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I want the funky chicken.

Age 36, Male

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some boring ass school

New York,NY

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Beating a dead horse!

Posted by Idiot-Finder - September 5th, 2011


Later that night as Andvaka and I were out checking out the places we didn't went to, there's a nightclub down several blocks from the inn. Knowing that I won't be able to get in since I didn't have an invitation or a reservation for that matter, I thought it would be a good idea to take a peek of what went on. However there's a long line and to my surprise something caught my eye, it's the guy who claimed that he needed sleep so he could work. First the suspicious looking woman from the night before and now this?

What kind of game is that guy playing? Turns out he's actually fooling around!

"Is there something wrong?" asked Andvaka.

"Yes there is, something about that guy seemed suspicious..." I said.

"What are you going to do?"

"Right now, I don't know."

Then remembering the bartender's advice about how I should get a girl, I figured that this could be the perfect opportunity to ask one out. I told Andvaka to stay for a bit and walk slowly toward one of the girls near the night club. She's a real beauty and with that I started to grow nervous until I took several deep breaths to calm myself down before proceeding.

"Hey, are these your friends?" I asked.

"Um...no?" she said.

"So you're available!"

"Sorry, I'm not interested!"

Then she walks away...

Being that it's my first try, I shrugged it off and went my way.

"It didn't work out did it?" Andvaka said.

"Yeah, I still have plenty of time so it's no big deal." I said.

After traveling to certain parts of the city...we got lost.

"Dennis, I can lead us back t-"

"No I'm good, just give me time and I'll find a way back to the inn."

"Whatever you say."

However after time passed, I have no idea where to go so I tried a shortcut hoping that I'll luck out from there. Surprisingly I ended up finding the farm which for some reason looked familiar, at that point I had no idea why.

"What is this place?" asked Andvaka.

"It's a farm, for an odd reason I have a feeling I been here before...I don't know why." I said.

I decided to take a look around the farm and since the farmer's obviously sleeping, I figured that it's safe to do so as long I sneak in quietly. I saw several cows sleeping and for laughs I tipped some of them, it's really funny. Then there's a large brown horse lying on the ground sideways, seemingly dead. I picked up a giant tree branch from the ground and start poking the horse several times with no response whatsoever. Andvaka starts shaking it's head and said, "What you're doing is mean, you will end up facing consequences for your behavior!"

"It's just a dead horse and I'm going to beat it a bit, what's the worse that can happen?" I said.

I kicked the horse and all of a sudden it got up and made a screeching noise.

"What the hell it's alive!" I yelled.

Then I heard someone rushing out of the house and a shotgun cocking...

"You city folk just wouldn't give up!" the farmer screamed.

"I warned you!" said Andvaka.

"No time to bring it up, let's get the hell out of here!" I yelled.

A piece of tree branch was blown off in front of me and could hear the farmer yelling from the further distance.

"Damn you city folk, you never give up!"

After running for about a mile non-stop, I collapsed to the ground due to sheer exhaustion with a coughing fit.

"You had it coming for this reckless behavior, you could have been killed!" said Andvaka.

At that point, I started to notice that Andvaka's voice sounded like a woman with a mysterious tone. I was too exhausted to turn to look at the sleep silhouette so I had no idea what was going on at that time. After spending several minutes catching my breath, I got up and realize that the farm is the same one I went to few months ago where I beat a farmer's beloved dead horse...yeah it was a fun time indeed, really pissed him off. Knowing this, I was able to remember the direction to the hotel I used to stay in, the inn isn't far from here!

"I remember now, see I told you I could find our way back to the inn!" I said.

Andvaka didn't say anything...

I sighed and said, "Let's go!"

Upon entering the inn, I noticed the three clowns from before were looking at me and I asked Andvaka, "What's with those guys? Are they waiting for me?"

"They have been stalking you for a while, you better keep your eye on them." it said.

"Okay thanks, so are you still angry about what happened?"

"Please don't do this again, I can't let you off if you do this again as long I'm here!"

"Alright!"

For some reason I was starting to get a bit freaked out...until I heard some familiar voices.

"It's a great night, same time tomorrow?" woman said.

"That's one hell of a party, ha, ha, ha, yeah same time tom-"

"Hey, what an awkward time to meet huh?" I said.

Then the guy who stays in the room next to mine said, "Listen, I have a day off okay, it's no-"

"Is that your wife?" I said, pointing to the woman he's with.

"No, why?"

"I probably would have believed the bull crap but the ring you're wearing gave it away!"

The woman looked at him and said, "You're married? I'm out!"

The man turned to me and said, "Listen, it's not what it looks like...don't tell anyone okay? Please..."

I shrugged and said, "You had it coming anyway,"

I don't know his wife so there's no way I could have contacted her but I decided to mess with him a bit so that way he'll rush to his family and fess up. But however he charged toward me and I quickly got out of the way, only to trip on one of those lounge chairs at the lobby. The receptionist at the lobby was watching us and said, "Hey no fighting!"

The crazy dude turned to her and said, "Shut up bitch or I'll fuck you up!"

He really snapped big time.

I got up and said, "Dude, calm down, you're making it wo-"

"Shut the fuck up! You're not going to tell anyone because I will fucking kill you like what I did to my wife!"

Then there's minutes of awkward silence...

The receptionist started to pick up the phone and the psycho started to walk towards her.

"Dennis, why aren't you doing anything about this?" asked Andvaka.

I said, "I would have fought back but I don't think you'd be happy si-"

"I'll let this one slide, stop this guy!"

"Okay, whatever you say..."

Then I mumbled, "Bitch," under my breath.

I drop kicked the guy and body slammed him.

"Get up, I'm just warming up!" I said and cracked my fists.

But then he got up and said, "Fuck this, I'm out of here!"

Then he ran off.

"Did you call the police?" I asked the receptionist.

"Yes and they'll be on their way!" she said.

"Thanks, hopefully the psycho will get caught...so anyway, are you married?"

"Um...no, why?"

"How about you and me tomorrow night, we could go out an-"

"Sorry, not interested and please leave me alone, I have a job to do!"

I walked back to the room with a stinging pain of failure on the left side of my face...


Comments

Cool story bro :) I actually mean that too.

Btw, nice level icon.