll be seeing Andvaka again. I woke up when a fly went buzzing by my each and I freaked out.

I made my way back to the inn and saw the person from the bar walking into a room next to mine with a scantily clad woman. As much as I don't want to rush to conclusion, something about this struck me as suspicious, especially after remembering that there's a wedding ring on his hand when he tried to attack me at the bar. I was going to ask him if the woman is his wife but decided against it since who knows how he'd react being a possible psycho and all.

I ignored what I saw and proceed to enter my room.

I turn on the television and saw that there's a marathon of "1,000 Ways to Die!" is on. While some people might find it offensive and horrifying, I really don't see it that way since the shows have been portraying victims in hilariously ridiculously unsympathetic manners. I mean come on, the segments are cartoonish, how can anyone not laugh at that?

Anyway, I drank a can of "Monster" energy drink and waited.

"This is going to be a long night!" I yawned.

Then Andvaka appears and said, "It's time to go and show me around."

I jumped and said, "You really need to stop doing that, okay let's go!"

I looked at the clock and it's almost three in the morning.

Andvaka changed into a small floating orb and we left the inn for a tour of the city. Despite being in Minneapolis for several months, I'm still not familiar with the place so I decided to play it safe by covering the areas I have been to. As I walked, I saw three people looking at me strangely and I said, "What are you looking at?"

Maybe I should have been more polite but...never mind.

One of the people points right at me and said, "That small floating orb..."

"What is that?" the other asked.

I knew Andvaka isn't doing a good job concealing itself, that idiot!

I pretended that I didn't know what they're talking about and said, "What are you talking about? What orb?"

"Don't you see it? It's floating right next to you!" one of them said.

"Wait...Marty, what if this guy has a connection to the orb!" the other said.

"Holy dancing bananas, you're right Leonard!"

"Let's get out of here before this guy does something to us!" said the third guy.

Then they fled.

"What is this all about?" Andvaka asked.

"You." I said.

While showing some places including the warehouse where the idiots from the high school used to meet at, Target Field, Metrodome Stadium (now I know why this stadium have developed a bad reputation), and some random places.

"This city in your world is impressive." said Andvaka.

"New York is better," I said.

"Really? How so?"

"I live there."

After awhile I was ready to go back to the inn when a gang of black guys came up to me. I turned my head to see if Andvaka's there but that silho's nowhere to be seen...

It's okay, I hid myself inside you, maybe they'll walk away after seeing I'm not with you right? The other guys did came because they saw me...

"I don't think it's the case this time..." I said.

But then surprisingly one of them placed a stereo to the ground and pushed the play button where a hip-hop song burst out in high volume. Immediately the entire gang break into dancing like they're in "Soul Train".

After several series of dance moves, the song ends and one of them said, "You got served!"

Then the other said, "You can't beat that sucka!"

They took the stereo and left.

What happened?

"I think we just got served..." I said.

Is it a dancing ritual?

"Well you could say that...and one of the lamest crimes ever committed!"

Eventually the sky started to lighten up and I knew it's near dawn.

Andvaka appears and said, "It's been great, we'll meet again tomorrow!"

Then it disappeared.

I made my way back to the inn where I went to take a shower and went to bed.

"And that's what happened that night!" I said.

"Your stories are getting even more ridiculous by each time your telling me!" said the bartender.

"Why didn't you believe me?" I asked.

"Do you expect anyone to believe you?"

"Good point..."

I stretched my arms and yawned.

"This is the twelfth time you yawned, you haven't gotten any sleep have you?" asked the bartender.

"Just a little, but the song from the stereo last night kept ringing in my head, I couldn't sleep!" I said.

"Just get some sleep and with luck maybe that silhouette won't bother you in your dreams."

I notice the sarcastic tone but I shrugged and left the bar. As soon as I step out of the door, I accidentally bumped into someone and said, "Sorry about that, it wont...hap..."

I looked up and recognize the person as the guy who whined about not being able to sleep because of the noise I made at the inn.


Then he shoved me out of the way saying, "You're lucky that I'm in a good mood since you didn't make any noise last night, better keep it up or I will make your life miserable you dink!"

I thought about asking him about the woman he was with but thought better of it since it's best if I don't provoke him for a time being. Also again with "dink"? Really? I wonder if he's going to realize that's a very lame insult.

The song was still ringing in my head as I went back to the inn, damn it South Park!

