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I want the funky chicken.

Age 37, Male

Student

some boring ass school

New York,NY

Joined on 8/29/02

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Cheers!

Posted by Idiot-Finder - May 5th, 2011


The following takes place between 11 PM and 12 AM on Sunday.

That night I was out to buy a lottery ticket when I notice there's a car following me. When I look at the reflection from the window from a toy store, that's when I recognize that car...it's that same car from last time, the one that neo-Nazi drove. I decided to do what I did the last time it happened, walk to the crowded area so that the dude will have to give up and drive away being that the last thing he'll need is attracting some unwanted attention. But unfortunately, being that it's late at night, there's hardly any people around except for couples of homeless and some panhandlers whom came up to me out of nowhere and said, "Can you please spare some change sir? Change? Please change?"

I took out my wallet and gave them whatever change I took out before running off.

"Thank you sir!" said one of the panhandlers before they went on to harass the next guy they would meet.

"Those bums should slow him down," I said.

I was right since the car got surrounded by a massive group of those bums, gotta appreciate that. However it would not last long since while I was on my way to the deli to buy a lottery ticket, I got lost for a while and it took me a while to get back.

Once I did, a black Mercedes stopped right in front of me and the blond man came out with a smug look on his face.

"Do you think you can get away with the trouble you have caused?" he said.

I pretended that I didn't know what he was talking about by saying, "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb, I saw you running off sometime before the cops came and ruined our plan!" he snarled.

Guess I was spotted before I went to the pay phone...

"Okay then, you caught me here but what are you going to do about it since your plan for that so-called master race of yours went down the drain?" I said in a mocking tone.

"You gook will regret for crossing our paths," he said.

"Bring it on!"

I cracked my fists and said, "Here's a bet, if I win, you take the rest of your thugs and leave!"

"That's not going to happen," said the neo-Nazi.

"It will, bet on it!"

The fight starts and the next thing I know, I woke up inside of somebody's car with shattered glass all over me. Ignoring the fact that this car doesn't use fiberglass and the fact that I was lying on what was left of a car door, I got out and said, "Where the hell are you going? This isn't over yet asshole!"

The neo-Nazi who was ready to leave then stopped and turn with a grin on his face.

He said, "So you're still alive, this should be interesting but in the end you won't be able to stand up to my Aryan strength!"

"You're not Indian," I said.

The neo-Nazi then gave me a glare and said, "I was planning to let you live, guess I'll just going to have to kill you!"

He came and threw a punch at me but I dodged it and proceed to attack him with barrage of punches to his body. But for some reason he shrugged it off so I tried to jump kick him and knocked him back a few yards where I would then follow up by running toward him and hit him with my flying back kick. As the kick hits him in the neck, nothing happened!

"You have chosen the wrong person to pick a fight with!" said the neo-Nazi.

I tried to punch him in the face but he leaped away and made a weird noise like as if he's having an orgasm. Afterward he charged forward and threw barrage of punches to my stomach before punting me across the street right through the thrift store window.

"I can't give up now..." I said while coughing out droplets of blood.

"As I said, you're no match for my superior bloodline, it's over!" he laughed.

I started to walk toward him as he continues his taunt, "Aryan will one day take over, you're just another insignificant bug I have dust aside and will soon he squashed!"

"You are not Indian!" I yelled.

"Guess you have a death wish, very well then...I grant you wish!"

I picked up a vuvuzela from the ground (probably from the thrift store) and tried to beat him with it but the lousy instrument snapped as it hit his head.

"Damn it all!" I said.

Then the neo-Nazi picked me up and threw me right to the back part of the thrift store.

"As I said, with my Aryan bloodline, you can't win!" he said.

I got up and said, "For the last time...you're not Indian!" I yelled.

"You're insolence will soon become the death of you and once it's done, I will lead the attack on Yankee Stadium as soon as I return to New York to teach those inferior races a lesson to be learned!"

Hearing this, anger started to flow through my body...he's going to lead an attack at my favorite sports team's stadium?

"Unforgivable!" I said.

Then I charge toward the neo-Nazi thug, lift him up and threw him to the ground before following with a body slam. The smug bastard was stunned when it happened and as soon as I got off, he got up and said, "Can't believe it...you managed to hurt me...I got careless...it's not goi-" before getting cut off by my jump kick to his face.

I cracked my fists and said, "Hey what happened? I thought your Indian blood is going to kill me, what happened?"

The neo-Nazi was surprised and said, "How is this possible? It can't be...there's no way...I'm losing?"

I cracked my neck and said, "For planning a racial motivated attack on my favorite sports team's stadium is something I can't forgive, Hitler's waiting for you in hell!"

Then angrily the neo-Nazi then yelled, "I'm among the great white race, the superior bloodline, the Ayran descent, there's no way I'll lose to you!"

"Oh you will!"

He began to run toward me and threw a punch but I dodged it and slam my fist to the side of his head, knocking him over. Once he recovered, I threw a barrage of fists at his midsection and started punching so fast and hard that his feet were lifted right of the ground.

"ATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATA..."

Few minutes later...

"...ATATATATATATA!!!"

Then I finish him off with a knockout punch to his face, sending him flying right out of the thrift store.

Then neo-Nazi slowly got up and tried to walk toward me but then I said, "You're already dead!"

The neo-Nazi then said, "...hell...I...am...I...will...kil..." before falling to the ground.

I picked up his body and dropped it into the dumpster. Yes he's still alive unfortunately although barely since he's still breathing, he would be discovered the next morning where he would be send to the hospital while charges awaits him according to the news (must have been for his previous crimes). Being that there were not witnesses that night, no one knows what really happened aside from him and me so that's good.

I got back to the hotel after giving up on the lottery ticket and there are some people giving me some weird looks. They acted as I I have gotten into a bar fight or something, guess I'll never understand some people.

I got back to my room and there's a bottle of champagne on a bucket of ice with a note attached to it.

For this special occasion, everyone in this hotel will get a bottle for free in celebration of this event.

Turn on the television and watch the news.

Sincerely, Manager Tom Watts.

I turn on the television and there's a news of Osama's long overdue death!

I shook the bottle of champagne, popped the cork and spray the bubbly all over the room in celebration.

"Cheers!"


Comments

CHAAAAAAAANGEEEE, YOU GOT CHAAAAAAAAAAAANGEEE? AH COME ON, HELP A GUY OUT WOULDJA?

One of them even tried to touch me, can you believe that?