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Age 36, Male

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Intermission #49: Most Convoluted Piece of Crap Ever Written!!!

Posted by Idiot-Finder - April 5th, 2013


Little Johnny spend much of his life in school knowing nothing but pain inflicted by the bullies due to their sadistic tendencies. Each day the methods the bullies use would range from annoying to painful, seen as harmless by the eyes of the school principal to a "nusiance that should be ignored and they'll go away". Each day nothing was done and the bullies starts beating the poor kid to a pulp for "squealing" on them. Little Johnny would begin to lose hope when a black guy shows up and said, "Yo kid, are you alright?"

He looked up and said, "No...bullies are mean to me and no one in the school want to help me...I don't want to live!"

The stranger slaps him and said, "What are you? A girl? You need to stand up for yourself and forget the crappy rule that the schools has for a while to protect bullies."

Johnny nodded and said, "But what if they beat me up even worse?"

The stranger gives him a card and said, "Just chant 'Rice' three times and I will come!" as he walks away.

"Huh?"

The next day, the bullies were pummeling Johnny even worse than before because someone "ratted" them out for smoking in the hallway and they assumed it was him. After using Johnny's head as an ash tray, the kid took out a card and said "Rice" three times...but nothing happened!

"Who are you talking to? Your imaginary friend?" one of the bullies laughed.

Then suddenly, the bully started to scream as his head was crushed like an egg.

The rest of the bullies backed off and one of them screamed, "RAY RICE?!"

Ray Rice is a star runningback for the Baltimore Feathered Browns and was celebrating his team's Super Bowl win when he learned of a bullied victim who was beaten to coma and ultimately passed away. Since then, Rice vowed that actions will be taken against bullies so kids can go to school and learn in peace (well, except for the bullies).

"Damn you Ray Rice, how dare you getting in our way?" one of the bullies yelled.

"I can't stand a jock like you foiling our plans!" the other yelled.

Ray Rice grinned and said, "I did say that actions will be taken and this time it's not going to be a cheap two day suspension by that soft ass principal of yours...it's time for you to know the pain you have been dishing!" as his flaming red aura burst out of nowhere.

Johnny looked up from the ground and had no idea what just happened, it seems that Ray Rice just powered up!

"T-this can't be!"

"SSJ GOD? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT?"

The bullies didn't have the time to wonder how Rice has a saiyan heritage let alone pulling off the feat without a help from five other saiyans to fill the requirement to unlock the god mode as they were massacred, not a single cell of them would remain.

The SSJG football player would help Johnny up and said, "You okay kid?"

"Yes, thanks sir...but why didn't you use that form in the previous playoff games?" the kid asked before getting his head flicked off.

"Shut the fuck up kid!"


Comments

Some days you feel like a nut, others, you don't. Life doesn't have absolutes, it has moods.
Nice story, fell right into it.

Waaaaat lol