Posted by Idiot-Finder - September 1st, 2011

"Hey, are you okay?"

I looked up and saw the bartender wiping a glass mug.

"Yeah I'm okay...well not really, it happened again..." I said.

"Figures, you better not be dozing off in my bar or I'll have to throw you out!"

I took a drink from my mug and said, "You know, there's something weird about all this."

"From all the stories I've heard, what makes yours any different from the rest?"

I told him what happened and how the mysterious figure said something before I passed out. By then the bartender starts looking at me like I did something stupid and said, "So you passed out when it started to say something...that's the darnedest thing I heard, guess your story is different from the others..."

"Yeah, but now that I'm starting to think about it, maybe it wanted to tell me something...what could it be?" I said.

"It's your problem, you deal with it yourself!"

Then as he started to leave to the kitchen, he stopped and said, "Another thing, you might want to get a girl so that way you won't become too lonely, trust me I know one guy who was like that."

"What happened?" I asked.

"They found him hanging by at the ceiling, he lived a lonely life, that poor fellow...used to be a regular here,"

"You know I'm from New York right? If I do get a girl, I doubt the relation would last on a long distance...not for me anyway."

"Don't sweat it, at least you'll have someone keeping you company for a while rather than whatever it is that shows up at night."

Later that evening, I went to a coffeehouse named after a character from "Moby Dick" and down several large cups of coffee. In order to know what the figure's after, I'll have to stay up as long as I can, also helped that I'm more of a night owl so in addition to that, I won't be sleeping until somewhere around next afternoon. Hours later while in the room, I paced back and forth for a long period of time waiting for the figure to show up. Even after several bathroom breaks due to all the coffee I drank, the figure had yet to show up even though it's already four in the morning at that point and I wasn't tried enough to sleep so I turn on the television.


I turned and saw the figure, causing me to jump a bit.

The figure went to touch me, I backed away and then it disappeared while making a loud screeching sound!

Later that morning at the local internet cafe, I went to look up the figure by typing "figure with spaghetti like arms and flaming eyes sightings" on Google. Several results turns up and the one that caught my eye is a link to "creepypasta" website titled "Sleep Silhouettes". I clicked on the link to check it out and once the page loads, a picture came up and it looked just like that figure I saw that night! Granted the picture is a bit fuzzy since it's a illustration of what one have seen but that's when I knew what that figure is. Oddly enough, when I read the description, it's said that their appearances are more related to sleep, such as when one has a sleep paralysis (which many have suspected the sightings to be). However, being that I was awake when it happened, either this is one of the exceptions or I was hallucinating.

Remembering that this is the second time I have encountered that "sleep silhouette", this is too much of a coincidence to be a figment of one's imagination. Knowing what I'm up against, I became well prepared for the next possible meeting. That night while waiting for the silhouette to show up, I passed the time by watching television and after several hours, I looked at the clock and it's three in the morning. Then suddenly with a sing-a-long voice, "Are you waiting for me?"

I jumped a little and soon I became excited...

"Finally...now to see if you're real!" I said.

I went forward and tried to touch the silhou but it disappears before I could reach it.

"What are you doing?" it said.

It reappears right next to the bed.

I dove across the bed to catch it but hit the wall in the process.


I got up rubbing my head when the silhou then appears right next to me and said, "Are you okay?"

I quickly tried to grab it but it vanished again and I fell over.

"Where the hell are you?" I said.

"Can you please stop? You're scaring me!" it said.

I chuckled and said, "Scaring you? After what you have been doing and I'm scaring you?"

I pulled off the cover from the bed and tried to catch the silhou only to see it appearing right on top of it instead. I tried to tackle it only to knock over a lamp and I juggled the lampshade for a bit before putting it right back.

"That was close!" I sighed.

"Please stop, you're being mean!" it said.

I sat on the bed and said, "So what are you?"

"I came from the land of the dreams, we would come to your world for a visit to see what your people are like."

"So why do you show up scaring everyone in the room?"

"I didn't mean to, your people have been running away every time I came!"

Then he asked me, "Why did you try to chase me?"

I sighed and said, "Well, some people thinks your appearances aren't real and when that happens, I couldn't be sure if the whole thing's a dream so I decided to try to catch you to see if you're real."

Then suddenly I felt a chill to my chest and I started to shiver.

"Your people do that whenever I came to the room..." it said.

