Last week while preparing for my flight to New Zealand to find that portal spammer known as Chris Beer, I was at the airport waiting for the plane to New Zealand to arrive. I decide to go the restroom to relieve myself (I don't trust the bathroom in the plane) when I saw Larry Craig leaving the men's room. He was muttering to himself, "My career's gone, my career's gone..."

"Hey, aren't you that gay senator?" I yelled

The reporter nearby must've heard it because soon afterwards...

"Larry Craig's here? Everybody, Larry Craig is in the airport, get the camera ready!"

"Thanks a lot kid, just what I need...another media attention!" the gay senator growled before taking off with massive media mob chasing him.

Knowing that Larry Craig's encounter will be overshadowed by Michael Jackson's death, I shrugged and went to the restroom. Sometime later, I went back to the terminal where the plane was supposed to arrive when it's been announced there's a delay. They said the delay may last for few hours so I decided that I might as well take a look around the airport when I saw someone gestering me to come with him.

"Kekekekeke come over here"

"Why?"

"Kekekeke trust me or I'll kick your ass"

"That won't make me come any closer"

"Damn it just come and follow me, it's important"

"I'll might as well"

I decided to follow him just to know what was going on and then it happened, a portal appears right in front of me. The stranger then jump into the portal saying "Kekekekeke..."

"What the...wait!" as I jump in after him and then I blacked out

As I started to regain consciousness, I heard someone talking to me

"Are you okay? New here?"

"Kekekekeke he did came after all"

I woke up and to my surprise, there's a Mudkip and Gengar in front of me

"WTF? What the hell happened and where am I?" I yelled before realizing gengar is taller than I am

I went to take a look at the puddle and saw munchlax

"Do not fear, there's a reason why it happened?" a female voice spoke

I look up and it's Ninetales

"What are you talking about?"

"Few weeks ago, several humans have found their way into our world, they have such advanced technology that all our attacks are useless and they were able to force out those who inhabited the northern part of this world"

"Couldn't the legendaries do something about that?"

"The part taken over also includes Mt. Freeze and Sky Tower, Rayquaza tried to stop them but was never seen again, I myself barely escaped with help from the others"

Then Gardevoir came and said "Not only that, there's a strange foul creature we fought but no matter how badly we damaged it, it still recovers and devours everything in sight"

"Devours everything in sight?" I said

"Those tried to stop it were devoured" said Ninetales

"I'm not going to be much help if you guys can't stop it, I'm a Munchlax now"

Then Xatu who have been still for all this time break it's silence by saying "You will go through several stages as a human, soon the path will be clear"

"Eh?"

"You'll find out soon, right now you wait until then" said Ninetales

After few days of staying over at Mudkip's place doing practically nothing but sleeping

"How long are you going to stay here? I thought were going to do something fun" he moaned

"How should I know? I never asked to be here and on what Xatu said, I'm as clueless as you are"

Then suddenly there's been an attack, someone burst through the wall and it's...

"It's that monster!" Mudkip screamed

I recognized that monster, it's Gluttony!

"Can I eat them?" he said

Mudkip used waterpulse on Gluttony, but then his mouth grew up to show a huge eye in the middle.

"What was that?" mudkip screamed

"Mudkip, get the hell out of there!" I yelled

"No, I learned few years ago not to run away, I'm not a coward anymore" the idiot screamed as he charged toward the homuculus

"Wait!"

It's too late, he got sucked in. Soon afterwards I felt myself being pulled toward Gluttony as well and struggled to break free. Soon Flygon flew in and tried to pull me away but then both of us got sucked in and for a moment it's all darkness. As I woke up, I found myself lying on what I thought was few inches of some liquid, when I looked down to my horror it's actually...blood! To make things worse, there's human skeletons as well.

"Where the hell am I?" I yelled

Then I heard a somber voice saying "Is anyone there? I want to go home"

Hearing this, I said "Keep talking, I'll follow your voice"

"Who are you? I can't see you, it's too dark"

Then I saw a light up ahead

"No need to worry, there's a light, follow it!"

After reaching the place, turns out Flygon was there and it lit a old wooden house on fire. Also that voice was mudkip's and I noticed he's shorter, I look at my self and realized I'm human again.

"Who are you?" he said

"Why do you live in a place where hardly anyone's around? Also charging toward a hole is a stupid move" I answered

"It's you" he cried as he jumped on me, knocking me down in a process before continuing "Why didn't you run? Why..." before sobbing

"Alright, quit the waterworks, we need to find a way out"

"If we can find one" said Flygon

"Eh?"

"I searched everywhere, don't know if there's a way out of here"

Then Mudkip whimpered "D-does that mean we'll die there?"

