This morning I was on my way to a deli to buy a newspaper when I heard someone laughing like a maniac. It's already early in the morning and something just happened, seriously something's wrong with this picture. Not only that I'm tired due to lack of sleep and it's been raining every single day, they said it's going to rain today as well. Despite that I decide to go and see what was going on, it can't be that bad can it?

"No please, give it back or the world will be in peril if fallen to the wrong hands!" someone yelled

"As if, I'm going to use this device so no one will stop us"

It's Chris Beer...I think

"Hey, are you a clone?" I demanded

"A NGer, yes I'm a clone, do anything think the real Chris Beer would try to do the dirty work all by himself aside submitting crap to the portal?" the clone sneered

Soon he levitates and flew away

"Catch me if you can sucka!"

I went to help the victim up and then he said "You have to stop him, this..."

"Hey I recognize you, you're that guy from an episode of Pokemon, you got shafted by that Team Aqua member"

"There's no time for that, if he gets away the device will result in a catastrophic weather disaster"

"Then why the hell did you create that thing for?"

"To end drought so people from the third world can have better life, stop wasting time and..."

"This is the alternate world, there's no pokemon"

"Damn it! It's over..." before breaking down

I was heading home when I remember something, I can still stop Chris Beer's clone and retrieve that weather device. I ran back home and open the closet for something that haven't been used since my battle against Xito the review troll three years ago, Corey Lidle's old jet pack!

"Here goes nothing" as I turn on the jet pack

Soon I was raised several meters into the air and I remember to adjust the speed, I decrease the power so I won't accidently end up in the other side of the world. Then I start looking for that clone, he can't be that far and I was right, in few minutes of searching I found that flying clone.

"Hey, you better give that thingy back!"

The clone turned and said "What or I'll be sorry?"

"If you don't give it back what I'll do to you will be even worse than what Lawrence Taylor did to Joe Theismann's leg"

From the bottom someone yell "Dude, not cool!"

"You'll just gonna have to take it from me and that'll never happ--what the fuck?"

"While you were blabbering like an idiot, I snatch the device away from you, then to rub it in I punch you in the face, this is why always keep your eyes open while talking unless you're in a very scary situation"

Angry the clone then prepares himself and said "You will pay for that, bring it on bitch!"

In turn my jet pack toward the levitating clone, we're ready to charge at each other head on...or so it seems

As we made a final charge, I undid the straps and fell from the jet pack onto a tree.

"NOOOOO!" the clone screams as he collides with a unmanned jet pack and there's a huge firework display, raining down were the clone's charred remains and what's left of that jet pack. As I got up, I made sure the device is okay (which it is) and I walk toward the wreckage. There I saluted the jet pack before walking away. I return the device to the scientist and you can't imagine how happy he was, in return he gave me a moonstone.

Okay, what am I supposed to do with this? Guess I'll just check and see how much money it'll fetch on eBay. But it's safe to say it couldn't get any weirder than this...right? Just hope I didn't jinx myself this time everytime I said that.