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I want the funky chicken.

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Don't Ask Me Why

Posted by Idiot-Finder - June 29th, 2013


"I'm not surprised, I was trying to warn you about Wong Chen, he did that before because he tends to fold at the worst possible time." said Peter.

"Is that why you're protecting that stupid asshole right now?" I asked.

"No, the truth is none of us have any idea where he is now but even then, he's adept in picking locks which helps us get the information we needed." he answered.

Then I said, "If that's the case, aside from his backstabbing cowardice, that would mean without him then no one will pick the lock to the glass house though now I rather be partnered with someone else."

"Yes but ever since we acquired a gadget that allows us to open any locks with ease, we had no need for him but we couldn't just kick him out, in fact he became insecure because of this, which is why he was willing to go with you before he fell apart."

Still feeling the aches on my body came from the beatings I took few days before, I said, "Still not feeling any sympathy for that twit, I'm still going to fucking kill him..."

"You'll have to wait in line." Peter sighed.

Thankfully, ever since the destruction of the glass house, the presense of the WBC members in New York have disappeared so we were able to begin our mission. But I wasn't allowed to take part in it as I wasn't in any shape to do so. What happened was that there's a suspicious activities reported in a small house near Canarsie Rockaway Parkway subway station.

I aways recognize the row of small houses near the station, often times the place would be infested with pigeons so it's generally unsafe to venture into this area without an umbrella.

"Why are they taking so long?"

"Probably because they're too busy scrubbing off the pigeon crap." I said.

"Shut up, seriously why are they taking so long?"

Then Peter said, "It takes time, if they get impatient, the operation may fall apart."

Yeah, the operation can fall apart alright, see that we're a bunch of wannabes led by a private investigator. All I know is that there is a good chance I might regret join them as something weird might turn up, but what?

It didn't take long for that question to be answered.

I heard someone yelling, "Enrique! David! Get out of there! The pink-eyed zombies...they're here!"

I looked out the window and saw a bunch of people walking toward the houses...they looked just like the ones I came across over a month before!

David and Enrique tried to escape but the zombies pulled them away and we had no choice but to drive away. Couple of people were mourning the loss and one of them got on my case for not crying over someone I hardly knew, I mean really. I was going to punch her in the face when someone came and pulled her away saying, "Don't be hard on him, it's not going to bring those two back!"

"Thank you hotel receptionist." I said.

"No need to, but it still doesn't changed what happened back in Minneapolis." said the receptionist.

"Also, stop calling hotel receptionist, my name is Michelle and I'm not telling you my last name in case you ask!" she continued.

As people in the van were discussion the red eye looking zombies, I start recounting the adventure I had in Minneapolis and suddenly, it hit me. The red eye...why does it sound familiar?

It's because of the incident I got myself involved in where a little girl with psychic powers was pursued by some members of a shady corporation hoping to experiment on her or something like that, truth to be told, it might have been a part of another project of theirs as I don't know the whole story. Maybe I should have asked her sister when the situation was resolved but if it's what I suspected, we're in for a big surprise.

"Are the zombies connected to 'Red Eye'?" I asked.

"Who is asking you, shut up!" someone yelled.

I looked around for the person who said that when Peter said, "The 'Red Eye'?"

"Yeah." I answered.

"You don't mean..."

I told him about the incident in Minneapolis and some of the people laughed, to be fair, it does sound weird and too ridiculous to be taken seriously. To further my point, one of the people said, "Oh come on Peter, you're not believing this crap do you? An ultimate eye drop?"

"No, actually he could be on to something." he said.

"What?!"

"We first met in Cleveland over a year ago, what happened was that we came across a strange event that seems irrational so I wouldn't be surprised if what Dennis said is true."

Couple of people begin to yell.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Just because you met him before you have to...gah!"

"Yeah seriously! This is pure bullshit! I'm getting out of there...stop the car!"

We had to restrain the idiot from opening the car door and I said, "There are zombies walking around, if you don't believe that something's up then you're fucking blind!"

He spat on me and I slammed his head right through the window before getting myself restrained in the process.

"Dennis, stop! He's not worth it!"

The van stopped and the idiot got off the vehicle.

I was given a tissue to wipe the spit off my face and said, "You know what? Let him go, if he gets pulled apart by a zombie like that stupid asshole in 'Shaun of the Dead', it's not my problem, he can go to hell for all I care!"

Some of the people helped calmed me down a bit but I was still upset because it was disgusting, who wants to get spat on? Especially in the face? I still remembered the time in elementary school when one of my classmates spit on me and some of them went into my mouth. The memory still haunts me to this very day so naturally, I'm not very forgiving to people who does that.

I even told them and one of them said, "Do you need to tell us? I don't want to hear that."

Few laughed but I was too tired to be mad anyway, besides it was late at that point and the zombies would return home. In one stop we made to refuel the van, I got off to get the newspaper to learn that the gas station was all out so I jogged a block to the deli and saw couple of zombies walking around the store. I picked up the newspaper and paid the deli owner when one of the zombies grabbed me by my shoulder and pointed to the empty shelf.

"Just wait a bit, Hostess products will be back." I said.

Then I left the store and returned to the van.

"Those guys doesn't seem bad." I said.

A man named Brian said, "Probably because there's only few of them at this time of night, remember many of them have to return home or otherwise they could get mugged."

"True but still, they seem docile unlike the ones we came across earlier..."

"That sounds interesting, maybe something is up...anyway can I have a look at the sports section real quick? I need to see who won the NBA Finals!"

Once the zombie invasion have subsided, we all return home and agreed to meet at a disclosed location few days later.


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