Months after suffering a humiliating defeat at the hands of some emo kid and his Mexican girlfriend, Facepalmer wanted nothing more than having a quiet time at lunch when something happened. While eating his Italian sausage, a wigger came and points his finger at his direction like an evil monkey. Figuring that he's probably pointing to someone else, he decides to ignore him. But then the wigger shouts, "Yo *Facepalmer's real name*, you pissed me off you fucking mofo, I bet I can kick yo ass ni-"

"Okay then, I'll fight you!" Facepalmer interrupts

"Meet me one hour after school, Imma busta cap in yo ass!" said the wigger

"One more thing, why the n-word? Someone will kick your ass for that and I'm not even black!"

"You're a playa hata!"

"What?"

"You hate me because I'm black!"

Everyone anime sweat-dropped...

Immediately after school, Facepalmer starts thinking up a strategy to beat up a stupid wigger in order to redeem himself once and for all when he bumped into someone. He looks up and to his surprise, it's Flozell Adams!

"Flozell Adams?"

"The one and only!"

"Can you help me? Please, please, please, please, please!"

"What for?"

"Some wigger challenged me to a fight and I-"

"Hold it! Do you said 'wigger'?"

"Yes"

"I'll help you kick this mofo's ass, but don't tell anyone that I'm involved in this"

"Deal!"

"Make sure you call your friends too, I'll need an alibi"

Then an hour later...

"Where's that cracka? Must have given up" said the wigger

Then Facepalmer shows up

"Who are you calling cracka?" he said

"You and I'm gonna fuck ya up!"

Then the wigger begins to charge at Facepalmer when Flozell Adams, the left-tackle of the Dallas Cowboys came and sticks his leg out, tripping the wigger in the process.

"OW! What the fuck just happened?"

Then every one of few of only Facepalmer's friends came along with Facepalmer himself came and surrounds the wigger, kicking the crap out of him.

"N-No fair..." said the wigger as he starts coughing blood

Facepalmer turns around and said "Thanks Flozell"

"Don't mention it" said Flozell Adams as he walks away

Then moments later the principal shows up

"What the hell's going on here?" he yells

"Oh crap, RUN!!!"

They all split up and ran for cover, but unfortunately some of Facepalmer's friends were caught. But despite the threats the principal gave them, they refused to tell him what really happened so Facepalmer is safe.

After returning home, Facepalmer stretch his arms and said "Man, what an epic day! I'll tell everyone on Newgrounds how cool I am, but they won't believe me if I told them about Flozell Adams and I made a promise not to tell so I'll just say it's a star from some high school"

Then he turns on the computer and logs into Newgrounds...

"Wait! I'll also tell them that I ditched the 1st period since cutting class is awesome and hardcore!"

Then he starts to type...

So last week, this white rap kid called ME out and wanted to fight me. So today, I planned a sneak attack. I knew he would be looking for me, so I ditched first period...

Yeah I stayed a little longer to watch the World Series, so what? The best part is that the Yankees won, one of the greatest moments of my life. Seeing the last out recorded on television at the motel room, I ran outside screaming "THE YANKEES WIN! THE YANKEES WIN!"

Then some asswipe came by and said "Shut up and the Yankee suck!"

"You take that back!"

"Why? Mariano Rivera cheats, he use spit ball"

Angered by such bullshit lie flung on my favorite player, I kicked that faggot...but didn't realized my strength and accidentally kicked him across the street.

"Oh well, he'll live"

Thankfully I ran into the Yankee territory (though small) in San Diego, they were celebrating. After spending some time there, I went to buy a can of 7up and drank it. After finishing the can, I started to feel bubbly...then I found myself prancing around, swing around the street lamp, and leaping over vehicles while singing the opening theme song of the South Park movie.

There's a bunch of birds in the sky

And some deers went running by!

Oh, the snow's pure and white on the earth rich and brown!

Just another Sunday morning in my quiet mountain town...

Someone yells "WTF?"

The sun is shining and the grass is green...under the three feet of snow I mean

This is a day hard to wear a frown

All the people stop and say 'hello'

"Shut the fuck up!"

Even though the temperature's low, it's a perfect Sunday morning in my quiet mountain to...

"Get out! Stop singing!"

"Asswipe" I said

As I walked away, I saw that idiot I kicked just across the street crying to several thugs...

"What happened? Are you okay?" one of the said

"Did a big scary man made fun of you?" the other said

"Y-yes" he sobbed

Then he saw me

"IT'S HIM!"

"This is getting lame"

Anyway I quickly dispatched them after few minutes and start walking toward the asswipe.

"P-please don't hurt me" he cried

"Say 'Mariano Rivera is the greatest closer in baseball'" I said

"No, Trev-"

"Say it!"

"M-Mariano Rivera is the greatest closer in baseball"

"Also he is not a cheater, if you see that uncut video the spit didn't hit the ball you fucking faggot!"

