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No Man's Land

Posted by Idiot-Finder - July 15th, 2013


"So you lost the bet and had to wade through the sewage for one hour?"

"Yeah, that's what happened." I lied.

"Why do you have to do something insanely stupid? You accepted a bet under this condition and lost despite it being a long shot to win...why the hell did you accept that bet!" yelled Peter.

"You know what? Forget it!" he grunted while spraying Febreze all over me and I coughed for a bit.

"Anyway, I send some people to Minneapolis to find information of the corporation you told us about, managed to retrieve a file and faxed it to me."

He gave me a copy of the file and I said, "So what's going on?"

"I don't know, it's all we got for now, it will take time but from what we know, they are preparing an eye drop like you said but there is something sinister behind this..." he said.

"So that's it then?" I said.

"What do you think?"

I looked around and said, "Where is everybody?"

"They need to take a break for now, the reason why I asked you to meet me is to let you know what your suspicions may be on target but we still can't determine whether it's behind the zombie invasion. If it is then something will have to be done in order to prevent it from becoming a full blown zombie apocalypse or the whole thing will be over." Peter answered.

I took a deep breath and sighed, "What do you think we should do to stop this?"

"Right now, we'll need more evidence to be certain, time will tell...as long not too much time passes," he said.

"You can say that again."

After that we part ways and agreed to meet again the next day.

Remembering what I have forgotten to do the day before, I went to the electronic store to buy some batteries and head on home where I would spend much of the time washing off the sewer smell and I might have used up few bar of soaps and half of the entire reservoir. It was tough dealing with the smell and while I did managed to wash it off, the stench would still remain in my nose for few more days. Afterward, the rest of the day was pretty uneventful as I watched TV and wasn't really paying much attention to the news as it was the same thing until it got to the report of members of the Westboro Baptist Church traveling to New York City and it was believed that they're planning to stage a protest.

But I knew their true intention...in fact one of them gave it away in the interview where she let it slip that, "An infidel have been waging war against us and we shall find him in this city!"

"What did this person do to deserve your church's attention?" the reporter asked.

"HE VIOLATED OUR BRETHREN, HE SHALL PAY!" was the answer.

I can see that the end isn't in sight, that's for certain.

The next day, we were playing Candy Land in the van by folding the seat down where the board game would be placed on top. After winning for the third time in the row, the amount of candies we gambled piled up on my side, causing some accusations that I was cheating. The accusations increased when I took the lead and was close to the finish line.

"That's not fair, there's no way you could have gotten lucky again!" Aaron yelled.

"Just because you didn't have a childhood it doesn't mean you should act like a twit over losing a board game for kids!" I said.

"You're cheating, that's the only reason why you're winning!" he said.

"If it's the case then why didn't I win the first time?" I asked.

"You were biding time,"

"What?"

"You didn't cheat the first time so no one would suspect you later on!"

I sighed and said, "If it makes you feel any better, after this match, I won't participate on the later games."

"Deal!" Aaron yelled.

Michelle turned to look at us and asked, "How old are you guys? Really!"

What a nosy woman.

Once the game was finished, as a part of the agreement, I with drew from further matches to make sure that the crybaby won't throw a hissy fit over a game he sucked at. I looked out the window and said, "You know, stakeouts usually happens during the night, not everyday that there would be one done during the day...doesn't this makes us a bit conspicuous?"

"We know, but the thing is that they're supposed to work during the night but with activities being heard outside this building, something was up and to make sure nobody suspects a thing, we parked in a location where people would believe we're waiting for something." said Peter.

"We are waiting for something." I said.

"They won't suspect that however, remember most of their most capable men are still in Minneapolis,"

Remembering what happened that time, I said, "Okay sure, why not?"

If that's the best they have, then the people the company have in this city must have been jokes!

Turns out it wouldn't be the case because the next day while watching the evening news, I would learn that Peter and few others were beaten into coma. It's believed that the robbery was involved but I knew better. To think that I was mad when Michelle came to my house that morning to tell me that I should stay home because they felt that the whole situation can be handled by themselves. I calmed down when she said that it has nothing to do with whether I could help or not, just that Peter felt I have done enough by giving him the information about the company back in Minneapolis and how they just received the fax from the spies he send.

"Are you sure about this? What if something went wrong?" I asked.

"It will be fine, we just need to report this to the police and the media so the whole thing will be exposed." she answered.

