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I want the funky chicken.

Age 37, Male

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some boring ass school

New York,NY

Joined on 8/29/02

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The Lottery

Posted by Idiot-Finder - December 29th, 2009


After some close calls with Haggard's group, I came upon a village. Figuring that I could use some rest, I went to find the inn. As I was doing so, one of the locals came in front of me and said "Leave this village, outsiders are not welcome here!"

"Why?" I asked

"Today is the day of the...just get out!"

So I left wondering "What's eating his grapes?"

Later that night I came back figuring something's up, remember that hick said "Today is the day of the...". Ever notice that something like this occurs in movies, novels, and television shows always happens at night. After sneaking into the village, I saw dozens of people gathered right in front of a large lotto thingy.

A lot was drawn and at this point, the name is ready to be announced...

"Tina Jones!"

Then the crowd circles around a blonde woman who was yelling "HOORAY! I"M GONNA GET STONED FOR THE HARVEST!"

Then everyone proceeds to stone her to death...and I didn't do anything about it because she's that stupid.

Then one dude spotted me and said "Wait a minute...OUTSIDER!"

After stoning a dumb blond chick to death, the crowd proceeds to gang up on me and I ran to safety as they're pelting me with rocks. I waited for few hours until the whole thing finally blows over before sneaking back into the village. Seeing how barbaric those villagers are, I decided that they deserved to be punished. Honestly who stone people as a sacrifice for good harvest in modern times? Ever heard of fertilizer?

I found a bulldozer parked just outside of the village, seeing there's a construction area nearby...guess it kinda make sense. I hot wired the vehicle and proceed to take it out for a spin all over the village. First I mow down a school, then next I took down a library, and then a building which may have been an inn.

"That's for not letting me stay for the night assholes!" I yelled

Soon the villagers storm out of their homes running like maniacs as I continue my rampage. The finally I destroy that lotto thingy, but I didn't stop here!

"SOMEBODY STOP HIM!"

"HELP!!!"

"MANIAC ON THE LOOSE!"

I took down a small market place which seemed to be empty, if their sacrifice goes well then I'm sure they won't mind (sarcasm).

It was fun while it lasted, but the bulldozer ran out of fuel and I got off as the mob swarm towards me.

"Listen here village idiots! Pull that lotto-crap again I will return to wreak havoc once again!" I yelled

"You gonna pay for that!" a farmer yelled as he points a shot gun at my direction

I took out a pistol and shoots him in the leg

"Don't do this again" I said

Soon I left the village as the police arrives...

Next morning I picked up a newspaper "Idaho Press Tribune" and there's an article reads "Stupid asshole ransacked a village!"

Well whoever that asshole is, I hope they'll catch him. To make it worse he used a bulldozer like I did as well...whoa boy.

Also there's a crackdown on the lotto-killing as well, finally it's over. It's been a long week, I'll rest few few days before moving on to another city.


Comments

still running away? they're gonna find you sooner or later if you keep this up.

oh, and happy new year!

No, I'm not running away, I'm running back

Once I get back to NG HQ or one of the buildings affiliated with NG, most of the false charges will be dropped.

Dude, how could you not realize that if you do something newsworthy and it makes the paper headlines, YOU'LL BE THE NEWS!! Dumbass, :P

Can you stop messing around? There's a maniac on the loose and he might tore up another village, this is serious!