"Please don't kill me, I have three friends...kill them instead"

Then one of the thugs whom I have beaten up said "What?!"

I walk away as the thugs came upon on that idiot and proceeds to beat him up. Right now I gotta go, later the certain football game will start and it gets dangerous...

No matter what the results are, the Charger fans will be out for my blood. I'll leave in the morning by foot, good thing I didn't have any luggage as i shipped them to my home when i was in New Zealand, wish me luck!

Right now I'll get some rest and hopefully I won't wake up too late...

Well I got back after few weeks, would've got there sooner if the ship haven't been making all those stops at the islands in the Pacific. Right now I'm staying at the motel for few days until I can finally get the sea-sickness out of my system. While on my way out of the ship, I realize I'm at San Diego!

Once I got out into the street several Charger fans starts pointing at me and made loud screeching noise.

"What the?"

Soon they start chasing me until I've finally lost them. Then as I was walking along, as usual someone's following me. It wasn't surprising since I'm still in San Diego so I turn around and said "You better leave if you don't want to get hurt"

"It's been a while"

"Do I know you?"

"You may not recognize me as I live on through this arm"

Then he shows he left arm...

"Wait a minute..."

"That's right, after all our previous confrontations back in Hong Kong, I have waited for a perfect time for revenge..."

"How did you...you're dead, no way anyone coul--"

"Actually I have known someone from Japan, his name is Jail Scaglietti"

"Who? Jail Spaghetti?"

"Scaglietti, he's a wanted criminal in Japan, who was going to put my other arm as well until that golden haired magical bitch came and fucked up the whole thing, he's back on the run but I was able to take this body and fled"

"Why all this time? Couldn't you just move on? Besides the Chargers are doing well this year"

"You have humiliated me for all this time, I wanted revenge!"

"So what are you gonna do then?" I yawned

"Allow me to demonstrate"

He raise his left hand and fires a beam at the cement truck, soon he proceeds to lift it into the air before tossing it at my direction.

"WHOA!"

I jumped out of the way in time and fired my ki blast at the truck so he won't use it on me again.

"WHAT?! SINCE WHEN CAN YOU DO THAT?" Charger fan screams

"It started in Houston when I took on a Storm Front member, he's gone now and so will you...again"

Then suddenly the dude starts to struggle and his voice changes...

"...let...go...of...me..." he moans

Then he starts hitting himself with his left fist

"Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?"

Then the Charger fan regains control

"Just a minor inconvenience, now where was I?"

"You want to know how I blew up that truck you're gonna use to hit me with"

"I'll just use my powers to lift you then"

"You won't"

Then I proceed to beat the crap out of him before kicking him into garbage truck. Seeing that it's getting dark, I decide to find a place to stay for a bit when a soccer ball bounced right in front of me...

There's several kids at the part asking me to kick it back to them.

Instead I show off my skills by performing tricks and emulating Pele's trademark "bicycle kick"

"Wow cool!"

"How do you do that?"

"Can you teach me?"

The I stomp the ball flat before walking away laughing like a maniac as the kids starts to cry.

"Over-glorified kickball" I said to myself

After finally finding a place to stay, I turned to ESPN to see who's winning the first game of World Series. I saw the box score and the Yankees lost...

I open up the window and scream "F---" as it gets drowned out by the ship's blaring noise...

"Dude, watch your mouth!"

I remember that kid who blew up, what happened? I have been wondering for quite a while now, to make it worse I spotted Haggard few days ago, because the deadline have passed, you know what that means as well. That's right, Bahamut the asswipe send his men after me for doing my job which is friggin' stupid. Anyway, I went to the jungle to investigate since this is where I last seen this guy from days before. Moments later...

"FREEZE!"

I turned around and saw Haggard pointing a gun at me

"Drop the gun" I said

"No and what are you gonna do about it?" he said

Then suddenly a boomerang flew and knock his gun out of his hand before flying back to it's owner. It's that tourist I helped few days earlier!

"Crikey, what's going on mate?" he said

Then a figure appears in front of us.

"Wait a minute...I recognize that guy!" i said

'Who is he?" said Haggard

Then a tourists steps in and said "Don't worry mate, I'll oughta take him" before throwing his boomerang at him

But then the figure caught the boomerang and said "Nice toy, you can have it back" before throwing it back at the aussie

Then the boomerang dug into the tourist's chest and he said "Crik--" before the upper part of his body blows up.

We got out of the way in time.

"What the hell is that?" Haggard yelled

"That's Zolf Kimblee, the Crimson Alchemist!" I said

"Who?"

"That guy blows things up with his hands"

"Your kidding me right? How can..."

Then the ground was leveled and we were thrown several yards. After landing on a tree and fell off the branch into the greens, Haggard who also survived got up and said "How can anyone DO THAT?!"

"Ever heard of anime and manga series called 'Full Metal Alchemist'?" I said

"What?"

"Forget it, we have to be careful"

"Nonsense, I'll just...where's my gun?"

