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I want the funky chicken.

Age 37, Male

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some boring ass school

New York,NY

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Written On A Desk

Posted by Idiot-Finder - April 30th, 2011


On Monday, I was able to sneak into the school building without any problems despite the possibility that the dean may have beefed up the security since the incident few weeks ago. I guess they never learn their lesson. I was able to blend into the crowd and notice that some of the people I know for the past weeks were there but for some reason, Victor wasn't there...I wonder what happened...

Anyway the class starts and I sneaked into one of the closest classrooms I can find and help myself on an empty seat. Being that it's on the back of the classroom, the teacher won't notice and the students generally don't care. Once the teacher starts to discuss something, I notice something being written on the desk...I decided to see what it's about since the writings scribbled can be pretty funny. I realize it may have been written by some lovesick psycho due to this...

"Maria, how I have always love you with all my heart and yet you turned me down. But someday you'll be mine!"

-C.I.L.

"Who the hell is that?"

Then I felt a light bulb just turned on right above me (which it did because the class was starting to get dark so someone switched on the light). Once the class ends, I waited until the next day and brought a pen along. I wrote "Somebody's watching me, had stolen all my privacy!" - Maria.

"This one should be funny!"

Then the next day on the desk, some dude called "C.I.L." then wrote in response, "Maria, I will have you and there's nothing you can do to stop me...if I can't have you, then no one will!!!"

"Wait what?"

I started to become disturbed, who would use some random internet lingo on that? Seriously!

Then I wrote, "Gotcha, this isn't Maria, I'm just trolling you! I'm Mario, like that dude from a video game and that somewhat overrated ice hockey player. Can't believe you fell for that, now it makes you gay because you're flirting with a dude,!!!" - Mario

Then I added, "P.S: You're already gay!"

While waiting for the class to end, I started to wonder if I had forgotten something...

Later that day, I ran into one of my sorta friends in the hallway and asked him what happened to Victor. He said that Victor have been missing for the past several days and no one had any idea what happened. Hearing this, I knew something wasn't right...

Next day during class, I was beginning to wonder if the school dean's really that irresponsible, I mean I got in without any trouble for the fourth day in a row at that point. I mean come on, is the security really that bad? Just about anyone can sneak into the building through the rear end. Anyway I notice the writings on the desk and it said,"Lol, nice try but it won't work Maria. You will be mine no matter what as I'm crazy for you! You are in my heart and you want me, just admit it!" - C.I.L.

"P.S: I am not gay!"

"I hope the dude won't end up a love martyr for his sake!"

I wrote, "Time to come on out of the closet honey because you're officially gay!" - Mario

After the class ended, I went outside and saw two people making out on a park bench. They were trying to french it up but the dude fell on the girl and for some reason dozens of pigeons flew on them and it's hilarious!

"If only I have my i-pod with me, I'd record what happened and upload it on youtube!" I said.

While taking a walk at the park, I heard someone...

"Yo, pssst!" someone whispered

I turned and realized that it's Victor!

"Where have you been?" I asked.

"Some people are trying to kill me, I had to disappear for a while," he said.

"Wait what?!"

"The dean found out about our organization so he send his nephews after us,"

"W-what why?"

"He didn't want to acknowledge the fact that the school is been plagued with bullying so he's trying to cover it up!"

I knew it!

"So what are you going to do?" I said.

"I'll have to disappear for a while, thankfully my parents are away on a business trip so they won't be back for few months." he said.

"What about your sister?

"I actually three, two are at my uncle's and the other is in college so they'll be okay."

After that he left.

The next day I learn there's going to be a second mid-term exam on history and I didn't study!

"I didn't know there's going to be a test!" I yelled.

"Maybe next time pay some attention!" said one of the students.

The papers were handed out and when I took a look at the questions, I knew I'm in trouble. Once the test begins, I tried to concentrate on the questions...but it's impossible...I mean how am I supposed to know who Susan B. Anthony was!

Once I calm down I realize they're not difficult at all, especially since most of the questions happens to be multiple choices, my specialty. After answering them all, there's a essay question stating "What impact George Washington made on the world today?".

I wrote down the essay and finally it's over!

That essay about Washington's contribution on different uses of peanuts should help me nab an "A", what can go wrong?

But then remembering what I came for, I look on the desk and let's just say that the message have gotten a little disturbing...

"Maria, Maria, Maria, you can run but you can't hide! I know where you live and I know about your cousin being a magical girl, but no matter what I will have you and if I don't, no one will have you!" - C.I.L. R.I.P. 1993 - 2011

"Whoa, this guy's getting freaky!"

In response I wrote this, "How'd you figure it's me? Anyway I'll be waiting for you tomorrow at 4 in the afternoon, meet me at the 'Blue Oyster' where we will have fun time together, cheers!" - Maria

That stupid asshole didn't realize it's some dude writing, what an idiot!

Later I was on my way back to the hotel when I saw a group of bald men walking by and they have what seemed to be a swastika tattooed on each of their arms. I knew something's up, especially when there are neo-Nahzees around in the U.S. and out there in broad daylight. I decided to follow them quietly so that way I can stop whatever those bastards going to do later on. I hid behind the corner of every buildings in case they notice something and each time one of them seemed to be unnerved until a black Mercedes drove by and stopped. A door was opened and a tall muscular blond haired man emerge out of the vehicle and said something in German to which the skinheads saluted although they didn't went, "Heil!" while doing so.

Then the blond man said something in German and the skin heads started to shout in excitement. I went to the pay phone about a block to call the police and left an anonymous tip where they would later arrest those skinheads, but the blond guy wasn't there however. I knew I have to be wary since there's a good chance he knew someone reported them and could be seeking revenge.

Next morning I went out to the grocery store when I notice someone following me. I looked at the window of a clothing store and saw a reflection of a black Mercedes from the day before!

"That can't be good, he must have known somehow!" I said.

I decided to walk to a crowded area where he would eventually give up and drove away.


Comments

If that was kinda a true story, then it was one fucking awesome day.

A week actually.