"That's not what I s-"

Flygon was interrupted by Mudkip's screaming and so I picked him up and shake him

"Stop crying! We'll find a way out, trust me kid!"

Then he calm down a bit and said "We will?"

"Um...yeah" I said, unsure of myself, even I didn't know if there's a chance that we'll make it out alive

Then I remember something, I reach into my pocket and found a lighter

"So...for all this time?"

"What's wrong?" said Mudkip

"Nothing" I said while trying to forget the fact that I could've use the lighter to make a torch from something I could pick up

Then something caught my eye, as the flames began to dim there's a small pouch on the ground filled with red stones. Upon closer look I realize it's the philosopher's stones, having no time to explain, I said "I just found a way to get us out of here"

"You did? How?"

I show them the stones and told them about the history of the philosopher's stone and so on. Not surprisingly they got freaked out when I told them about how the stones were made from.

"Get rid of those!" Flygon ordered

"Do you want to get out or not?" I said

"Not with those, if you don't throw these things out I'll..."

He got cut off by an eery sound "Feed...feed...feed..."

"Oh no"

"So scared" Mudkip whimpered

"What are they?" Flygon yelled

I realized we've been surrounded by the immortal soldiers injected with the components of the stone itself

"We'll have to go now, I have to use the stones!" I said before drawing a transmutation circle

I learned bit of alchemy myself three years ago, long story so to make it short...I met someone from the alternate universe. No idea who he is, dude left after teaching me few basics of alchemy.

I placed the stones on the circle and said "Here goes nothing"

The transmutation begins, huge light starts flashing and my arms grew numb. Moments later a whirlpool appears, knowing it'll close up any minute I had to convince the two to jump in before it's too late. Maybe it would've been better if I had kept the information regarding the philosopher's stone to myself until after we got out, because of that they're reluctant to do so. Maybe I should've lie to them before telling them the truth, but it's too late and at this point there's one thing left to do.

"Jump into the portal, it's our only way out!" I yelled

"No, you used stones made from the dead to open it, it could send us to the wrong place!"

Angry I grabbed a petrified Mudkip and threw him into the whirlpool where he dissolves

Flygon became angry and said "You bastard! I won't let you get away with this!"

Knowing it's my chance to save that stubborn pokemon, I said "I just did" before jumping right in

Flygon did what I was hoping he would do, he tried to pull me out but was dragged in as well and soon afterwards what I saw is bright light and a huge eye looking right at me. Soon there's a giant door right in front of me, later it opens up and small black arms start pulling me in. For a while everything's all dark then suddenly...all three of us were thrown out of the homuculus' mouth. As I got up, I saw Gluttony on the floor with his hands on his belly, eventually he begins to disintegrate and that's the last of him.

"Everyone alright?"

Mudkip's out cold but Flygon slowly got up and said "Y-you fool, almost got u-us all kil..." before collapsing in pain.

"But we made it back, that's what mattered"

After two days recuperating, I decided to set out to the sky tower to face those villians. While doing so, Flygon flew by and said "While I don't like you for what you did, you also saved us back there so I'll get you to the sky tower"

"Thanks"

"But because our attacks are useless due to the field they placed, I'll have to drop you off right in front of the tower, you'll have to go in yourself"

"I'm ready for that, how's Mudkip anyway?"

Flygon flew off before I asked this question. Now I get Xatu's prediction, what I don't get is how did I still understand what the pokemons are saying? Now I know how Eddie Murphy felt in a same situation (sort of). As I enter the sky tower, a dagger flew by and narrowly missed as it hits the entrance door.

"What a pleasant surprise, a guest"

The light's been switched on and it's a French dude armed with several daggers

"For what reason you came here, I won't let you pass" he said as he throws another dagger

I dodged it and hits the window sill instead

"This time I won't miss" as he throws three more daggers

I barely managed to avoid the three as one of them grazed my cheek. Then I quickly took one of the daggers from the window sill and threw it at the attacker, unfortunately due to the fact that my arm strength sucked, the dagger land several feet in front of him. Seeing this, the dagger thrower sweat dropped.

"Seriously? In case you're wondering yes I'm not really French or otherwise the accent would've been stereotypical and I would've surrendered long time ago, my mother is however"

"What are you telling me this?"

"I thought it would be fair if I let my enemy know before I end it" he sneered as he throws another three daggers I would dodge by jumping over them

"You can't win!" as he throws two more

I dodged the two like the scene from Matrix

"Crap! No!" the dagger thrower screams as he realize he ran out of daggers to throw

As he reach for the one I threw, I quickly ran toward the thrower and head-butted him. Soon afterwards he collapse to the floor and tries to retreat. But before he could do so, I grabbed him by the shirt and said "Who's in charge? What's your purpose? Why did you took over the sky tower and Mt. Freeze?"

