Fortune Telling

2009-10-04 19:48:55 by Idiot-Finder

One morning I went to a tent just outside the park to meet a fortune teller. Yes there's a huge advertisement regarding that and I became curious. Once I went in...whoa, it's filled with awful smell similar to vitamins and pee. There's this hippie woman who looked no older than 30 and seemed to be under influence of marijuana. After smoking a bong, she takes out her crystal ball and hover her hands over it.

"I see something...I see darkness, all foul and dark..." she said

I got kinda worried a bit

"Now I will kill a man named Trevor...horrifying pun...step on his corpse..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, why would I kill that guy, he haven't done anything wrong but refusing to watch the abridged series which caused him to miss the jokes" I said

"This is what I see unfortunately, also you will one day lead the rebellion in the other world, against newgrounds..."


"The crystal ball do not lie"

I start to freak out, according to her I'm going to do the opposite of what I stood for. That is until I heard this...

"You will ally with Dream-of-Duke"


"You will kill the other you"

"That's unlikely"

"You will fight against Slash's demonic nemesis"


"You will disrupt the meeting by storming the front..."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You will fight against super-Byte before escaping"

"You're just messing with me aren't you?"

But she ignored my question and continues to blurt out rubbish while continuing to stare at the crystal ball. Kids, this is the main reason why marijuana should not be legalized!

"You will assault a member of a feminist group..."

"That I would do"

"You will travel to space along with Mr. T and others to fight those evil invading aliens"

"Okay, if you're not taking this seriously I'm outta here" I said as I got up

"My crystal ball never lies..."

"Yeah sure"

"Also one day you will summon enough powers that you will be able to defeat the tyranny of the other world"

"Now I know you're full of crap"

Then I left and went back to the hotel where I start shipping my stuff back to the U.S. for one reason, deadline is approaching. I'll try to stay here past the deadline but to avoid arrest by Bahamut the ass-wipe, I'm not going to let my stuff get confiscated by a team he'll send. Good thing NEVR told me about this or I wouldn't have taken Bahamut's threat seriously. Anyway those predictions are ridiculous, c'mon, what are the odds? Next thing she'll be telling me is that the Mets will change their uniform color.

The odds of all New York Super Bowl is better than this and everyone know it'll never happen although I would love it to happen, but it won't unfortunately...

Then an hour after I checked out of the room that was fumigated, I received a phone call in the other room I'm currently staying at. I expected it to be one of those annoying telemarketers but instead...

"I know everything" said the fortune teller

"Where the hell did you get this number?" I said

"In the future, you will duel against a guitarist also named Slash on Guitar Hero, losing the first eight tries before finally winning in the ninth. You two will compete on a song called 'Reflex' by Duran Duran"

"You know you're paying for this call right?"

Then she hung up...

As Lawrence Taylor once hypocritically said, "Don't smoke crack!"


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2009-10-05 13:57:47

i really doubt she was high on just marijuana...
and she probably know someone that works in the hotel.


2009-10-05 14:59:39

She should of also predicted The Lions winning the Super Bowl and the Cubs winning the World Series this year. That would have given me a laugh.


2009-10-05 15:42:56

you killing me? That's a laugh. I'd be able to hold my own if you and I ever did meet in real life.