As he enters the prison cell, in the dark corner someone lurks. As soon as the guards lock the cell, he remembers how it all started. A day before he was sitting in front of his computer making a threat that he'll torch the school he goes to, reason was never stated. What he didn't count on is that his threat was taken seriously and as a result, he was nabbed before he can go through with is plan. Now that poor fool finds himself in a prison cell and is wondering what will happen when...

"I never seen you around, new?"

Shakened, Tom turns around and said "Who's there?"

A huge imposing figure emerge from the dark and he puts his hands on Tom's head

"Get the fuck away from me!" Tom yells as he backs away

"C'mon, you'll like it bitch!" as the huge black man walks towards Tom

"Please don't...stay away..." the nitwit stammers before blacking out

After several hours, Tom wakes up and finds himself back in his room. Happy to be back home he screams "It's all a dream!" and runs across the hall yelling "It's all a dream!!!"

"Thomas calm down, what dream?" his mother ask after calming him down

After explaining what happen and how he got caught, his mother then smiles a satanic smile "Oh, so that's what happen"

Frightened, Tom said "Mom, are you okay?"

"No, the truth is what happened isn't a dream"

"W-what do you mean?"

"You are not home, in fact this is a dream"

Moments later Tom wakes up and notice that he's back in his cell, he is on his hand with his cell mate asleep next to him. Fearing the worse, he tries to get up but then he notice something is stuck in his ass, more he tried his cell mate begins to wake. Knowing this he stops and begins to weep silently in the dark cell in the middle of the night.

Hearing this, the black guy wakes up and said "All you alright?"

"I want my mommy, newgrounds, and..." before breaking down as he proceeds to vomit all the cum from his mouth

"Calm down kid, I wish I could quit you"

After vomiting all the cum, Tom stammers "So do I"

A prison guard walks by and said "Bloody gay and I oughta retire" before finishing off his bottle of brandy.

Then the next morning, the twosome are wide awake in which the black guy is mounting him from behind.

"Please stop, I'm begging you!" Tom cries

"Not until you return my affection" his inmate said

"Why Rig? Why can't you bail me out?" Tom screams remembering just before he was sent to the prison cell, he made a call to Rig days before

"Rig? About what happened...I wasn't really going to do i-"

"Not going to do it? If that's the case then don't create a thread bragging about burning down the fucking school you dumb fuck!" Rig yelled before he hung up

After remembering the call, Tom begins to cry as the inmate comforts him and gives him a kiss on the forehead

Amid the sobs, Tom then said "T-thank you, I love you..."

Unfortunately one day a tragedy strikes which would leave Tom heartbroken for the rest of his life.

Right now I'm writing this on one of Chris Beer's wireless laptop I have stolen, no idea how he can afford all of these (the one I stole didn't have his trashy contents so I cannot access his accounts, his clone never had the chance to use it before I destroyed him) but that's not the reason why I'm sending this message. It's weird but here's what happened.

Remember the Prior from Stargate SG-1? And I do not mean the pitcher the Cubs have destroyed with overuse. While on a journey in Puntland, just outside a village there's a prior who appears with a staff with a glowing stone on his staff.

I said "What do you want?"

"Convert to Origin or face the consequence" he said

"I already have a religion, not switching" I said

"Then you suffer" as he holds up a staff and the stone begins to glow

Remembering that episode, I raised up some of my supernatural power and slapped myself in the face, soon the stone explodes

"What...It..c-can't...be..." the prior collasped

"Okay, who send you and it can't be the Ori because they're long gone"

"I'll tell you" he growled

"Go on"

"It's a man named Chris Beer..."

Stunned I said "So what happen wasn't a coincidence, that bastard's here!"

"Not only that, he have cloned himself knowing someone will destroy him, it's a fail-safe plan to take over the portal...whatever that was"

"You're joking right? Human cloning's been outlawed, no way he can do th--"

"Not that you fool! He have researchers in Hong Kong helping him, the lab is connected to the black market selling illegal drugs made to improve performance"

"How many clones he made so far?"

"Countless, it's too late to stop him but you can still prevent him from producing more by destroying that la..." before kicking the bucket

I came up to his body and start shaking him saying "Dude wake up! Where is the lab!"

Then his body vanished

Disappointed I continue my way to an abandoned building to take a rest when I saw someone in there, decided to check it out something made me believe the prior's words...it's Chris Beer. The spamming faggot noticed and said "I'll kick your ass and will take over the portal one day!"

Then the fight starts with his laptop playing this on youtube. It's fitting since it describes the mood of the battle, that prick's surprisingly fast as he dodge all the punches I have thrown at him. Afterwards he land some cheap hits on me, pissed I picked up one of the discarded wooden planks on the ground and start beating him Portal Defenders style, even managed to juggle him several dozen times until I dropped the plank because my fingers got splinters (it really hurts, good thing I brought some supplies along).

"I had it!" Beer yells as he levitates into the air and said "I'll wipe you out!" before cupping his hands together

On the ground I did the same and we both yelled "Ka...me...ha...me...HA!" at the same time, I was surprised he learn that technique as well, how that happen?

I held back a bit to save some energy and was fortunate as his energy beam is weak, my 50% kamehameha obliterated him, but his last words before the blast devoured him was "I'm a clone, hahahaha..."