"No actually, I get that all the time." I said.

Well it's true, that's just me.

Then I said, "How long are you going to be here? Since it is a visit..."

"I want you to show me some places and how your people work, once it's done I will return to my world!"

"Okay, still you freaked out a lot of people...you should try not to scare everyone even if they're all accidental,"

It laughed and said, "I can change shape and size..."

Then it shrinks into a small floating orange orb.

Impressed by this, I start clapping.

"Okay, I'll be your guide, just try not to stand out too much, we'll start tomorrow!"

"I'll be here, please don't freak out again!" it said.

"I'll try, so anyway...what's your name?" I asked.

"Andvaka, please to meet you! What's yours?"


Next day I told the bartender what happened that night with excitement.

"...and that's what happened that night, it's not very scary once you get to know it!" I said.

The bartender looked at me and said, "Have you been taking drugs?"

"No, why?"

"Because this is the most unbelievable load of crap I have ever heard in my life, you're telling me that this thing wants to go sightseeing? I'll be damned if it wants to go to the Twins game!" he laughed.

Then I heard someone rushing into the bar and shoved me from behind. I got up and turn around and see the guy from days before!

"You dink, what the fuck with the ruckus last night? I couldn't fucking sleep and I got late again!" he screamed.

"Dink? Again with that lame insult? Seriously who the heck calls people 'dink'? No offense but are you gay?" I said.

Then he pushed me and said, "Shut the fuck up you dink! Ima kill you right now, I hate dinks like you!"

"What the hell's eating your grapes?"

"Stop calling me gay you dink!"

"Wait a minute, I didn't say that yo-"

"Shut up you fucking dink!"

Then he grabbed my shirt and I clenched my fists, ready to fight back when the bartender said, "Alright bud, you better get lost or I'm calling the police!"

Soon the crazy psycho let go and stormed out of the bar.

"You better watch out for this guy, he's a lunatic!" said the bartender.

"I can see that," I said.

Posted by Idiot-Finder - August 30th, 2011

I was staring at a plate of scary looking pasta and for some reason I couldn't force myself to eat it.

"Waiter, what is this?" I asked.

"It's our special you ordered!" he replied.

I took another look at the pasta and while it's just plain pasta covered with tomato sauce, something about it creeped me out. I tasted the pasta and there's nothing special, it's the same as the ones you can find at the pizzeria. Granted I was still creeped out by the pasta but I was hungry so I finished the plate, paid the tab and left.

Later that night when I was ready to go to bed, I turned off the light and something caught my eye...for a brief moment I saw a strange figure but it vanished after just few seconds. Figuring that I might have been seeing things, I went to bed. After having bout of strange nightmares, I tried to wake up but for some reason I wasn't able to move my body and could barely open my eyes for few seconds and soon afterward, I fell back asleep.

Later I woke up and this time I was able to move my body and felt better, but when I turn to the right side, that same figure I saw that night was lying right next to me. It's an orange red shadowy figure with eyes which resembles fireballs and have spaghetti-like limbs.


Later that morning I was at the bar staring at a mug of beer when the bartender came and said, "Hey if you're gonna sit here at least drink the damn thing, you ordered it for that reason and I'm ain't gonna tolerate people who waste beer!"

"Sorry about that, just that something weird happened last night, I couldn't sleep the rest of the way..." I said.

"A girl dumped you I see,"

"No, it's not that...trust me it's hard to believe..."

"What is it then?"

I told him about the strange ghostly figure from the night before and then he puts the mug he was cleaning down and said, "You too huh?"

"Wha...you mean..."

"I have customers telling me the same stories left and right, I'm not sure if they're on drugs but maybe something's up, I don't know."

I was almost half way through the mug when I asked him if there were people screaming when it happened.

"The hell I know, they never told me although I heard that there's a lady screaming in the inn las...wait, that was you?" he said.

Then suddenly I noticed someone towering right behind me and then...

"So you're that punk who woke me up last night!" he growled.

I put down the mug and said, "Look, I'm sorry about what happened but yo-"

"Shut the hell up you dink, because of you I was late for work, do you realize how important this is? If I arrive late again my chance of getting a promotion will drop and I will murder you for this!" he yelled.

But something bothered me...

"Dink? I think you mean 'dick', if you're going to insult me then get it right, calling someone a 'dink' is almost as bad as A.J. Burnett's pitching, I mean really!" I said.

