- Age / Gender:
- 26, Male
- New York,NY
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I want the funky chicken.
- Community Stats
Level 60 Gamer
Ranked as Sup. Commander
Earl discover a room filled with a pile of skeletons and begins to dig them out to create a space for himself to sit down on.
"I sure hope these ain't bones of fags, but right now I should be safe, far from the living fags to try to have their way with me while I sleep." he thought.
After lying down, Earl begins to fall into a deep sleep and soon, the holier than thou member of the WBC finds himself in a unfamiliar setting. The surrounding seems depressing and Earl notices how the area looks somewhat...
"This place looks old, and the sinful place...bars..."
Then he notices a sign that reads, "Welcome to New Orleans!"
New Orleans? Last he remembered, he was resting in the catacombs in France!
What is he doing in a place that have been punished by God as an example for the nation's support of fags?
Then Earl realize that he's in a dream so he pinched himself, but nothing happened.
"Wait a minute, this can't be!"
He then pinches himself again with the same result.
Frightened by what happened (whatever that was), Earl runs around the city screaming and even slams his own head onto the wall in hopes of waking himself up to no avail. All seems hopeless when an elderly black man comes in and said, "Are you all right?"
Earl shakes his head and asked, "Are you a homosexual?"
The elderly man gave a confused look on his face and answers, "No, what give you that idea?"
"Nothing, just asking." said Earl.
"Maybe you are the homosexual since you asked me that question out of nowhere." the elderly man replied.
"NO I'M NOT A FAG!" Earl screamed.
"Calm down, I'm just saying since you brought this one up out of the blue."
"Never mind, I just don't like to be associated with...these kind of people."
"Really? That's a bit...forget it, this conversation isn't going to go well if we stay in this topic, so anyway, what is your name?" the elderly man asked.
Earl then sigh and said, "My name is Earl."
Just before he could ask the old man about his name, a somber jazz music begins to play. The two strangers turns to see a band slowly marching out from the block and in time, it turns out the band are followed by a crowd of people dressing in black while a casket is being carried. This surprises Earl as he had never seen a funeral march in New Orleans despite taking part in several funeral protests.
"Whose funeral is this?"
The elderly man turns his head toward Earl and smiles as he pulls out a switch blade.
The old man then stabs Earl in the side and not long after, the member of the WBC stumbles into the street in pain right in front of the funeral march. The people carrying the casket then heads toward Earls and places it onto him before picking it right back up. With the casket now containing the body, the funeral band change their tune to Rock Around The Clock by Bill Haley and the marchers begins to dance in celebration.
Meanwhile, over 40 years later and in the underground catacombs of Paris, Patty was hoping to find a restroom somewhere in the underground tourist attraction, only to realize that she got herself lost.
Patty was never much of a WBC fanatic, she only joined because many people she knew were members of the church and seen it as a popular thing to do at the time. Despite knowing little of what the purpose of their IRL trolling is, Patty took pride in taking part in demeaning demonstrations that led to them being reviled by many which unfortunately led to media coverage and fanfics.
At one point, Patty would even take things further just so she could impress her brethren by going as far as defecating on Freddie Mercury's grave. Even recently, in hopes of helping WBC to "regain credibility" since the Sasson fiasco by sending insulting e-mails toward Robin Williams' family members for starring in The Birdcage in 1996.
Just as she was heading toward a hallway that seems to lead to one of many rooms, a cloaked figure appears.
"Uh...who are you?" she asked.
The mysterious figure didn't answer.
"Whoever you are, stay back or I'll call the police!"
The cloaked figure then begins to move slowly toward her.
"Stay back, I'm not scared of you!"
Patty then summons enough courage to try to attack the cloaked figured, yanking the cloak right off to reveal a menacing black man in a voodoo ritual garment with a half painted face, it's Baron Samedi!
However, Patty have idea who he is.
As far as she knows, he's black and that's enough for her to try to run, only to slip on a discarded 7 UP bottle, causing her to fall and black out from the impact. After waking up, Patty found herself tied up while Baron Samedi makes his ritualistic dance, carrying a venomous snake. Once the woman's eyes begins to come around, she notice that they're not in the catacombs anymore, in fact...they're in the tropical setting.
Patty was too confused and frightened to say anything as the black man begins to move toward her while carrying a giant snake.
As the tension of the ritualistic music begins to rise, Baron Samedi laughs as he circles around the woman just before holding the serpent close enough to her neck that it bits her.
However, Patty died from fright before the venom begins to take effect.
Around the same time, the fifth member of the party, Keith was looking for any sightseers to terrorize as he figures that it would be the best way to kill time rather than having to waste it from sleeping in a dirty room filled with dusty bones.
Besides, scaring people is fun.
"This is even better than pissing people off on YouTube comments." he thought.
After picking up a skull, Keith went to seek out more unsuspecting victims to throw the object to for laughs when he notice a room with a bright orange light emitting. Not only that, as he crept closer to the room, it felt much warmer as well.
"I smell something burning." said Keith.
He then enters the room and to his surprise, there's a burning car right in front of him!
"What the fuck?"
What is it doing here? More importantly, why did somebody torched a perfectly good car?
Then the third question struck Keith like a hundred pound dumb bell thrown by a body builder.
Why does this car looked somewhat like the one had had before the accident?
Come to think of it, his car was destroyed in the accident in the same exact manner, aside from being inside the underground catacombs and all.
That's when Keith saw something that would jog his memory, an elderly homeless man appears inside the windshield, looking right directly at him.
"Wait a minute...I know you...I killed you!"
A year before, Keith was having a joy ride a month before his induction into the WBC. As it happened, he saw a homeless man standing on the sidewalk so with that, Keith slows down and stops, motioning the person to go ahead.
By the time the homeless made halfway across the street, Keith then steps on the gas pedal and hits the guy.
"Hahahahaha, suck on that!" he yelled.
But then he crashed the car into the nearby gas station.
Luckily for Keith, he was able to get out of the car in time before the gas leak made its way to the car as the sparks from the engine were shooting in every direction. Seconds afterward, the vehicle burst into flames and explodes, in time leading to an even larger explosion several minutes later, taking out the tire block, killing the gas attendant who fell asleep with his Walkman on at the time.
The were no witnesses so Keith was able to get away safely without the car he stole.
After staring at the burning car, Keith tries to away but suddenly, he was sucked into the vehicle and finds himself trapped inside as the homeless man he had killed said, "Now it's the three of us."
The gas station attendant got up and said, "That's right, now with the three of us together..." as he inserts the cassette into the car radio.
Young man, there's no need to feel down.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy.
Keith reaches for the handle, only for it to disappear just as he touches it.
However, nobody was there to hear him scream as the homeless man and the gas station attendant vanished into thin air. After opening his eyes, Keith finds himself all alone as the music have stopped as well.
But he's still trapped inside the flaming car and soon, the radio begins to play another song...
Me mind on fire, me soul on fire...
Feeling hot, hot, hot!
"OH GOD, THIS SONG IS GAYER THAN THE OTHER ONE!"
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