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Intermission #39: Major League Umpires 2012

Posted by Idiot-Finder - October 24th, 2012


One day, I went to Game Stop and rented a latest sports game called, "Major League Umpires 2012" with a tagline written "Blowing one call at a time!"

I thought it looked interesting so I decided to give it a try.

Well, the game started off with a intro in which an umpire was show lowing a call on first base and soon, the manager came and argued the call only to get thrown out in the end. Then the menu appears and I chose "Start" in which it led to the selection screen with three umpires and six that are still unlocked.

I had to decide between Angel Hernandez, Jerry Meals, and C.B. Bucknor.

I chose Hernandez and then the game begins.

There's a selection box in which I have three technique to choose from, kinda like Pokemon. The techniques are "Shrinking strike zone", "Randomly changing strike zone", and "German surplex".

I chose the German surplex and then Hernandez used a wrestling move on the batter, afterward the umpire got thrown out and it was game over...so I had to start over.

I start off with "Randomly changing strike zone" and I learned that for balls and strikes each calls missed, I get five points. For the calls that were done accurately, two points were deducted. By the end of the inning, I scored 33 points and for the next, scored 27 points, the next...41 points. However, it didn't become exciting until the part where the runner ran to the home plate and I was given 5 seconds to make a call.

"Out or Safe?"

I chose "Out" and got it wrong, bagging me a whopping 20 points!

Then the manager came out from the dugout and "CHALLENGE!" appears in the screen. The whole thing turns into something out of Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter as the umpire and the manager where about to square off.

ROUND ONE, FIGHT!

The manager fires an energy blast and I had no idea what the hell I was supposed to do because I didn't bother to read the instructions...so I start mashing the buttons and the umpire's HP started to run low from all the hits he took. I was pressing random buttons on the controller and by a sheer stroke of luck, I unlocked a special technique where the umpire teleports and appears right behind the manager before grabbing him from behind in full nelson and jumped into the air, out of the screen where they would disappear for few seconds before slamming head first to the ground. It took out much of the HP from the manager's health bar and with a series of slight jabs, I was able to win the first round.

Then came round two...

Because I unlocked the special move by mistake, I didn't know what I was supposed to do and so...I got creamed. On the third round, I tried to use the only move I know which is jab and was able to take out quarter of the manager's HP from the health bar, but you can guess how that worked out in the end. It didn't go well in the fourth round either and then not long afterward, it was game over.

I became frustrated and gave up for the day.

The next day I gave the game another shot and made sure to read the instructions carefully, after that I knew what I'm supposed to do. I chose C.B. Bucknor and went with the "shrinking strike zone" technique which shrunk the strike zone to the probable size of Barry Bonds' testicles. It took about an hour before the first inning finally came to an end in which I scored 520 points!

However, I wasn't able to get the runner scoring call wrong which factored in the long inning as well, oh well. By the fifth inning, I scored nearly three thousand points and I finally got the call at the plate wrong and then the manager came out for a challenge. I quickly press the buttons in the right sequence and then the umpire starts pelting the manager with flurry of rapid fisticuffs, slowly taking down the poor man's health bar until it was nearly empty. I was able to finish him off with a powerful kick and that was the end of round one (surprised that he didn't explode into a bloody mess though). In the second round, I unlocked another secret technique where the umpire fires a massive energy blast which wiped out only half of the manager's health...lame but that's what happened. In the end I was able to finish off just as easily. The third round was as anticlimactic as I took him down the same way I did in the first round so in the end, I was able to finish him off rather easily and the message came up,

YER OUT!

With the manager thrown out of the game, I scored one hundred points.

Once the game ends, I finished with over seven thousand points which would have been enough to unlock a new umpire (which requires at least 5,000 points for each of the first three)...had not been for the fact that I played the game in the easy mode...

In easy mode, I can screw both teams over which is much easier to get points that way.

Moderate mode is where I'm supposed to screw one team and help the other and for the hard mode? It's still unlocked since I have yet to beat the moderate mode, but I will get there one day. Right now, I'm not exactly in the mood to play the game again, I felt a bit burnt out so I'll need a time to recover but I will get to the hard mode one day.

I wonder if Jeff Nelson is one of the unlocked umps...


Comments

I would've taken the "German Surplex" option, just for the "WTF" curiosity factor. It's a good story without over-analyzing the umpire strike or any of the dirty reasons why bad calls are made.
This was probably the most sarcastic piece I've read in a while, but was it? Why can't we take things at face value?

It depends.

Angel Hernandez is known for blowing calls for attention and is a massive douche. The rest listed on the game are just plain bad, especially Bucknor.