Earlier today I decide to stop hiding and tell my friend the truth about what happened. After asking some users who responded to my thread asking for help, I realized I have to take responsibility so I did what I have to do. So with that, I went to his house and rang the doorbell but there's no answer at first so I rang it again. Finally he opens the door and his eyes are somewhat bloodshot, it looked as if he have been drinking for the past few days.

"You okay?" I said

"My kitty's gone..." he said quietly

"Look, what happen...I didn't mean it"

"What are you talking about?"

"I thought that it'll land on it's feet, I didn't mean to kill it"

Then there's brief silence...

"You mean it didn't jump out on it's own?"

"Um...what?"

"That explains it! I remember I kept the window closed! I thought I left it up by accident!"

"Are you alright?"

"Yes I'm okay, with gumdrops and..."

"Dude, take a rest okay? I'll buy you a new cat, I promise y-"

"NO! EVER SINCE MY SISTER CALLED ME A BAD GUY AND LEFT TO JOIN THOSE MAGICAL GIRLS, THAT CAT IS ALL I HAVE..."

"Calm down, remember, goosa-"

"I HATE THAT MOVIE ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!"

"Dude, I'm sorry okay? I'll just leave and..."

"No, it's okay, I shouldn't have been like that, you didn't mean it"

"So...it's okay?"

"Yeah, I have something awesome to show you, follow me"

So I did and he led me to the basement. You'll be surprised, it's huge!

"Whoa, long have you been spending down there?" I said

"Long enough, my sister saw me conducting experiment on her friend one time and turned her into a monster, frankly she have to kill her friend and ran off" he said

"What?"

"Just kidding" he said nervously

Then he gesture me to wait as he enters one of the several rooms after inserting his key card to open the door. But then...the exit out of the basement was sealed shut!

"You killed my kitty, I'll never forgive you!"

Then he comes out with a AK-47

"What the?"

I got out of the way right in time and saw how depraved my friend have become.

"You killed my kitty, you deserve to die!" he said

I quickly leaped over him before he could open fire and ran into one of the rooms that were open. I quickly hid under the bed and wait for the crazed maniac leave. Afterward he left and I found a key card under the bed.

"Okay! Time to find room R-5!" I said

I look around carefully to make sure no one's there and found room 'R-5'. I insert the key card and found a lighter inside.

"What the hell is it doing here?" I said to myself before discovering another key card

"Okay! Time to..."

"Oh there you are!"

"Oh crap!"

I got out of the way in time

"Close call" I said

I look at the key card, it's for room 'R-2'

"Okay! Time to find R-2!" I said while refraining myself from making a pun

I found the room and discover another key card...

"Again?"

After several minutes of cat-and-mouse game and opening several rooms with key cards, I finally came upon the final locked room.

"Don't let me down..."

I insert the final key card into room 'R-4' and opened the door slides open. I found a can of aerosol...

But then I got an idea!

I created a makeshift flamethrower by attaching the lighter to the top of the spray and tested it...blue flame shot out!

"Okay! Time to kill my so-called friend suffering from a mental breakdown!"

I really need to stop reading hiimdaisy's web comics...

After few minutes, that crazy bastard shows up and said "There you are! TIME TO MEET YOUR DOOM! MUHAHAHAHA!!!"

I took out a can and proceed to torch him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Soon he drops his gun screaming in agony before yelling "THIS ISN'T OVER! THIS...ISN'T...O...VER! T...HIS...I...SN'T...O...V...ER..."

Soon it's over, all what's left is his smoldering remains. I went to that room to find a control which I did and open the exit, on my way out a phone rang.

I picked it up and said "Hello?"

"We are the representative of Hideo Kojima! You have been sued for copyright infringement, hope you have a good lawyer because we'll be seeing you in court in December 20th! Have a good day!"

Well the guy they're suing's dead and it's not my problem right? If it was me, they'd call my house right? Right? Right?

Right?

RIGHT?

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT?