I was at the restaurant when I notice a a special on the menu...

"Tebow steak?"

Just when I believe that the "Tebow" craze couldn't get anymore ridiculous, I came across this!

A waitress came up to me and said, "Would you like to make an order?"

I said, "I'll have Tebow's arm and a leg after that game against New England."

"Excuse me?"

"I'll have a Tebow steak, well done with a roll and a side of steamed vegetables."

"Oh okay, we'll be there in a moment!"

While waiting, I notice the waitress taking to someone and turned to point at me. Although I had a feeling that things won't turn up well if I stay, but I made an order so I decided to wait until I finish the meal. So an hour of wait, my order finally arrived and the waitress said, "Sorry about the delay, our cook couldn't find the tenderizer, I hope you enjoy!"

That's when I felt an uneasiness coming from inside, I mean the hour long delay was suspicious especially with how the waitress claimed that the cook couldn't find the tenderizer. Then there's the tone...something about the tone was just...let's just say that it's the kind of tone that fits in well with ominous music. Too bad some things don't work the way they do in television shows.

I asked if I could bag up the food, I was told..."No!"

I looked at the steak and saw some green liquid...they're trying to poison me!

While they're not looking, I dump the steak into the garbage disposal and paid the tab. Afterward, I ran off thinking that I was safe until...

A man wearing a business was talking on his cell phone and when he was done, the dude looked at me and went to talk to the person next to him. I was ready to leave when I noticed another person just turned off the cell phone...then next thing I knew, I was surrounded!

"You blasphemer!"

"How dare you insult our savior?"

"Repent!"

Having no choice at that point, I was ready to fight off the zealots when I picked up a large tree branch to use as a weapon. Then someone yelled, "I'll deal with him!"

A tall figure with a long blonde hair wearing a gold armor emerged and his eyes were closed...to my horror I realized whom I was facing!

Frightened, I tried to find an opening for me to escape but...I was completely surrounded...

Soon the Tebow fanatics ran off as the blonde guy said, "You barely have any manners, causing such a ruckus after entering this town."

I was going to run but suddenly I started to sink...I looked down and found myself standing in a lake of blood!

"This is divine justice as you will be punished for insulting the people's deity!" he said.

Then the blood enveloped over me and then everything's back to normal...I was freaked out.

"This is only the beginning..."

His armor began to shine and that's when things grew worse.

"The Tenbu Hōrin, the divine gift I will bestow upon as it will put you through five stages...all your senses will be gone!"

OH DEAR GOD! HE OPENED HIS EYES!!!

My body went numb and I couldn't move no matter how hard I tried!

"You have lost your sense of touch...now..."

Then he fired a beam into my nose AND IT WAS HARD TO BREATHE! I HAD TO USE MY MOUTH!

Angry at this, with some difficulty I said, "Why are you helping those idiots? Tebow was terrible and the only reason the Broncos won with h-"

He cut me off and said, "I think I have finally decided which to take away next." as he fired a beam into my mouth and I gagged.

"Now I won't have to listen to your blasphemy."

The zealots returned and said, "Yeah way to go!"

"Make sure this infidel suffer!"

The man smiled and then...a sharp pain hits my eyes and I couldn't see! It's all dark!

Every time I tried to speak, I started to cough.

"You still have your hearing, but this will be the last thing you'll ever hear..."

Then it's all blank.

I had no idea how long it have been but it felt as if I was floating in space and then suddenly I was saw myself getting blown through space. After that, I couldn't think...my mind became blank!

It was all darkness and there was nothing I could do.

Then I woke up and I found myself tied up and hung upside down by the tree. I started to wonder what just happened when I heard a voice!

I could recognize the voice but no one's nearby, he's communicating telepathically.

He said, "At this point those people will believe that you're dead, they're all placed in an unconscious state by me for one day."

"What?" I said.

I was shocked.

"You must leave this place at once or they'll come after you!"

I asked him about something regarding why he came here but...it was over.

With that, I decided to swing back and forth hoping to loosen up the rope when the branch snapped.

"OW!"