"Shut up you dink!"

After that he quickly walked away steaming mad.

"Is he gay?" I asked.

The bartender gave me a weird look and shrugged.

An hour later I left the bar and saw a familiar face.

"Hey Victor, how it is going?" I yelled.

"Nothing much, class is starting tomorrow but not that it mattered since you don't go to this school!" he said.

"I know, just want to let you know, don't let those ungrateful bastards get to you!"

"I won't, thanks!"

Then we part ways.

Later that night, I was up waiting for that creepy figure to show up while holding a bottle of seltzer water as a weapon to put it out since it's was flaming. I figured guns would be useless so I didn't bother to arm myself and started to have second thoughts regarding that. Looking at the clock, it was three in the morning and I started to feel tired so I thought that maybe it's all a dream despite the accounts from the bartender's customers.

"He's probably trying to scare me," I yawned.

I went to bed and fell into a deep sleep.

Next morning I got up and it's still dark...and then I heard a soft child-like voice whispering something to me...


I froze for a moment and looked back...it's that figure from the night before!

It started to wave it's arms and said, "Wait please...don-"

I fainted.

Posted by Idiot-Finder - August 28th, 2011

The police arrived and arrests were made while Victor was send to the hospital. It would take few days for Victor to recover but in the end there's no lasting injuries so all is well despite the fact that James Dillon was never caught. The police are still looking for the psycho but the important matter is that the whole thing is finally over but unfortunately...there are some repercussions due to good number of students sending out death threats to Victor's home.

Also there are some "evil eye" whenever some of the students from the school walks by.

Talk about ungrateful bastards, guess they like having their school shot up and themselves killed. Maybe they wanted something exciting to spice up their lives, well that or they're as fucked up as some other people are. If that's how it is, then fuck them.

As for my friends from the group when Victor was still the leader, ironically they're pretty grateful and are actually glad that we did what we did. Granted I did most of the work but still, whatever.

"So Andrew, since you're not from this state let alone this school, what are you going to do now that it's over?" one of them asked.

I thought for a moment and said, "I don't know, I did sign up for the air hockey tournament several months ago but there's seem to be a problem right now..."

"How so?"

"Lack of participants."

"No not that, they actually have a tournament for that?"

"I thought it was odd but yeah, they actually have one for that, well it,'s not like it'll be broadcasted on ESPN, that'll be silly!"

I went my way and wonder what will happen to James Dillon since he's still on the run. I hope they'll catch that guy, but in the end we'll never know until then.

At least it's finally over!

Posted by Idiot-Finder - August 24th, 2011

Some one tried to dump a bucket of liquid on my, thankfully the aiming was bad as it spilled several steps in front of me. I looked up and saw someone freaking out and ran back into the apartment window, that's when I notice the liquid smelled funny. Now I know the "surprise" Dillon was referring to on that letter he wrote, to tell you the truth I was taken by surprise...who the hell would try pour a bucket of piss onto someone's head? Not to mention that he missed.

See what happened, I ran into the apartment and up the stairs to find the sick freak. Remembering the floor and the window, I ran up to the fourth floor and stopped to think about which apartment room he's hiding in. But then a moment later I could hear a door opening and saw the piss dumper walking by...

"You!" I yelled.

He turned and his face went pale.

"H-hey...look it's a joke okay, just a funny prank...I don't mean a-any harm..." he stammered.

He took off and I ran after him.

After chasing him around the hall, he ran into an open door and slams it shut. Before he was able to lock the door, I kicked it open and the kid started to scamper to whatever he could find to defend himself. Then the door slams shut right behind me and out of nowhere all his friends jumped out.

"We got you now!" the kid laughed.

After a moment I slapped myself in the forehead and said, "Oh now I get it, surprise! This is the surprise, not that bucket of piss,"

"Too late!" said one of his friends.

Then they start spraying me with crazy strings...yeah, that's how they "attacked" me.

"Oh, don't feel bad just because you're covered with crazy strings," one said in a mocking tone.

"Now that we have humiliated you, you won't be able to show your face in the public again!" said the other.

"Really? That's it?" I asked.

But then again had their weapons haven't been confiscated by the raid, it would have been ugly I guess. I quickly forgot about the fact that I was angry at the idiot for trying to dump a bucket of excrement on me and laughed. I had been in a random mood lately, with all the things going on it gets really unpredictable so in the end what those guys did actually helped loosen me up. The imbeciles were confused and looked at me like I went crazy or something.