Then we remember how the gun was knocked out of his hand by a boomerang

"SHIT!"

But unfortunately, Kimblee heard that and said "So there you are"

"Dammit Haggard! Why did you have to yell that out for?" I said

"I was getting a bit worried, no fun if I kill you guys too quick" Kimblee laughs evilly

I reach into my jacket pocket (don't ask why I'm wearing a jacket in such a weather) hoping to find something that can help us, I found a hand grenade. I remember I didn't use that grenade back when I was trapped in Zombietown and it's my last one. Knowing I cannot use my super powers with Haggard watching, I came up with a plan.

"Haggard, listen I have a plan" I said

"What? It better be good, I'm already in deep shit because of you" said Haggard

After hiding for cover, we start discussing our plan to get out of this situation. Once the discussion have reach it's conclusion, Haggard then said "It better work, I haven't done cardio for years and I got man-boobs from all the crap i ate and drugs I took just to pass the time"

I pull out a pin and toss the hand grenade at the Crimson Alchemist, soon it lands right next to him.

"What the?"

Then there's a explosion...

"NOW!!!" I yelled

Then we proceed to run like hell

"FASTER, FASTER, FASTER!!!"

Soon we found our way out of the jungle

"FINALLY!!!"

After taking a breather, Haggard came and said "Thanks, but..."

"What?"

"I'm still gonna have to take you in"

"WHAT?!"

"Nothing personal, under order"

Then he takes out a taser

"Don't taze me bro!"

"That crap is getting old, just don't resist and I won't have to do this"

Quickly I kick the taser off his hand and proceed to flip him to the ground

"Sorry Hag, I'm not going to let you take me in"

"You bastard..."

"I know the rules, if I turn myself in, I'll get lesser charge than when someone turn me in"

"How did you know?"

"When I first sign in at 2002, I paid attention as well, even though I originally did so just to find Xito and beat him to a pulp"

"Didn't you slept through the introduction? I heard about that, there's no way you could've..."

"I did slept through most of it, not all of it"

Then I knock Haggard unconscious. Afterward I went back to the hotel which is almost empty due to having my stuff shipped back to my home in the U.S., I'm using the computer in this hotel room right now but soon I'll check out. Knowing they'll be expecting me to return via plane, I'm going to stow away in a ship to California, wish me luck!

Here's a recap of the events that have started in the late winter of 2008 to now:

------------------------------

Idiot-Finder: I have a confession to make, I took VGH...

EGB: We know, thumb injury right? As long you didn't abuse it...

IF: Um...yeah

*moments later*

IF: I have evidence that lists all the users who took them, here's a photo of Canseco with Dream-of-Duke's college logo...

gfoxcook: Damn!

*moments later*

IF: I'll take this files to...

Someone: *knocks IF unconscious*

IF: That came out of nowhere *blacks out*

------------------------------

IF: I know I screwed up but I'll get those reports back

The superior: *sarcastically* Sure

gfox: We'll all be waiting with baited breath to hear the results of your inquiries!

------------------------------

IF: Hey Brian NcMamee, you told me you got a lead

Brian NcMamee: I did, all I know is that Roman Polanski have the information regarding the stolen files

------------------------------

*In France*

IF: Now to find that troubled film maker...

9/11 truthers: Lets kick his ass *pointing at IF*

IF: WTF!

*pwn*

IF: Now that I kicked their asses, I'll...damn it! Where is Polanski?

------------------------------

*moments later*

IF: Finally, now to find a way to break into Polanski's home...

*few minutes later*

IF: *breaks into Polanski's house* Now to find...*finds a note*

Polanski's been kidnapped!!!

Sincerely, Saddam Hussein's bastard son

IF: Damn it!

------------------------------

IF: Polanski's been imprisoned at a gambling boat, because I don't have $500,000 required to get in, I'll have to find a reputated gambler to help me.

gfox: Alright, do the best you can

IF: Also my fantasy team just beat Chuckers and is now in the finals, probably won't win but I'll try to keep it close

gfox: You know you're paying for this call right?

------------------------------

*meanwhile*

chr0me: I'm gay!

Everyone: No one cares!

------------------------------

piglet: Now to troll NG...

IF: *knocks him down* Whoops, my bad

piglet: Wahhhhhhhh!!!

------------------------------

*skips certain event that doesn't make any sense*

------------------------------

*sometimes later*

IF: Now that I found where the God of Gamblers lives, I'll...

Bodyguard: *points gun at IF*

IF: *runs like hell*

------------------------------

Coop: I'm a student of that dude

IF: All this time? Do you realize how much trouble I have went through to find that guy and you're telling me just now?

------------------------------

*at the gambling boat*

Coop: Lol I'm pwning you on poker

Saddam's bastard son: WTF

*somewhere at the part of the ship*

IF: *brandishing a nunchuku made from plungers*

Henchmen: WTF

*pwn*

IF: Now that I pwned you, where's Polanski?

