I was out for a walk so I can try to shake off MDD when some ransom loser got in the way. He's wearing "Heil PETA" shirt and did a Nazi salute.

"What now?" I said

"Pigeon murderer die!" he yells and takes out a sword

I facepalmed.

"This is worse than the time when the umpire shrunk the strike zone on Mariano Rivera (last night's game),"

PETArd swung his sword at me but I moved out of the way before stopping the blade with my finger...

"WHAT? NO WAY!" he screams

"Look at how bad ass I am, only one finger!" I laughed

Gozar came and said "You thieving bastard!" before walking away

Anyway the blade breaks off and I quickly punch him right in the face. As the PETArd stumbles backwards, I start pelting him with rocks.

He starts screaming "STOP THAT!"

I threw another one...

"CUT THAT OUT!"

And another...

"STOP!!!"

And another...

"STOP IT!!!"

And another...

"NOOOO!!!"

Soon he drops dead and his body turns into dozens of chickens...

"What the HFIL?" I said

The chickens flies off before scattering into the four corners of the Earth...I think.