"Prepare fro trouble!"

"Make it double!"

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all peoples within our nation!"

"Lonic!"

"Snaw!"

"Duck Division, blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"

Then a duck jumps in front...

"AFLAC! That's right!"

After some awkward silence, I said "Shouldn't it be 'for' instead of 'fro'?"

"Shut up!" said Snaw

"It's none of your business!" Lonic snapped

"AFLAC!" the duck quacked

Then suddenly...

"HEY YOU TWO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE? THE BREAK'S OVER!" the McDonald's manager yells as he came out of the restaurant

The two DD members quickly ran back into the restaurant saying "Sorry!"

The duck flew away saying 'AFLAC!"

Anyway, I'm on my way out of Nevada and it's safe to say I won't be seeing those two losers anytime soon. But first thing's first, from the motel computer I tracked down that asswipe who have been uno-bombing my song parodies for couple of years now. No idea who it is but his Amiright user name happens to be "?".

"Okay, time to find...never mind!"

I decide to drop Solid Snake's persona because it's getting ridiculous. With that said, I start looking for what's-his-face. I came upon a remote desert area, after walking further there's a hatch covered with dried grass. I clear the grass away and proceed to open the hatch, there's a ladder that goes down about a mile long.

"Oh boy"

I took a deep breath and begin to start climbing down. After spending about twenty minutes climbing down to what seemed to be a bottomless pit...

"Finally, a ground!"

I turn on the light and found a guard sleeping, I took a band of grenades and ammos from him along with M-16. Then I turn off the light and proceed to start sneaking through the corridor with flickering dim lights. There I saw several more guards, I waited until they look away from my direction and I snuck right past them.

"Hey did you hear that?"

I frozed...

"Yeah, must have been the wind"

"Yup, definitely the sound that wind makes"

I went on and found several rooms, I waltz into one and found a prisoner tied up. I untie the dude and he said "That was close, I swear that guy's crazy!"

"Who?" I said

"Static!"

"Who?"

"He was a parody lyricist on some website...until he..."

"Got banned by ChuckyG the web administrator"

"How'd you..."

"I was there when it happened, that faggot used to litter Amright with mediocre parodies and his pro-Red Sux crap"

"Who are you?"

"No time, get out if you can, I'll deal with that prick!"

I know Static is a douche but I never thought he would go and troll on my parodies, what's his problem?

Anyway, I decide to pick up Snake's persona because it's fitting and I have a feeling Static my now be "?", could be his dragon (look up tv trope).

"Just make sure the guards look away and sneak past them" I said

"Alright, best of luck!" he saluted

I saluted back and made my way to another room where I found a ration. Having nothing to eat since yesterday when I ordered MickyD's extra value meal to get a glass (only to learn they're all out of green and yellow ones, just blue and purple which I already have), I ate the ration. Frankly it taste awful but what can you do?

Then I made my way to another room and found another hostage. I untied him and he said "That was close, be careful, the leader of this fortress is planning something huge"

"I have a bad feeling about this"

"I heard him saying something about revenge on ChuckyG and so on"

Then i remember something, Static wasn't banned...he dropped off into obscurity! The person banned was Fitu Petaia!

"It was Fitu Petaia!"

"Huh?"

"I remember, it made sense, that guy have been trashing my parodies for some time before his banishment, Static's just happens to be his dupe!"

"That means..."

Then that person I rescued earlier shows up pointing M-16 at us.

"I hate it when people like you stick their noses in, now prepare to die!"

We jumped out of the way and I shot him. Then I took his wallet from his body and found $20 along with couple of pre-1965 quarters I have been spending my life looking for.

"You won't be needing these!" I said before throwing an empty wallet right back at him

Then I point the gun at the dude with me as well "Should I trust you?"

"But..."

"Answer the question, the guy I saved tried to kill me so what makes you think I should trust you!"

"I swear I didn't know that guy, I didn't have weapons with me"

"There's one way to find out"

I knocked him out

"The noise came from over there!"

The guards heard the gunshots...

"Over there!" one of the yelled

I jumped out and gunned them down, but then it suddenly jammed...

"No wonder why the U.S. lost Vietnam" I said

M-16 sucked!

The dude I knocked out eventually regain consciousness and said "What do you do that for?"

"I may regret this, the guards are dead so head to the exit!"

"Okay, I'll get some help, just hang in there!"

Then he ran off to the exit...

After taking extra bucks from the dead guards, I start heading toward the where the leader is.

"OKAY! Time to kick Static or Fitu's ass!"

I enter the room and there's a shadowy figure petting a white persian cat.

"I've been expecting you...Max Power!"

Then he puts his cat down and snaps his fingers, the entire room is lit up.

"So it's you, where's Fitu Petaia then?"

"He's away planning something big, it's awesome and will take down the Amiright community!"

"I'm not going to let you guys do that!"

"Try and stop me"

Then he takes out a can of Red Bull and gulped it down. Soon he starts running around like a maniac starts zipping all over the building, even through several halls!

"Try to catch me!"

I threw a grenade in his path and then he blew up.

"At least things couldn't get any worse" I said to myself

On my way out, I was confronted by several guards until...

"Get down! Don't move!"

The guards surrenders and then I realize the second hostage was telling the truth, the help have arrived!

He called his comrades and they came.

"What took you?" I said

"Give me a fucking break, the ladder's long as hell"

After we all got out of the secret underground lair, we sealed the entrance to ensure no one will enter again. After we part ways, I was on my way back to the motel when a small tremor occurred!

Then there's a giant tank with legs popped out of the desert area where it proceeds to leap away in great lengths. I stood there frozen and have no idea what the hell just happened...what the hell did I just saw?