*back at the gambling room*

Coop: I win lol

Saddam's bastard son: *points gun at Coop* Die

IF: *throws ashtray to knock his gun off*

Saddam's bastard son: WTF

God of Gambler's bodyguard: I hijacked the ship!

Saddam's bastard son: Oh poopy, I'm screwed!

Polanski: I wanna go home...

IF: After you tell us about the stolen files and you can go, after all it's not like you're going to slip up by going to Switzerland where they finally catch you and ship you back to the U.S. right?

------------------------------

*back to the U.S.*

IF: So Polanski said it's in San Jose...I'm sure he meant the one in the U.S., not the one where "The-Wonder" was murdered by thugs.

*moments later*

IF: WTF, the thug just killed a cop, he's not getting away with this

*jumps into a bus*

IF: Freeze!

Thug: Oh poopy *takes hostage*

IF: *shoots him*

Thug: OW!

Hostage: Oh poopy I got heart attack...

IF: CALL THE AMBULANCE!!!

Hostage: Too late *dies*

IF: Aw man...

------------------------------

IF: Hey, a pineapple fished from under the sea

Livecorpse's ghost: Get down *knocks IF down as a bullet sails over his head*

IF: WTF

Livecorpse's ghost: kbye *disappears*

IF: WTF

------------------------------

IF: *picks up a receipt* Super HGH and meth were sold to some guy by the name of David Arias? Who is he?

Steroid dealers: Oh noes! Raid!

IF: I reported those drug dealers, now off to find voting drugs...

------------------------------

IF: *beating up Bud Selig* English motherfucker! English!

Bud Selig: No, no more please stop...

IF: *continues to kick the crap out of Bud Selig for being responsible for Wang's injury*

------------------------------

IF: *reads a note* Meet at 5? Could it be a trap? I'll go and check it out...

*at the park*

Thugs: *grabs IF by arm*

IF: WTF

Thugs: Were here to kick your ass!

*pwn*

IF: As you were saying? So where's the voting drugs?

Thugs: It's not here, we moved them to Hong Kong...

*later that night*

Jean Muggli: You're better than my ex-husband, I'll go out with you as I'm not after your money despite my reputation as a golddigger who swindles people for the lulz and plants false accusations on people

Alex Jones: You're my kind of girl

IF: *watching them* I won't warn him, that's for help spreading that conspiracy crap around, people are gullible idiots these days!

*even later*

Chupacabra: lol Imma suck yer goat

IF: *in the car* No way *runs that monster over*

*drove through a shanty town*

Police: Freeze!

IF: Oh poopy

------------------------------

*breaks out and takes hostage*

IF: Drive me to San Diego *pointing a gun at the guard*

------------------------------

*in San Diego*

Charger fan: *screaming at his girlfriend regarding her brother serving in war in Iraq* "YOUR BROTHER IS A BLOOD-THIRSTY MUR..."

Girlfriend: *smacks him in the face* I'm outta here *leaves the internet cafe*

Charger fan: *tries to follow her but a door swung and hits him in the face*

Everyone: LOL

Charger fan: I'll kill you one day!

*about few hours later*

Charger fans: *burning effigies of people including Bush* Burn!

IF: WTF, I'm calling FBI

Malachy: *arrives on a bus* Here's a plane ticket

IF: Kthanx

*much later*

Stupid kid: Weeee, I'll go hide in casket

IF: WTF, I'll go and warn him

Men from the crematorium: *came in and picks up the casket*

IF: WAIT!

Men from the crematorium: *takes out a taser* Bug off!

*stuns*

IF: WTF *recovers and chase*

Charger fans: *blocks IF's path*

IF: WTHM

Charger fans: YOU THINK THAT WAS FUNNY? YOU CALLED FBI ON US FOR BURNING EFFIGIES!!!

IF: Well you shouldn't done this in the first place considering the fact that any threat can get you into trouble

FBI: *fires tear gas*

IF: *escapes* Now to rescue that kid

Men from the crematorium: WTF you again?

*pwn*

IF: Now to...

Stupid kid: *burning*

IF: &^&^%$%^&&**(((*(*&^&^%%%#@$^&*^%$$^&&
%##%&%^&*&%&(((&^%$$##@#@#$$%@!@#$%#@@
$^^&^&%$##@#@%&**(&^%$$#%^^&^&%$$$%%^%
^&^%$%$^&^&^&*...

------------------------------

*in a plane*

IF: *sleeping*

*hijack happens*

IF: *wakes up* WTF

*pwn*

Hijackers: Ow...

Passengers: Lol we won

Freed pilots that weren't injured: Were in Somalia

Passengers: Oh poopy

*lands in the section where the Red Cross is at*

Passengers: Were safe!

IF: *gives a refugee kid Jolly Rancher*

*warlord comes*

Warlord: *sees a kid holding a western product and shoots him*

IF: *upset as he's partly responsible for what happened to the kid*

BigBadRon: You're banned! *holds up a banning paper*

Warlord: *shoots BBR in the face*

Everyone: ...