"Hey, what's the matter with you?"

"Yeah, have you gone mad?"

I removed the crazy strings and said, "Good one guys, this is hilarious!"

"Wait a minute, you're supposed to be crying not laughing!"

"Can't believe this, he's enjoying it!"

"I give up!"

Then there's some more conversation but I forgot the rest so...

After I left, I decided to go to Victor's to see if something happened and that he might know. While on my way, the Chargers fan from the night before shows up brandishing a glow stick and said, "You're not punking out on me are ya? I'm going to give you a reason to punk out once I'm done with ya!"

"What's with the glow stick?" I asked.

"I heard it's a weapon that can kill Giants fans because it's their greatest weakness, I'm going to try it out!"

"That's Red Sox fans you fucking idjit."

He went ahead and start whacking me in the head with a glow stick, but then I punched him in the face and he starts bleeding out of his nose.

"Oh gawd...my noze...youse asswhole...how dare yoo..." he screamed while covering his face.

I grabbed his head and start slamming my head on it repeatedly until I started to feel dizzy.

"You may have won for now, next time...!"

Then he took off.

Feeling tired, I returned to the inn and took a rest for few days, I was lazy so it's almost a week since that time. Remembering what I was going to do before slacking off, I went to Victor's home and notice the door was ajar. I entered and in the living room there are some signs of struggle, granted nothing's damaged but there's a bit of a mess here and there along with some cereal being spilled, what a waste of food.

There's a note on the floor and it reads:

Dear Andrew Lau,

While our attempt to humiliate you didn't work out and more of our members have dropped out, the rest of us decided to take matters further. Your friend Victor is now under our captivity, you better show up at the warehouse unarmed.

If you don't, I hope you won't mind your friend ends up with a throat slit!

I tore up the letter and start cursing at myself knowing that if I hadn't took several days off, this wouldn't have happened. However since the letter didn't say when I should show up, I decided to abuse the loophole and hoped that I'm not too late. So later that night, I approach the warehouse and saw couple of teenagers guarding the entrance of the building. While the guards weren't looking, I sprinted to the side of the building and hid behind the corner.

I listened to their conversation...

"Eric, do you think it would work? There's only four of us left and two are inside making sure Victor won't escape!"

"Yes it will work, James Dillon knows what he's doing there's no way he'll fuck it up, he's our god after all!"

"I guess you're right, he did told us that he communicated with the spirits of Harris and Kleboid, they chose him for a reason to carry on their legacy."

I wondered if they're really that retarded...

Carefully I waited until one of the went into the building for some reason, probably to discuss something with Dillon. I crept right behind the remaining guard, armed with a steering wheel lock I found right outside of the junk shop few weeks ago, I whacked him in the head to knock him out cold.

"Hey what's that noise?" someone yelled.

I ran back to hide behind the corner.

"Oh my god! Clay...wake up...wake up!" his friend yelled.

After a moment of a pause, I took a peek and saw another teenager placing his fingers on his arm.

"He's alive, someone knocked him out." he said.

"Could it be?" asked Eric.

"I think so, he did came...we'll need to be prepared!"

"You bastard, come out!"

I waited for a while and then...

"Eric, calm down, doing this won't make him out, we'll need to lure him in!" said the teenager.

"You're right, there's no way he'll abandon his friend, time to bring out Victor and hopefully he'll cooperate or otherwise...he's dead!" said Eric.

Angry, I came up to Eric from behind and whack him in the head with a steering wheel lock, knocking him unconscious.

"You you finally showed yourself, come on in Mr. Lau!" said the teenager.

I followed him and saw Victor tied up on a chair with a gag on his mouth.

Truth to be told, it looked a bit gay...

Jame Dillon shows up and said, "So Andrew, the time has come!"

"Let Victor go, he had nothing to do with this for the past month!" I said.

"I know, but seeing your face as I'm ready to kill your friend will be...enjoyable!" said Dillon as he begins to smile.

He pulled out a knife and started to head toward Victor as the teenager restrained me from behind, causing me to drop my weapon. I elbowed him several times, causing him to let go and I finished him off with a kick to the face. Afterward I picked up the steering wheel lock and seeing that I won't get to where Dillon's heading to in time, I punt the object and hits James Dillon's hand, knocking the knife off his hand.