"I'll answer once I have a smoke" he said

I let him go and he took out a cigarette

"Got light?"

I took out my lighter and after taking a puff, he begins to act funny and said "Fuck you!" before falling to the ground dead with foam in his mouth

This is the second time someone I interrogated does that, like before it's a cyanide cigarette. Figure I would learn my lesson from last time but apparently I didn't. So I made my way to the second floor, the room have been refurbished into a pub. Then a man in a tuxedo appears, without introducing himself he threw poker cards at me. I was able to jump out of the way, but then he threw another round and I caught some of the cards, including one with my teeth.

"All aces" he said

I look at the cards and he's right, all aces of spades

Then he begins to inhale and blow flames at me, my jacket caught on fire forcing me to stop, drop, and roll. Then I remember something, seeing that we're in a pub, I waited until he blew second round of flame at me and I jumped away to grab a liquor bottle. The bottle's quarter full for some reason but I quickly took a swig, a soon the gambler blew another flame at me, I spit the liquor at him and he jump out of the way to avoid getting burned by his own flames.

"Impressive, too bad the bottle's empty" he said

He's right, the bottle is empty, with that I grabbed another bottle next to me and took a swig, gulping it down by accident when I notice the drink taste kinda funny. I look at the bottle and read the label, to my horror I realized I took a bottle of corrosive fluid!

"Corrosive fluid!" I gasped and started to feel sick

"What an idiot, I'll just end it slowly right here!" the gambler said as he prepares to blow a final flame at me

Quickly I land a huge blow to my stomach and blew the fluid at the gambler as be blew the flame, soon his body caught on fire.

"This is why you should never play with fire" I said as I made my way to the third floor while the gambler falls out of the window.

Third floor, no one here so I made my way to the fourth floor with same result. I was wondering why the third and fourth floor were left unoccupied as I made my way to the fifth floor. This time there's someone waiting for me at the fifth floor, a man in a japanese military uniform. For some reason he was just standing here, not taking any chance, I kicked him in the face three times, but he stood there unfazed and all he did was cracking his neck. Then in a split second he jump-kicked me and I was knocked across the room right in front of the stairs I climbed.

I got back up and gestered him to bring it on. The japanese brute then walk toward me and I begin attacking him head on, but he blocked my punches, picked me up, and threw me against the wall.

"I could've finished you off by throwing you down the stairs, but that would be too easy" he said

I slowly got up and noticed the opponent is positioned right in front of the stairs I climbed, this gives me an idea. I know it won't be easy seeing that I used that technique once before against Zen444 in Somalia few months ago. I positioned myself several feet in front of him before charging directly towards him. The japanese brute smirks and said "Your attack is too direct, time to fin...what the?!" as I leaped over him and caught his neck with my legs and grabs his feet. Soon we curled up like a ball and I used his body as a shield as we roll down the stairs to the fourth floor, then to the third, and then to the second where it finally stops.

I got up and grew dizzy before heading to the stairs to climb up to the third floor. As I made my way to the fourth floor, it turns out the japanese dude is still alive and he took out his kantana before angrily charging right at me. Quickly I took off my belt and used it to disarm him before breaking his neck afterwards. Then I grew tired and climb to the fifth floor to take a break until I decided that I'll be ready to face my next opponent. You know the concept seemed familiar for some reason, I was wondering why before realizing that the only thing's missing is that yellow track suit.

After resting for few hours, I climbed several floors to the eighth and to my surprise...

"We meet again!" said dickneck

"Dickneck?"

"Stop calling me dickneck!" he screams

Soon he stretches his neck toward me, but I kicked it right back at him.

"Ow, you'll pay for that" he shouts as he stretches his neck toward me again

I headbutted him saying "You could've had a V8!"

"I had enough of this!" dickneck screams as he stretches his neck again, again, and again but with same result

"Just give it up dickneck" I said

"I am not dickneck, I am a human being!" he screams

"Just give up"

"No!" as he proceeds to stretch his neck once again

I side-stepped out of the way and his head ends up out of the window, soon his body was dragged out along with it.

"I will get my revenge..." dickneck screams as he falls several story out of the window

So I made my way to the ninth floor and there's a Kareem Abdul-Jabbar look-alike waiting for me. I went to attack him but he kicked me away. After I got up, he went to kick me again but then I dodged it and knocked him off his feet. Quickly I used my feet to lock his leg so immobolize him for a while before letting go to get out of the way. Then he got up and tries to kick me but I blocked it and land a blow to his stomach before knocking him down. I stood back to let him recover, then he tried to kick me again but with same result and knocked him down with a swift kick to the head despite his height.