Warlord and his group: *leaves*

*the next day*

IF: *steals a vehicle to find the warlord to avenge the kid*

*encounters a villain*

IF: WTF

Villain: *knocks IF out*

------------------------------

*at the hospital after being moved to South Africa by the Red Cross*

IF: *escapes* On to Hong Kong

------------------------------

End of the first recap...

Alone in his dark cell, mightypotato was wondering what just happened. Few days earlier at his home watching the Food Channel, a doorbell rang. Wondering who could it be at this time as he was ready to go to bed, he got up and open the door. To his surprise it's a traveling salesman, not knowing how this could happen since this practice is now long out of date. The salesman reach into his pocket to take out an orb and said "I'm here to sell you this crystal ball, it can predict the future!"

With a blank look on his face, tater said "Does this thing predict that I'm going to slam the door in your face?"

"Um..."

Tater rudely slams the door on the salesman's face, breaking his nose in the process. After the salesman got up, he cursed loudly at mightypotato's house before leaving. About an hour later while brushing his teeth, doorbell rings. Annoyed, he quickly rinsed and ran downstairs to see who can it be at this time. As he opens the door expecting it to be that salesman, this time no one's here...

Stunned, he close the door and turns around where to his horror...there's a teenager pointing a dagger to his forehead. Tater saw his face and recognize who it is...

"Zacied?" he said

"That's right, ever since you have banned me for violating rights to post gay porn on Newgrounds, I went to join the Duck Division so I can exact my revenge!" said Zacied before breaking into his maniacal laughter

"No matter what you will do, I won't tell you anything about NG you bastard!"

"I knew that, I'm here to make you suffer eternal pain!"

Then mightypotato blacks out after getting hit from behind by one of Zacied's associates who also entered through the backdoor.

Now the ex-mod of Newgrounds found himself in a dark cell wondering where he is and will someone come to his rescue. The cell opens, Tater got up but he saw Zacied and Yenig grinning evilly at him.

"What do you want from me?" Tater said

"Did you forget? I want you to suffer!" said Zacied

"Yeah, suffer!" said Yenig

Soon they came up to him and beats him to a pulp. Afterward they proceed to drag him into the torture chamber where they hook him up with an electrical device.

"What are you doing" Tater groans

Zacied turns on the device and electrocutes Tater

"AAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"You like that? You like that bitch?" Zacied laughs

"Okay we should stop for now or we'll kill him" said Yenig

"Good point, that'll be too easy"

Then they unhook Tater and drags him back to his cell until the next morning...

Tater wakes up and saw Zacied's butt stretched in a way deemed impossible

"Feel the wrath of my goatse bitch!" said Zacied

Soon he takes a catatonic mightypotato to his office and rapes him. Once it's over he'll dunk his head into a tub of dirty water before breaking his arm.

"That's for banning me"

That night Tater sits in his cell with tears streaming down wondering if he'll ever going to be rescued as he have now been rendered a male version of broken bird. The next day Yenig went out for a vacation, leaving Zacied in control. There Zacied forced Tater to eat his feces and his own vomit at gunpoint before drugging him so he can rape him again. Soon Zacied takes out a taser and said "Want a shock of your life?"

The former mod couldn't answer as he froze in fear know what a former member of the Faggot-Federation's going to do to him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
!" Tater screams

"Shock yer balls, shock yer balls, shock yer balls..." Zacied sings

"N-no...no more...kill...me..." Tater begs as he starts coughing out blood

"You wish" said Zacied as he kicks him in the stomach

It gets worse the next day...

Tater was hung upside down with scorpions crawling all over his body for an hour. Zacied have an antidote to assure that he won't die just so he can make him suffer even more. Then next he tied Tater to a chair with his eyes forced open so he won't be able to close them in front of a television airing an Uwe Boll movie. Afterwards Zacied went on to taze mightypotato's nipples until they explodes, bits of blood splashed on his shirt.

"EWWWWWWWW!!!" said Zacied

It won't be until few weeks later that mightypotato was finally freed...only after enduring few weeks of brutal torment...

One morning I went to a tent just outside the park to meet a fortune teller. Yes there's a huge advertisement regarding that and I became curious. Once I went in...whoa, it's filled with awful smell similar to vitamins and pee. There's this hippie woman who looked no older than 30 and seemed to be under influence of marijuana. After smoking a bong, she takes out her crystal ball and hover her hands over it.

"I see something...I see darkness, all foul and dark..." she said

I got kinda worried a bit

"Now I see...you will kill a man named Trevor...horrifying pun...step on his corpse..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, why would I kill that guy, he haven't done anything wrong but refusing to watch the abridged series which caused him to miss the jokes" I said

"This is what I see unfortunately, also you will one day lead the rebellion in the other world, against newgrounds..."

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!"