"I hope so, if things went wrong, I do-"

"It's okay, we'll be fine and you just need to relax, especially after wading in the sewer..." she laughed.

"Very funny," I said.

Turns out they're wrong and knowing this, I considered the possibility that some might have been taken hostage as well so I went to the shed to grab what I need to help.

But it turns out to be unnecessary, why?

You'll find out in the next chapter.

It's a good thing my parents are away for two weeks, they were hard on me for being away for all that time in my previous adventures...

After taking the several buses to reach the location where it happened, I prepared myself by making sure my pistol is loaded along with other things I felt might be needed in case it comes down to a certain scenario that could happen, though I didn't think one would occur. As suspected, only one man was guarding the entrance but I still went around to the back to see if there's a back door...which there is and it's unlocked!

But just as I was about to enter, the door swung open and hits me in the face.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

Before I could recover from the door slam to the face, a group of men ganged up on me and not long afterward, I was thrown out of the area.

"You better not come back or we'll call the police!"

Not willing to give up, I tried climbing through the open window...only to learn that it's a restroom window and a stall opened just when I got in. I fell right out of the window and hid behind the bush.

"What the hell? Who's looking through the window? Faggot..."

Then he shuts the window.

I tried the side entrance but it turns out that side of the building was still under construction.

I figured that having no time to lose, I went for it and immediately...I got lost. Inside was like an urban jungle in decay, some of the floors caved in and nearly fell on me, it's like starring in a Indiana Jones movie with an ending from the novel "My Sister's Keeper", it's that screwed up. Throughout the journey in the dark side of the innards of the building, I encountered some death traps and rats, but in the end I made my way into the building itself which made me wonder why they didn't fix the damn place yet? Can't believe they're still using that place, it's like the Deutsche Bank building that should have been torn long before 2011.

I quietly entered the room through the cupboard (I know), and fell to the kitchen floor where a chef looked at me for a minute before proceeding to do what he was doing, cooking frog legs.

"You should leave, it's distracting and I have no idea why you people never finished fixing the place." he said, thinking I'm one of the construction workers.

"I wonder the same thing," I said.

I left the kitchen and ordered a can of soda from the nearby vending machine before bumping into a security guard shortly afterward. He recognized me and before he could do anything, I pulled out a gun and points it right at his forehead. That's when we begin to exchange somewhat cliched dialogues where I would regret doing what I just done, here's why.

"You realize that there's no way you will be able to succeed whatever you're planning right?" he said.

"I know what your bosses are up to and no matter what happens...you didn't notice? You people are fucking inept!" I yelled.

"What are you talking about? You'll never succeed, after the break in recently we tightened up the security to make sure that there would be no escape in case it happens again!"

I frozed a bit and said, "There was a break in?"

"Yes, some of the documents were stolen and the people escaped into the van. We have no idea where they went so the company send some men after them, they should got to them by now." he said with a smug grin.

That's right, some of the members of Peter's group went in and took the documents so there was no need for me to break into the place...GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It gets worse after that, why?

He snapped his fingers and several people came out of hiding and surrounded us.

"As you can see, there's no way out so if you want to live, I suggest you to let me go and we'll simply call the police." he said.

Then it came to me.

"What if the people who took the documents turn them over to the police first?" I asked.

After minutes of silence, he said, "Damn it!"

"I'm more upset than you are with the way the Yankees are hitting right now." I said.

"What does this got to do with anything?" he asked.

"Everything!" I yelled.

"You're unbelievable, but either way it's over for you!"

He has a point, that dialogue did came out of nowhere but still...anyway, I looked around to see if there's something that can help me, anything...then I saw a table.

"How about we sit on the table?" I asked.

The security guard I held hostage said, "Getting desperate aren't you?"

Once we seated in front of each other by the table, the guard then said, "What are you up to?"

"Got two cups?" I asked while taking out a can of Coke.

"Okay?"

He gestures his men to bring in two small cups so we waited for minutes before they were placed onto the table.

I popped open the tab and pour the soda into each cup. Soon afterward, I took out a small packet of arsenic and turned around each time I pour the content into each cup before placing them back onto the table. I even made sure none of the guards surrounding us saw what I was doing.

"I get it now, but too bad I watched the movie Princess Bride as well and I know how it works."

"Care to explain?" I asked.

"It's simple, you're probably expecting me to agonize my decision so that way you can stall some time until something happens, but I'm sorry, deus ex machina doesn't apply to real life bud!" he answered.