Then I tried to attack him but he flipped me over and begins to push my head toward a shard of broken vase. Then I slowly flipped myself over to a head-stand position and kicked fake Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, forcing him to let me go. After recovering, he went after me with series of rapid high-kicks which I had to dodge. Soon as I was dodging him, he accidently kicked a window and a sunlight shone through, blinding him. With the black guy distracted I jump kicked him to the ground and proceeds to break his neck.

Exhausted from a fight with a fake Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, I went to the sky tower summit above the ninth floor before taking a break. After another few hours have passed, I continue on my journey to the top to put the end to whatever whoever's been doing when I heard a conversation nearby.

"You know, you two were supposed to dispose those evidence secretly, how did you guys managed to get caught last year?"

"Yes but what happened is that someone called the cops, we didn't know ho..." followed by a gunshot

I crept closer to see what was going on, to my surprise it's Colonel Stuart and the two men I beaten up last year in that infamous incident.

Colonel then points the gun at the remaining henchman and said "You know the penalty of failure" as he proceeds to pull the trigger, only a click is heard.

"One more mistake, the gun will have more than one bullet" he said before walking away

The henchman follows him to the top of the summit

"That bastard's still alive?" I said

To those aren't aware, back in Christmas Day of 1989, Colonel Stuart let a renegade group of former members of the U.S. Airforce to take over the Washington Dulles International Airport. It was done so to free a South American dictator and druglord. During the event Stuart was responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people and nearly got away with it, but in the end a former police lieutenant John McClane put a stop to this when he blew up the plane with Stuart, the dictator, and his men inside. With that, I couldn't believe that scum is still alive, it can't be possible!

As I follow them to the peak of the summit, there's a generator producing some type of energy field, now I know why the pokemons couldn't do anything. I waited until one of them leaves, Colonel Stuart left his henchman to guard the generator. There I snuck up from behind and threw him off the summit, unfortunately because of the noise...

"What's going on here?" Stuart demanded as he charged back

"What's your plan?" I said

"So you're the one who breach the security and made it all the way, to congratulate you for your efforts, I'll tell you"

So I listened

"Ever since that day my plan have been foiled by that policeman McClane, some of my loyal followers have performed a satanic ritual to bring me back to life"

I was disturbed

He continues "Then few years into plotting my revenge , I heard about the world of pokemon so my men took over several labs and kidnapped several scientists to create a machine that extract the power from the Bermuda Triangle to get there"

"Why?"

"So I can build a secret base and harness the energy from those creatures in this world to take over the world"

"I won't let it happen!"

"You can't stop me" he said as he pulls out a gun at me

I quickly jump right behind the generator as he fires several shots at me before reloading. Quickly seizing my chance, I jumped out and kick the gun off his hand, but unfortunately due to exhaustion from fighting five of his guards, I was getting clobbered. Giving up hope of beating him, I decide to destroy the generator, seeing the alchemy I performed few days before drained most of my energy, I only have one shot (otherwise I would've took out Stuart and his men easily if I'm at least half-full, but give me a break, I'm a human not a robot). I fired a palm blast at the generator and blew it up in the process.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" he screamed

Afterwards he tried to kick me off the cliff of the summit, but I held on to the ledge with my hands.

"Because of you my plan have failed, I will be returning to our world but you won't" as he steps on my fingers until one of my hands lost it's grip.

Due to exhaustion, I wasn't able to hold on for long so my other hand lost it's grip and I begin to fall.

"Happy landing, may we meet again!" he yelled sarcastically

After falling for several hundreds of yards, I land on something and I realize it's Flygon.

"You did it" he said

"But the perpetrator got away" I said

"But if it hadn't been for you, who knows what could've happened to us, not bad for a human" he said

After a while, Flygon landed in where we first came here several days ago. I looked up at the sky and saw Rayquaza flying by, I guess he's freed. Then Ninetales came and said "Our world is saved because of the efforts of you, Flygon, and Mudkip, now that your purpose has been fulfilled you will be returning to your world"

"When?" I said

"Now" said Gardevoir as she creates a portal

Before going in, I turned and said "After a week it good to know you, gonna miss you all"

They nodded with some looking sad

"Kthanx" I said as I jump into the portal

After few minutes I found myself back at the airport, but because of the time I have been missing...I missed the flight. I decided to take a week long break before pursuing Chris Beer, I need to rest for a while, also I just heard what happened so I may have to wait longer before I can go to New Zealand. As I'm writing this (which have been few days), I heard something on the news, something about another bunny invasion...