"The crystal ball do not lie"

I start to freak out, according to her I'm going to do the opposite of what I stood for. That is until I heard this...

"You will ally with Dream-of-Duke"

"That's...improbable"

"You will kill the other you"

"That's unlikely"

"You will fight against Slash's demonic nemesis"

"What?"

"You will disrupt the meeting by storming the front..."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You will fight against super-Byte before escaping"

"You're just messing with me aren't you?"

But she ignored my question and continues to blurt out rubbish while continuing to stare at the crystal ball. Kids, this is the main reason why marijuana should not be legalized!

"You will assault a member of a feminist group..."

"That I would do"

"You will travel to space along with Mr. T and others to fight those evil invading aliens"

"Okay, if you're not taking this seriously I'm outta here" I said as I got up

"My crystal ball never lies..."

"Yeah sure"

"Also one day you will summon enough powers that you will be able to defeat the tyranny of the other world"

"Now I know you're full of crap"

Then I left and went back to the hotel where I start shipping my stuff back to the U.S. for one reason, deadline is approaching. I'll try to stay here past the deadline but to avoid arrest by Bahamut the ass-wipe, I'm not going to let my stuff get confiscated by a team he'll send. Good thing NEVR told me about this or I wouldn't have taken Bahamut's threat seriously. Anyway those predictions are ridiculous, c'mon, what are the odds? Next thing she'll be telling me is that the Mets will change their uniform color.

The odds of all New York Super Bowl is better than this and everyone know it'll never happen although I would love it to happen, but it won't unfortunately...

Then an hour after I checked out of the room that was fumigated, I received a phone call in the other room I'm currently staying at. I expected it to be one of those annoying telemarketers but instead...

"I know everything" said the fortune teller

"Where the hell did you get this number?" I said

"In the future, you will duel against a guitarist also named Slash on Guitar Hero, losing the first eight tries before finally winning in the ninth. You two will compete on a song called 'Reflex' by Duran Duran"

"You know you're paying for this call right?"

Then she hung up...

As Lawrence Taylor once hypocritically said, "Don't smoke crack!"

To beat an enemy, you'll have to know your enemy. To know your enemy...you'll have to be your enemy, that's the lesson of war. Having no idea when those Charger fans will strike, I sat on the floor in my second hotel room (I got charged for an extra room thanks to those bastards!) and concentrate. I start concentrating my energy on my eyes and then I start having vision where I'm looking from a view of a Charger fan. He's riding a motorcycle with another package and it has another ticking sound just like before, he's heading to the hotel again.

Quickly I got out and stood outside where he would then pass by so he won't be able to pull that same trick again, because he know I'm here. Sometimes later I head to his direction and came upon an abandoned warehouse. In the warehouse there are people talking amongst themselves, kinda like those people in that racist website, KKK gathering anyone? I know Dr. King isn't a saint but compare to those people, he is and will be a better person than they are. Now I'm drifting off topic and I'm not even black, just a old habit of mine.

"So he was standing outside, just wait until dusk then" one said

"Where you guys going?"

"To the restaurant, you stay"

After two of them left, the remaining Charger fan starts to mumble to himself.

"They always treat me like this, I can do it myself...I'll show them"

As he got on a motorcycle, I pick up a metal rod from a stack near the warehouse. As he starts to drive, I threw the rod and it jammed the wheel, causing it to flip which threw the rider off. Soon he lands right in front of a vehicle and the motorcycle them slid towards him until it pins him. Soon his helmet falls off and I recognize who it was...it's that same guy I fought several times including that card game tournament where I beat him. The fuel begins to leak and the flames appears from the sparks due to the motorcycle scraping on the street before it pins him.

"HELP!!!" he screams

Tears starts streaming down on his face. Feeling bad I got up to help him but then the ensuing explosion knocked me several feet back, that's when I realized it...he's gone.

"Oh crap" I said knowing the trouble I'm in

His cohorts arrives at the scene shortly after and saw the carnage.

"What the FUCK JUST HAPPENED?"

"I know, it's that Giants fan, he found our secret hideout"

"Should I call for reinforcements?"

"Not yet, that's what he'll expect us to do"

"Why are we doing this? We have nothing to do with this, it happened all because our leader's brother was killed by him with a fucking fruit!"

"I know, but some people back home now feared him, they even thinks he has a ability to destroy people with his mind"

"That's scary, I know I should've taken that job at McDonald's"

I was ready to sneak away when I stepped on a branch.

"What is that sound?"

"Wait! IT'S HIM! GET HIM!!!"

Quickly I ran like hell into the harbor where I hid in one of the docked ships that was abandoned for some reason. I climbed up the ladders to hide in the upper deck for a moment at those two Charger fans enters. Eventually they split and enters the room where I'm hiding at that point, a rat scampers across the room and he turns around to fire a shot. I got it, pressure is on him as he's way too alert so I threw a people and then he turns at where I threw it before opening fire twice. Then I sneezed but fortunately he turned to the wrong direction and fired three shots, depleting his ammo.