"My hand...you son of a bitch!" he yelled and took off.

I was ready to chase him when the unnamed teenager got up and stood in my way.

After several punches to his face, I ran after Dillon but by the time I did so, he's nowhere to be found.

Posted by Idiot-Finder - August 14th, 2011

This afternoon at the park, I was walking by when I saw an egg roll on the ground right in front of a tree. I looked up and saw a poorly made cage hanging up supported by a rope that leads to a bush right next to the tree. After hearing someone sneezing from behind the bush, I shook my head and wonder if they're actually serious, not to mention what they were doing is racist.

I decided to wait for a bit just to see if someone came and pick it up.

A dog came and started to eat the egg roll when the idiot behind the bush let go the rope and drops the cage.

"I got him! I got hi-oh fuck!"

The dog growled and a second later you can guess what happened.

His friends ran off and abandoned him while I stood there wondering if I should help him.

"He had it coming anyway," I said to myself and left.

The next day I heard the kid is in the hospital with stable condition so he'll be okay. But then things gets weirder from here...

Someone dug a hole hole on a lawn in a neighborhood and covered it up with some branches and leaves. I don't know if there's anyone gullible to fall for this but I could tell the person to dug this isn't from this neighborhood, because when an old guy came out of the house, he saw the covered hole and start cursing. Guess these idiots should learn that one must never piss off an old guy by messing up his lawn, do that and you're dead.

I was curious to see if anyone of those idiots would come back to see if the trap worked so I went to the arcades to kill some time knowing it'll be awhile. Besides, if I stay there and wait, the old man would think it's me. After a bout with Pac man and Metal Slug, it's starting to get late and I returned to the neighborhood to see if something happened, surprisingly someone did fell but unsurprisingly, I heard someone screaming for help and I recognize the voice, it's one of the other idiots who tried to trap me a day before. The old guy's at home and judging by the look from the window, he's calling the police about a vandal (also helped that he was yelling and the window's open) who messed up his lawn.

You know, I was expecting to see the old man blowing the dude's head clean off with a shotgun, guess he calmed down.

I started to walk back to the motel when some dude on a bicycle came and stopped right in front of me.

"Hey, what's the big deal?" I said.

"I knew you'd be here, but didn't expect you not to fall into the trap...that fucking moron messed it up!" the bicyclist growled.

"I seriously doubt the trap would fool anyone expect for you guys, so I'm guessing there's a message for me from you guys right?"


He handed me a letter and rode off.

I open up the envelope and begin the read, it says:

To whom it may concern,

Andrew Lau, for sometime you have been a bane of our existence.

Ever since you joined our alliance, you have been sabotaging our efforts to seek revenge against those who have tormented us and even demeaned our reputation.

"As if they even had one from the start."

Before I continue to read the letter, I went to the lamp post and proceed.

We may not have as much members as we used to thanks to you and that traitor Victor, if only his cousin with the same name were here our alliance would have been much better. But the point is that you have mocked us and humiliated us and this is unforgivable. Now that you called the cops on us, all our weapons are gone so our previous plan have been put on hold...until we succeed in our next mission which is to kill you disgusting stinky poo poo head!

"What the?"

Ha ha ha!

How does it feel? I bet it hurts didn't ya?

Burned bitch! You got pwned!

There's more where that comes from but don't worry, we won't kill you and we won't attack you now or it won't be much fun.

We'll plan something big tomorrow and it will target you, we won't tell 'cuz it's a surprise...


Scared now aren't you? Well you should be because we will humiliate you like you have humiliated me!

I bet you're pissing yourself right now huh babby, cry for your mommy you ca ca brain!

"I think my brain cells are dying..."

I turn the letter over to read the rest of the message on the back.

We will own you faggot so die!

I hate you yellow man, go back to China!

I will kick your butt!

That's all!

Sincerely, James Dillon.

P.S: You suck!

The last part of the message was ad-nauseating, I mean is this guy really serious? Maybe I shouldn't have call the cops on them because those idiots would have hurt themselves instead of anyone in the school.

I looked up into the sky and could barely see stars due to light pollution. I wished that I could see the stars for once, I always wanted to see if the could spot Polaris so that way I can know if it's possible to use it as a guide.

Anyway, I decided to head back when someone came right in front of me and placed his hands on his hips.

"What now?" I groaned.

