I'm in Salt Lake City right now and seeing that cellardoor6 is a mormon, I kinda expected to see him there despite him being with the military. Anyway I went to a hardware store where I remember EagleRock mentioned few years ago about an NG member owning the place (who would've thought? But then again A-Rod finally won a World Series ring and many didn't think that would happen until last month). Anyway I went there hoping that it's true so that I can get something that can help me out on my way back to NG HQ in Philly before Haggard's group arrest me for no logical reason other than the fact that Bahamut's a douchebag.

I went to the hardware store and was about to say the password used by the EGB. But unfortunately I remember I wasn't paying attention when I first join the barracks so...

"Um...got any codec in here?" I said

"What the hell are you talking about?" the dude said

"C'mon, I'm sure you have one around the back right?"

"Someone's been playing Metal Gear one too many times"

"C'mon, don't screw me over"

"Sorry, that's how it is"

Then I remember, "Eye of the Tiger!"

Then he stops and said "Meet me at the warehouse at five"

"Okay, idiot!"

"Don't push it"

So sometime later at the warehouse, he came back with a codec and said "This thing requires AAA batteries so..."

I took it and said "Kthanxbye"

"Wait, want to hear of a time when I was once rescued by a magical gi-"

I covered my ears yelling "LALALALA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LALALA..."

"But it's awesome!"

"Don't care"

"I heard she's Nano-"

"One one cares!"

Seriously he was in Japan at that time apparently and the place is filled with magical girls. Anyone will have an encounter sooner or later.

Anyway after leaving I try out the codec to see if it works. It did and then EagleRock appears on the screen.

"What the fuck are you doing? Can't you see I'm eating?" he said

"I need some help here, Bahamut send some people after me"

"Don't go to the HQ, trust me, ever since Wade left for vacation they beefed up the security"

"And?"

"Bahamut lied to some of the higher ups about you being a DD member"

"WHAT?!"

"Many of us didn't buy that crap but they just couldn't take any chances and I have no idea what you have done to piss Bahamut off but to go back you should go into one of the bases in New York City. It'll have the same effect if you made it back to the HQ"

"Hope you're not screwing me over, how can I trust you? You could be in cahoots with Bahamut for all I know"

"You're still a member of the barracks, we're not going to sell you out, just be careful out there"

"Alright, thanks I guess"

Then the transmission ends.

Then after making my way back to the hotel, I turn on the television to watch some news...

...the city was leveled due to a street-fight between two faggots when one of them was reportedly to have been yelling "I want my dick back!". Officials have no further informations as of now, we have no idea why we're reporting this but that's news for you. Coming up next, a man claimed to have an affair with Tiger Woods, more details after the break...

"Wait a minute...I recognize one of those faggots..."

Dickneck!

But who's the other guy?

Could it be the turnip dude dickneck was talking about back in New Zealand?

Also, WTF Tiger!