As he was reloading, I came up from behind and attacked him. Soon after wrestling him to the ground, I proceed to beat him to death. Now that's two down and one to go...

I got out of the ship and tries to start the motorcycle but had some trouble with the engine. The remaining Charger fan saw this and starts to get off the ship. Eventually I was able to start the damn thing and begins to drive away. I noticed the remaining enemy is pursuing me so I drove to the unfinished bridge in full speed where then I flew to the other side before falling off. The Charger fan made it as well but unfortunately for him...he overshot it and crash into a tree.

Copying Clint Eastwood's line from "Magnum Force", I said "A man's got to know his limitations."

Earlier this morning when I woke up at 2 a.m. I felt something crawling in my bed. I lift my blanket over and to my horror, it's a tarantula...the same one those hoodlums tried to send me before. I froze in terror as the giant arachnid crawls up my body. Soon it starts crawling on my face and stopped for a while. As sweats starts to flow out like that scene with Ted Striker from the movie "Airplane!", the spider finally left. Immediately I got up an knock the spider to the floor and I crushed it with a giant phone book.

Soon I went to the bathroom and starts to throw up, it's the most disgusting I have seen since Zacied's goatse when I went to rescue MightyPotato. Thanks to this I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night and I'm tired. Not to mention the fact that I'm still somewhat jittery from that high experience I got from accidentally inhaling weed a while ago.

So I got out early this time to confront those Charger fans once and for all...but then something happened. An Australian tourist came and asked me if I can take a picture of him in front of a harbor, I said "Alright".

After taking a picture, he thanked me and we parted on good terms. Then I went for a walk to the park to take a nap on a bench when I saw a kid stumbling toward me.

"Kid are you okay?" I said

Then a police officer came to the kid and said "Kid are you lost?"

Without answering, the kid fell and blew up like a bomb. The officer's dead and I was covered with what's left of the kid.

"What the..."

I saw someone running from the scene so I chased him. Unfortunately after few minutes or so the chase ends in the jungle where I lost him.

"Damn it!"

Who is that person? Why did he run from the scene? Did he have something to the exploding kid?

Then I have one more question...should I ignore the deadline and stay here for a little longer until Chris Beer is caught?

All I know is that I felt like as if my respiratory system have turned into a phlegm factory, lack of sleep can do that to you, especially in uncomfortable weather. As I was leaving, the police came and I answer all the questions they threw at me, soon I was taken to the hospital for an hour before being released. Being that I was near where the explosion happened not to mention being covered in gunk...so yeah. As I was walking my way back to the hotel, the manager came and told me that my room have been fumigated due to infestation from another package send to me. They were able to move my stuff out before it happened so I'll have to stay in another room.

He said "What did you do to upset someone enough to hurt you, it's one of the several times it happened"

Although I may not have any proof but I have good idea whom it might've been...

I'll get those bastards tomorrow...count on it!

Shortly after what happened yesterday, I went out again to look at the harbor. You know no matter how hard you'll try, your eyes will always follow a wave, I tried it myself and almost hurt my eyes. I went back to the hotel to call it a day, though not before checking the room to make sure it's safe ever since the incident with the Charger fans. Next morning I went to find the location to Chris Beer's whereabouts when I notice a steam coming from a nearby neighborhood. I went to take a look and saw that it's coming from someone's house.

I went for a closer look but then as I look into the window, a blast of smoke burst into my face and I breathed some of it in. I caught a glimpse of what was inside and saw group of hippies with one familiar face together smoking marijuana...come to think of it...it's a jungle in there. I got out of the way in time but unfortunately it's too late, soon I started to feel funny. I start having bit of a dizzy spell and took a rest on a bench staring at pigeons...no idea how long have I been doing this but sometimes later I grew hungry so I went to a local fast-food restaurant.

An hour later I went to check that house again but this time...no one here. They must have left to get something but the marijuana's gone too so I can't phone the police. Come to think of it, is marijuana legal in New Zealand?

Anyway, as I begin to make my way back to the hotel, I heard someone walking behind me. So I turn around and saw four people, I recognized them.

"Long time no see" cracked Zacied

"You will pay for what you did to Beaky" said dizmiz

"You may have beaten me twice, but this time revenge will be mine!" snarled DrForeman

"Dick neck?" I said

"Stop calling me dick neck!"

Then the most surprising of all...

"Jakka, dakka, dakka" said Xito

"Xito? But he's dead!" I said

"Actually we brought him back with dragon balls" said Zacied

"But he's been dead for over a year"

"No, when we rebuild him as a cyborg it counts as being alive"

"Then that means you found a way to get around it..."

"Bingo!"

Then Xito shouts "Allah ackbar!" and starts charging at me

Quickly, I took off a cellophane Yankee logo from a shirt I'm wearing and toss it at Xito. The anti-American review troll then got tangled up until the cellophane logo disappears. Stunned Zacied stood there in silence.

