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Intermission #50: Somewhere in hell...

Posted by Idiot-Finder - April 19th, 2013


Somewhere in hell, Tamerlan Tsarnaev was buried in a steaming pool of manure all the way up to his neck when he wonder what just happened. Hours earlier, he and his brother we're planning to blow up the MIT building when a police officer caught them, causing the plan to go awry. Eventually, a shootout occurred and for some reason, Tamerlan stepped out of his car just before he and his brother made their escape when he felt a pain in his chest, causing him to fall over. His brother, Dzhokhar panicked and drove off, running over Tamerlan in the process.

Not long afterward, Tamerlan could feel his life fading as he slowly blacked out before finding himself in a inferno filled with moans of despair.

"What is this?" he cried.

A tall cat-like creature comes to him and said, "Welcome to hell my boy, I will show you the way so you'll know where you will stay for the duration of your eternity!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Tamerlan was then thrown into a pit and stayed there since then.

Spending time in a pit full of shit can drive anyone into deep depression but even then, Tamerlan looked around and saw several people in the same predicament, including the people who participated in the genocide in Rwanda, Al-Zarqawi, Ted Bundy, Adolf Hitler, and countless others!

In the end, there's nothing the dead Boston bomber can do as he's now in deep shit.

Meanwhile back on Earth, the members of the Westboro Baptist Church are celebrating the tragic event in Boston in which the deranged pastor Fred Phelps said, "Rejoice my brethen, as those enablers of fags are being punished for their crimes against humanity!"

His followers cheers as each of them raise their right arm to salute the day of joy just moments before their pastor does the same.

"Those two young men were send by god to punish those sinful people of Earth and for that, we shall declare them as saints!"


Comments

Funny thing... a buddy of mine say Islamic folk slaughter sheep on Ramadan. When he lived in France (in the 70's), they'd bring them into their apartments for slaughter, scared the shit out of the new tenants. But I guess, after learning how to butcher meat, anyone can apply that same skill to people.
Maybe that's why violence has dropped off so much in the modern age, where burgers are bought, and not made O_o Wars, on the other hand, are about control, and after they're done, weaponized people are afoot.

Pico Day was the sanest event I've been to in a while... glad I missed the news this weekend! Leave this story up; I'm sure a new twist will rear it's ugly head in the news again :) No matter how good a writer we think we are, reality always kicks it up a notch!

<a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/magazine/news/20130429/jason-collins-gay-nba-player/#ixzz2RrlL4ygo">http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/magazine/news /20130429/jason-collins-gay-nba-player/#ixzz2R rlL4ygo</a> I hate to be proved right, mostly.

I think you're being mean to the pile of shit. It didn't deserve to spend time with monsters.

I think you're being mean to the pile of shit. It didn't deserve to spend time with monsters.

Lol, maybe.