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Intermission #58: Fanfic Prototype (Kenshiro vs. Warren Sapp)

Posted by Idiot-Finder - January 12th, 2014


Kenshiro was on his way to the nearest village where Toki have been said to reside in when a massive black man wearing a shirt that reads #99 came up with an evil laugh.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! A new visitor, too bad you can never get past me as I used to play in the NFL!"

Kenshiro became interested and said, "Really? Then I'll be the first."

The thug became angry and said, "Don't you dare underestimate me, before the explosion, I was voted into the Hall of Fame and got paid to say what I want!"

The martial arts master cracks his fists and said, "I'll just have to test your ability then."

Angered by Kenshiro's remark, the former football star lunged toward the man and attempts to punch him, only to be stopped by a pair of fingers. Couldn't believe that his own fist have been stopped by a pair of fingers from a man who looked smaller than he is, the thug screamed and threw another punch only to have the same result.

"This can't be!"

Kenshiro struck the pressure points in both of the thug's hands, causing the fingers to contort to the point that they resemble bow ties. After waiting for the scream to stop, Kenshiro then said, "So tell me, who done this to you?"

Still growling, the thug refused to answer as he tries to head butt him, only to get dodged and hits his head onto a giant rock.

"Grrr..." he growled.

"You can't beat me, I was given the power by the being send by god!"

"Who?" Kenshiro asked.

"If you want to know, then beat me!" was the answer.

At this point, Kenshiro was beginning to doubt this man still have a trace of free will.

After dodging blow after blow, Kenshiro said once again, "Who done this to you? You will have to answer sooner or later as your life is running out!"

The poor sapp continues to try to assault him, only to have the same result over and over until he became tired.

"You can't beat me, with this power...no one can handle me!" the thug yelled.

Soon, both of his fists began to glow before bursting into flames.

"See? See this? If you're scared then it makes sense, touch this and you will be on fire as I claw you!" he laughed.

Kenshiro however was not amused as he cracks his fists once again and said, "How can you claw me with your fingers contorted like that?"

Angered by the remarks, the thug proceeds to do the same thing as before by trying to attack Kenshiro with his flaming hands. However, as before, the moves by the sap were effortlessly dodged by the successor of the legendary martial arts. Being that Kenshiro still haven't gotten the answer of who enhanced the strength of a thuggish ex-football star, he continues to dodge the assault until he gets an opportunity to question him once more.

After grabbing one of the arm, Kenshiro then breaks it, causing the thug to fall back and howl in pain.

"YOU BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO MY ARM? YOU GONNA PAY FOR THIS!" the thug screamed.

The martial arts master motions the thug to make his move and said, "Give it another shot, but your movements are slow to the point that I'm too tired to even yawn."

A vein starts to show on the thug's temple and was ready to burst when he let out a huge roar that can be heard from dozens of miles away. He struck Kenshiro in the face with his elbow but to no effect as the blow was taken without even a flinch. Immediately afterward, Kenshiro breaks the sap's other arm, causing the thug to let out another painful scream that can wake up the dead.

"It's over, just tell me the name of the person who did this to you and I'll make it quick." said Kenshiro.

However, the thug shook his head and roared, "NO!" before headbutting a giant boulder right next to him. Once the dust was cleared, the thug laughed as he sports shiny metallic spikes resembling a mohawk on his head.

"This is over for you little china man!" the thug grins as he attempts to headbutt his opponent, only to be stopped by a kick to the face.

"What is his name!" Kenshiro demanded.

"GRRR!" was the response.

After the thug made several jumps back to avoid a potential strike from his opponent, he lowers his head once again and yelled, "This time you won't be able to get out of my move alive!"

"Where have I heard that one before?" Kenshiro thought to himself.

After dodging the attack, Kenshiro then struck the thug in the chest with both fists.

MAN BOOBS EXPLODING STRIKE OF THE NORTH STAR!

"It's over, once I remove my fists, your time will be up."

The thug started to panic and said, "No...let me live, I beg of you..."

"Then tell me, who did this to you?" Kenshiro asked once more.

"Okay, I'll tell you...it was Toki." was the answer.

Kenshiro couldn't believe what he just heard.

"No really, who was it?"

The thug repeat the same answer, "Toki..."

"I know Toki, he wouldn't have done this despite what the rumors have been saying."

"No...it was Toki..."

Kenshiro lets go and begins to walk away.

"WAAAAAAAAAI-"


Comments

I checked wiki to familiarize myself with the two parties... very interesting, mixing these two. Makes me wonder if Sapp is a tragic figure.. I know I've acted badly too, out of a sense of pride for my work :\