"What the fuck was that?" dick neck shouts

"That's the point you jerk" I said

Angrily dickneck stretch his head toward me but I kicked it back at him.

"Take that giraffe boy!"

Then dick neck got up and said "It's a lie, my dad is not a giraffe"

"What?"

"Truth is, back in college when I was sucking Lord Turnip's dick and there's a explosion..." he growled

Then he continued, "Turnip's dick came off and merged with my neck..."

I start busting out laughing

"YOU ARE DICK NECK!!!" I laughed

"Stop laughing at ME!!!" dick neck screams as he tries to attack me

But then I fired my ki blast to launch dick neck into the sky where he screams "Looks like the beast is blasting off again..." then the sky twinkles

Soon Zacied, dizmiz and Xito came together in which dizmiz said "We must combine our strength!"

They all levitated up into the air and were preparing to fire their beams at me. I dropped back like a quarterback and cupped my hands together on my right side to prepare my kamehameha. I fired that blast as soon as they fired theirs. Despite their combined power, I was able to overtake them fairly easily. Two got out of the way in time but Xito didn't and was obliterated in the blast.

"XITO, NO!!!" Zacied screams

After what was left of Xito rained down, Zacied points to me and screams "YOU BASTARD! BECAUSE OF YOU I COULDN'T DO GOATSE ANYMORE SINCE THAT DEBRIS FELL ON MY ASS!"

"That bad?" I said

"I HAVE BEEN SHITTING PANCAKES SINCE THEN AND IT HURTS WHEN I DID SO!!!" he screams as he picks up a bunch of sea stars the vendor's been selling at the harbor and threw them at me like shurikens.

I dodge them all like that scene from Spiderman, but like that scene one of the star fish managed to cut my right forearm.

"OW!"

Then Zacied took out a sword and starts to attack me in close combat. I used my supernatural power to slow down my perception of time, thus enabling me to dodge his swings more easily. Then I kicked him so hard that he flew through the entrance of a local restaurant where he later comes out with blood leaking out of his mouth. Seeing this, dizmiz starts reading my power level with his scouter.

Once the number stops, dizmiz became horrified.

"Hey Donovan, what did you scouter say about his power level?" said Zacied

Dizmiz takes off his scouter and breaks it yelling "IT'S ALMOST 2,000!!!"

"WHAT?! 2,000! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!"

Zacied tries to attack me again

"ZACIED WAIT!!!" dizmiz screams

It's too late, I kicked the sword out of exhausted Zacied's hand and knocked him down. Afterwards I concentrate my powers on Zacied by focusing my palms at him and picks him up into the air with my mind. Soon I drop his body into one of the ship's smoke stacks as it begins to sail.

"It's on" I said to dizmiz

Then a song from a nearby stereo starts to play...

I wake up with blood-shot eyes
Struggled to memorize
The way it felt between your thighs
Pleasure that made you cry
Feels so good to be bad
Not worth the aftermath, after that
After that
Try to get you back

"This is for Beaky" he said

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

"Listen that's was an accident! I was aiming that CD at you in self-defense!"

"That's no reason to broke into my home you bastard!"

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try
(Yeah)
So this is goodbye

"For the last time, your game suck!"

"It doesn't mean everyone else would hate it!"

God damn my spinning head
Decisions that made my bed
Now I must lay in it
And deal with things I left unsaid
I want to dive into you
Forget what you're going through
I get behind, make your move
Forget about the truth

"Yes they will, didn't you read the labels on the drugs you used? It enhances the difficulty level but also decreases the quality and the playability!"

"YOU'RE WRONG!!!"

He threw a punch but I blocked it

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

Soon I head-butted him, stumbling backwards he recovered and fired a palm blast at me but I deflected it right at the street lamp.

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye

"I'll just slap the sense into you" I said as I proceed to bitch-slap him

Then I punch him in the gut, knocking him down.

I've been here before
One day I'll wake up
And it won't hurt anymore
You caught me in a lie
I have no alibi
The words you say don't have a meaning
Cause

"I-I'm sorry Beaky...I c-couldn't av..." as he lose consciousness

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you
And I...and so this is goodbye

"What happened? You're one of the great flash artists but you have stooped low to join those lowlives..."

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye
So this is goodbye, yeah
(Oh no)

I called the ambulance and they picked him up just like that, hopefully he'll recover. Then as I made my way back to the hotel, I saw a cactus plant getting torched. I ran over to the hotel manager and ask him what was going on.

"I know you, that plant was mailed to your room but our men inspected it and there's something funny"

"I don't remember ordering that plant, what happened?"

"I called the local botanist and they send those agents to burn it, no idea why"

As the flame dies down, I came for a closer look and to my horror, inside the cactus are the charred remains of the spider known as the "Big T", I frozed.

Then I said "Who send it?"

"We have no idea, there's no return address on the package"

Then I heard a familiar tune nearby...

Soon the thugs on motorcycles drove away...