"You can't blame me for trying and besides, if you back out then how would your men look at you?" I said.

He glared at me and said, "Fine, I'll play that little game of yours but in the end it will be you who made the wrong choice!"

I cracked my fingers and said, "We'll see."

So we sat there for over an hour when the head of the security guard said, "Aren't you making your move?"

I shook my head and said, "No, you're supposed to choose first!"

"Let's settle this, rock, paper, and scissor?"

"Best of 7?"

We started the game with several stalemates and I heard someone making a joke about the episode of The Regular Show regarding this and so on. I took the lead when I beat his scissor with my paper, but then he took the next two matches, leading 2-1. I was able to tie it by beating him on the fourth match with a scissor before hitting another series of stalemates.

I finally took control by leading 3-2, then we hit few more stalemates before taking the match at 6.

I exhaled and said, "Okay, now that's over with, time for you to make a decision."

Just as he was about to reach for the cup, the head of the security stopped and said, "Knowing full well that we both saw that movie, I know you're expecting me to stall for time by talking about how I would do this and that."

"How do you figure?" I asked.

"It's obvious isn't it? First I would agonize on making a decision and knowing that I won't back down in front of my men, I will have to pick out one of the two."

"What else?"

"Next, you will try to lead me into thinking that you poisoned both cups but I really doubt you would go that far? The only reason it worked in the movie is because Elwes' character developed immunity to poison, I really doubt you have."

"What made you think so?" I asked with a hint of apprehension.

The head of the security laughed and said, "Hear that? That tone in your voice is telling me that you only poisoned one cup, you have to be an idiot to do what Elwes did. Not only that, why else would you want me to choose first? It's because had you choose first, you would have picked the one that wasn't poisoned, thus giving it all away!"

I looked on without saying anything.

"As you can see, it's a matter of time before your plan goes awry!"

"But you still don't know which one is poisoned though." I said.

Then he stood silent and sat back down.

We waited for who knows how long because at that point I didn't bother to look at the clock. The head of the security eyed the cups and said, "What if you didn't poison the cups...no, the packet was empty..."

"Take your time." I said.

"You think you could get me to stall do you? Well, think again as I...er...nice try, you tried me to rush my decision so I could pick the wrong one but it's not going to work, nice attempt playing a mind game but it won't work!" he said.

"I'm still waiting for you to make your move."

"But that's the thing, after I would think you couldn't dare to poison both cups, I realize that you would think that I would think that you wouldn't go that far and did indeed poisoned both cups, a clever plan. But then again, you're probably expecting that so you poisoned only one cup and placed the harmless one on your side because it's likely that you believe that I would believe the harmless cup would be on my side and choose it."

"Is that all?" I sighed.

"Far from it, after you expected me to think that, it would turn out that the harmless one is in fact on your side while the poisoned one is on mine...wait! You would think I would think that do you? Think again, you're the fool as there's no way I would fall for that trick but then again...you could have known that I would think that and remembering what happened in that scene, you would expect me to trick you into looking the other way so I would switch the cups, landing my side the poisoned one instead..." he said.

My head started to grow dizzy.

"Are you done yet?" I said.

"No, in fact, I've figured it out!" he said triumphantly.

"Really?"

"Of course!"

I stretched my arms and said, "Please, do tell!"

"The packet you have, it's not poison is it? In fact, it's powdered sugar!" he yelled.

I jumped a bit before regaining my composure and said, "You really think so?"

He chuckled and said, "The tone in your voice confirms it! But your bluff is impressive as you were able to stall for hours but the game have to end."

"You still have to drink first." I said.

"Nice try, after making me believing that you would be foolish enough to poison even one of those cups, it's fair that we both drink it."

"Okay, fine then."

We both took the cup at the same time and the head of the security said, "Cheers!"

After downing the soda, I sat back and wait.

"What are you waiting for? Being that you could no longer stall for anymore time, it's the end for you!"

He pulled out a gun and pointed it at my face.

I smiled nervously and said, "Same for you..."

He began to breathe shallowly and soon his face started to turn pale.

I started to have difficulty breathing as well and soon, his men came to hold him up.

He glared at me and said, "Y-you...it can't be...you actually..."

I nodded.

"You...fool...you...really...did...it..."

"I know..." I wheezed.

Then I heard the commotion at the entrance just when I collapsed to the floor and begin to black out.


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