Just this morning some animal rights loser from PETA came and said "Scums like you deserve to suffer, feel the wrath of PETA!"

"Dude, how the hell do you know what I am? Should I file a restraining order?" I said

Seriously how did they manage to track me? Isn't that stalking? All I did was beat the crap out of some of their members and they deserved it!

Anyway I ripped the bumper off the car and proceeds to beat the PETArd to death and soon his body turns into dozens of chickens and they would then scatter to the four corners of the Earth...I think.

"Wow, that was quick!"

Then a car owner came and saw me hold a bumper from his car...

"HEY! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CAR?" he yelled

"Uh oh!" I said

Then the nut takes out a gun and tires to shoot me. Thinking fast I start waving the bumper like a baseball bat. Here's the payoff...the car owner delivers a pitch...

I barely got out of the way in time...

Count: 1-0

Then here's the next pitch...

I swung and missed, the bullet grazed my arm...

"Ow!"

Count: 1-1

Another pitch...he fires a heater...

I swung but the bullet went through the bat...

Count: 1-2

"This time I won't miss," he said

I took a wild swing and the bumper flew off my hands, hitting the crazy nut in the face. After that I made a run for it into the park where for some reason there's tons of stray dogs running loose. I decide to blend in my acting like a dog by "arfing" at random people...it worked.

"What the hell is that bastard?" he said

Can't believe that retard actually fell for that one, I'm right in front of him and he walks away without noticing something. Soon I got up when I saw a soccer ball rolling toward me and some kid said "Hey mister, can you kick the ball back to us?"

The nut turns around and said "Aha, there you are!"

I quickly kick the ball at him and then it hits him in the gut, sending him flying dozens of yards right into the restroom where he made a huge imprint on the wall.

"That's why they call me the 'Mighty Steel Leg'!" I said

But then some dude came to ruin the moment by pointing out that I stole this from "Shaolin Soccer" so I went to kick the crap out of him, sending him flying into the office building.