Anyway I called Coop (he's at the crime lab in Philly) about this and asked him to find the cloning lab and destroy it.

That was nearly three years ago, but that nut called "Xito" who is also happens to be one of the most notorious anti-American review troll in NG history have took it too far. I was looking for a flash game to play just to kill some time when I notice something on the bottom corner on my eye, a title of the review is "U AMERICUNTS!!!" by none other than Xito. It's one of the most abusive piece of crap I have ever seen, he's been doing that for years but this time...I decide to do something about it.

First thing I did was tracking that prick's IP address, afterwards I was able to find his location...Seattle (Ironically a Seahawk fan whose website was suspended for making 9/11 jokes would eventually fight me few years later). Because Seattle is thousands of miles away from New York, I knew there's a problem and was unsure what to do when something unexpected occured, Corey Lidle was trying to sell an old jetpack but no one's buying it. I came to him and said "How much for the jetpack?"

"Twenty dollars!" he said

Knowing I only have twelve dollars in my wallet, I counter "Five dollars!"

"Fuck no! Fifteen dollars will do!"

"Eight dollars"

"I'm not going any lower than twelve dollars!"

"Nine dollars"

"Ten dollars!"

"Deal!"

"...aw crap!"

After the deal was made, we parted ways and that's where it began as I revert to my old NG persona that have gone dormant since 2003, for a day I'm once again "xitosucks" which happens to be my original username. The jetpack's really fast, I got to Seattle in few minutes, no idea why Corey Lidle didn't want it anymore (Eventually found out why several months later...). Upon landing in Seattle, I went to the house where the IP address is located, there I waited.

I was ready to give up after few hours when suddenly a door burst open and out came a psycho strapped with what looked like bombs at first glance (turns out to be packs of frozen hotdogs) screaming "LALALALA JIHAD!!!"

I quickly charge right at him and headbutt that crud, soon afterwards I pushed him down and bodyslammed him. After I got up there's another Middle Eastern man running towards us, I thought he's one of Xito's associates and was trying to help him, not taking any chances I swung and clobbered my fist on to his face. After being knocked down, he got up and said "What the fuck was that for? I'm trying to help you!"

Not believing him for a second, I said "Really, seems to me that you're trying to stop me from finishing off that prick."

"Alright, forget it then...but it won't change my support for this country and I'll let everyone know!" as he walks away (Over a year later I realize that's cellardoor6, so much for that Middle Eastern stereotype eh?)

"Dakka dakka dakka jihad" Xito mumbles as he got up and tries to run

"No you don't!" I yelled giving chase

After running few blocks I stop to rest while Xito looks as if he's going to get away when he ran into the street, tripped and was flattened by a steamroller, that's the end of him.

I return to New York, the jetpack's great but it's also the last time I would use it due to extreme jet-lag that got me puking and feeling like crap for few days. That's nearly three years ago, right now I'm at the southern part of Somaliland near the border to Puntland, I'm planning to be more careful after my first attempt to sneak into Puntland ending with disaster when the people there attacked me by punting bombs at me, I was able to dodge them all but the heat caused me to hallucinate for a while which caused me to see Shane Lechter. I thought it was odd until the punter for the Oakland Raiders takes out an AK-47 yelling "ALLAH AKBAR!" which snapped me back to reality, fortunately I was able to escape back into Somaliland before it was too late.

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After that incident with a mechanical cat Doraemon, next morning I got up to enjoy the day. I took that mini-propeller, stuck it to my head and flew to what's left of Shea Stadium to see what was going on. After landing, I decided to have a tour for myself when a goofy looking mascot of the New York Mets came and confront me.

"Hey, you're not supposed to be here!" said Mr. Met

Noticing his enormous head, I said "Are you on steroids?"

"What if I am? What ya gonna do about punk?" he said as he shoves me

Angry at that stupid mascot's swelled up ego which happens to be a result of roid rage, I shoved him back

Angrily Mr. Met tries to beat me with a baseball bat, but however I caught the bat and disamed him. Soon afterwards I went and proceed to beat him to a bloody pulp until his head deflated to the point it became a regular sized baseball. After that I took a baseball off his body and some kid shows up asking me "Can I play?" thinking I'm a player for the Mets

"Sure, ya gotta bereave" I said

"Huh?"

"Nothing,"

After playing some catch, the kid became a brat screaming "You throw like a girl" (Truth to be told, I do have a weak throwing arm) and "Can't you go a day without dropping a ball, you suck!"

Annoyed, I said "Kid, go deep 'cause I'll show you something"

"What you sissy?" he said angrily while doing as told

There I punt the ball and amazingly it lined so far that it...hits someone's window, as the alarm rang I put the propeller back on my head and flew off

Some times later I was watching the news and saw the kid got arrested for breaking a window

Here's a footage of the executions taking place in China.

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/* */
What are you waiting for U.N? Stop this atrocity now!

Help yourself and post whatever comes to mind.

www.callyourplay.com

Anybody win something?

My final stat: 1 for 53

Post whatever comes to mind.

With the fact that Dumbledore's homosexuality is finally known, there could be bit of hints in the series that may have implied it such as these:

1) No mention of his love interest

2) "flamboyantly cut, plum velvet suit" in a flashback scene in HBP

3) His reaction when Harry told him that he said to Scrimgeor that he is Dumbledore's man " through and through "

If there's anymore hints you can find please post them.