"It's been a while you filthy Giants fan..." he said.

"Wait a minute...do I know you?"

I tried to recall who this guy is to no avail.

"Very funny," he said.

He takes out a knife and continued, "I have been waiting for this day, what you did in San Diego will never be forgiven!"

Then it hits me!

"Wait a minute, it rings a bell...where have you been?" I said.

"Few months ago you said that you beat up a mime who took over a village in New Zealand so I went there to see for myself," he said.

I took out a small bad of popcorn and continued to listen.

"But then when I got there, I remember that you said that the village was somewhere near Auckland but I don't know exactly where so when I tried to find the place...I got lost for a while," he continued.

"Really? For how long?" I asked.

"Didn't keep track so I don't know, ended up in a jungle and got attacked by monkeys..."

While listening to his story, I took out a can of Pepsi and said, "What happened after that?"

"I blacked out for a while...I think they gang-raped me...it's still sore..." he said.

After stopping for few minutes, the Chargers fan then proceed to carry on with his story about his journey in New Zealand.

"After countless days and nights and nights and days...I finally rediscover the civilization back in Auckland, I was going to give up searching for that village you told me about because you never told me the exact direction!" he yelled.

"Hey don't blame me, I stumbled into the village after wandering around, except it took me few hours and it wasn't that far from the city, not to mention I didn't even need to wander into the jungle to get attacked by monkeys like an idiot you are!" I said.

After ticking him off for a bit, the Chargers fan then said, "I asked around in the city about the village and the evil mime but everyone looked at me like I'm on drugs but one day...I finally struck gold!"

"Really?" I said.

"Yeah, I ran into one of the villagers who happens to be in the city and he took me there, even told me about the evil mime and how he was defeated!"

"See? Told you I'm not lying!"

"But then what I saw was disgusting, you're a hero in this village and whenever I talked bad about you, they tried to kill me!" he growled.

"Serves you right!" I laughed.

"You're beneath me!" he yelled.

"I crapped bigger than you!" I said.

He tried to punch me but I grabbed his arm and flipped him over.

"What the...what did you do?" he screamed.

"Saw it on T.V., it looked cool so I practiced for a bit," I yawned.

Then I continued, "It's getting late, if you want to continue let's do this tomorrow."

The Chargers fan got up and said, "Okay, we'll fight tomorrow and this time I will kick your ass!"

Then he ran off.

Posted by Idiot-Finder - August 12th, 2011

Wondering where the guys have gone to, I decided to check out the old warehouse hoping that maybe some of them were having a meeting of some kind despite Victor's disappearance. Sure enough there are some noise coming from the building. After going through couple of non-related events from the past months, I grew cautious and took at peek at the warehouse room just to see what was going on at that point.

"...since then I'm going to find that bastard for humiliating me and once I do, I will fucking kill him!"

I carefully went to take a look at the speaker and it's James Dillon.

One of the audience then said, "But James, he was just trying to help us trap a bully, no one thought that you would ge-"

"Shut up! Because of him, I got raped by Ben Roethlisberger, I could even sleep because this!" screamed Dillon.

As I recalled, he did get raped, just "almost". At least now I know whom he's after, me!

"I'm going to get my revenge if that's the last thing I do, you asshole will listen to me and help me come up with plans of revenge!"

Then one of the people stood up and said, "No thanks, Andrew's a good guy and besides, it's getting late and I have to get home!"

"Same here,"

"My favorite show on Spike is on, I don't want to miss it!"

I quickly hid behind the side of the building as some of the people went to leave the building.

I went to take a look again and notice there's still some people left in the building.

One of them said, "Forget them James, we'll help you deal with this asshole!"

"Yeah, he's as bad as those jocks, I bet he's one of them!"

Then James motion the crowd to silence and said, "I agreed with you, ever since Andrew Lau came in, all he have been doing is mocking us, half-assed and even sabotaged everything we have been trying to do, we will find him and make sure that he will pay!"

Sabotaged? Really? With the way things are planned, these idiots have sabotaged themselves with their own stupidity. After James Dillon finished making a speech that was a reminiscent of Adolf Hitler's speech and the time when Howard Dean came to my history class as a substitute teacher in high school.

Once their meeting is over, I quietly followed Dillon and few of his friends into his house where I would hid right behind a sofa as one of them looked behind.

"Hey Eric, what's wrong?" one of his friends asked.

