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I want the funky chicken.

Age 36, Male

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some boring ass school

New York,NY

Joined on 8/29/02

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Spider!

Posted by Idiot-Finder - October 1st, 2009


Earlier this morning when I woke up at 2 a.m. I felt something crawling in my bed. I lift my blanket over and to my horror, it's a tarantula...the same one those hoodlums tried to send me before. I froze in terror as the giant arachnid crawls up my body. Soon it starts crawling on my face and stopped for a while. As sweats starts to flow out like that scene with Ted Striker from the movie "Airplane!", the spider finally left. Immediately I got up an knock the spider to the floor and I crushed it with a giant phone book.

Soon I went to the bathroom and starts to throw up, it's the most disgusting I have seen since Zacied's goatse when I went to rescue MightyPotato. Thanks to this I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night and I'm tired. Not to mention the fact that I'm still somewhat jittery from that high experience I got from accidentally inhaling weed a while ago.

So I got out early this time to confront those Charger fans once and for all...but then something happened. An Australian tourist came and asked me if I can take a picture of him in front of a harbor, I said "Alright".

After taking a picture, he thanked me and we parted on good terms. Then I went for a walk to the park to take a nap on a bench when I saw a kid stumbling toward me.

"Kid are you okay?" I said

Then a police officer came to the kid and said "Kid are you lost?"

Without answering, the kid fell and blew up like a bomb. The officer's dead and I was covered with what's left of the kid.

"What the..."

I saw someone running from the scene so I chased him. Unfortunately after few minutes or so the chase ends in the jungle where I lost him.

"Damn it!"

Who is that person? Why did he run from the scene? Did he have something to the exploding kid?

Then I have one more question...should I ignore the deadline and stay here for a little longer until Chris Beer is caught?

All I know is that I felt like as if my respiratory system have turned into a phlegm factory, lack of sleep can do that to you, especially in uncomfortable weather. As I was leaving, the police came and I answer all the questions they threw at me, soon I was taken to the hospital for an hour before being released. Being that I was near where the explosion happened not to mention being covered in gunk...so yeah. As I was walking my way back to the hotel, the manager came and told me that my room have been fumigated due to infestation from another package send to me. They were able to move my stuff out before it happened so I'll have to stay in another room.

He said "What did you do to upset someone enough to hurt you, it's one of the several times it happened"

Although I may not have any proof but I have good idea whom it might've been...

I'll get those bastards tomorrow...count on it!


Comments

I lol'd at the kid exploding.

how do you come up with all these great stories?

ya see, this is what happens when you piss off Charger fans. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!!!!!!!

I saw mistakes, it's not like you to make so many mistakes :(.

Give me a break, I got attacked by a spider.