"Nothing Clay, I thought I heard someone following us..." he said.

"Oh, it's probably a raccoon, one of them crawled into my house one time, had to call my cousin to kill the damn thing," said Dillon.

They all went upstairs and I decided that it's best to stay hidden so I went to check the basement instead. There I found several piles of porno and none of them are good, trust me I checked most of them and they're pretty lame. Before I could start wondering about Dillon's parents and why would their house have a basement filled with pornography, I heard someone coming down so I dove into one of the large piles and hid. As I lay inside the pile, I could hear those two kids talking to each other about something and to sum up what they said, one of them told the other to guard the pile while the others will go out to get something to eat. But then again with magazines all over my head, I could barely hear what they were saying so I could be wrong.

I waited for sometime and then once I removed one of the magazine from my face, I could see a teenager sitting on a couch facing away from me bobbing his head. Knowing that he's listening to his Walkman, I thought this is a perfect chance to escape without him hearing a sound. But then once I got out, he took off the headphone, turn his head and before he could say anything, I clocked him in the head to knock him unconscious. Quickly I ran upstairs to the living room where I then decided to check out the bedroom and saw a box filled with weapons!

This is much more dangerous than the time I went to Boston wearing a Yankee cap.

I took the opportunity to call the police and whatever news media available at the time and stole one of the handguns for myself. The next day there's a news about a house being searched by the police and a cache of weapons have been found. A high school student who was found "sleeping" in the basement full of porns was found and detained for questioning. James Dillon's parents were also taken by the police for questioning and their son however...disappeared!

It's easy to understand why, I mean when a police finds weapons in your home, you would have to be a massive idiot to go back.

Later that day, I saw one of the people with James Dillon looking at me and made a throat slashing gesture. Not sure what was going on, I thought he challenged me to a sign language contest, too bad I don't know any sign language so I used some of the signs I knew. For my turn, I punched my hand, point my finger right at him and then I pointed up.

He gave me a weird look and made a gun gesture toward me.

In response, I made gestures that Bruce Lee used.

Annoyed, the kid flips me off.

With one more trick up my sleeve, I copied the entire dance sequence by John Travolta in "Saturday Night Fever".

Confused, the kid walks away.

"What's with him?" I asked the guy next to me.

"What's with him? What's with you?" he said.

Remembering something, I went to the neighborhood and found one of the guns that was kicked off of my hands. The other however was smashed up, what a powerful kick. Then I took my time stretching in the park and ran around a bit. Then came nightfall where I ran into a mugger who points a switch blade at me and said, "Give me your money and no one gets hurt!"

I took out one of my handguns and points it right at his face.

"Never bring a knife to a gun fight!"

He pissed himself and ran.

Next morning, I went to look for Victor since something's up with Dillon's plan to get his revenge on me and I figured that maybe he'll help me with something. Maybe he could try to reason with Dillon and convince him to turn himself in. After spending some time waiting right outside the school building, I ran into one of my friends from the warehouse and he said, "What the hell are you doing out here?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"After the cops raided James Dillon's house, he and his friends went on a hunt to find you!"

"Really? That bad? How did you know?"

"One of them asked me about your whereabouts, you need to hide for a while until the whole thin blows over!"

Then remembering what I'm here for, I asked him about Victor's whereabout.

"He's back in his home, he didn't have to take the summer classes so..."

"Where can I find his home? I need to ask him something," I said.

He told me where I can find him and then I made a visit.

Victor opens the door and was surprised to see me.

"Hey Andrew, how did you find me here?" he said.

"Your friend told me, I have a question to ask, if someone tries to kill you, what would you do?"

"What happened?"

I explained everything to him and then he offered to let me hide in his home for a while, especially since his parents are away on a business trip they won't know about the unexpected guest. His older sister is away in college and his younger sister was missing for some reason, he told me that she complained about some contract few days prior. Remembering a show I watched few months ago, I laughed for a bit, maybe it's just a coincidence.

Then he said, "I'm not surprised that James Dillon wanted to kill you, especially after what you did to him."

"So what do you think he's up to now that his weapons are gone?" I asked.

"I don't know, whatever he's planning, you should be careful,"

I was ready to leave when he said, "You should hide for a bit, as far as I know, they might come after you,"

"It's okay, I already have a place and besides, did you hear about the principal?" I said.

"Yeah, I saw it on the news, thanks...I guess..."