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I want the funky chicken.

Age 36, Male

Student

some boring ass school

New York,NY

Joined on 8/29/02

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Intermission #1: Prison Cell Panic! (Tragic story of Sirtom93)

Posted by Idiot-Finder - March 20th, 2009


As he enters the prison cell, in the dark corner someone lurks. As soon as the guards lock the cell, he remembers how it all started. A day before he was sitting in front of his computer making a threat that he'll torch the school he goes to, reason was never stated. What he didn't count on is that his threat was taken seriously and as a result, he was nabbed before he can go through with is plan. Now that poor fool finds himself in a prison cell and is wondering what will happen when...

"I never seen you around, new?"

Shakened, Tom turns around and said "Who's there?"

A huge imposing figure emerge from the dark and he puts his hands on Tom's head

"Get the fuck away from me!" Tom yells as he backs away

"C'mon, you'll like it bitch!" as the huge black man walks towards Tom

"Please don't...stay away..." the nitwit stammers before blacking out

After several hours, Tom wakes up and finds himself back in his room. Happy to be back home he screams "It's all a dream!" and runs across the hall yelling "It's all a dream!!!"

"Thomas calm down, what dream?" his mother ask after calming him down

After explaining what happen and how he got caught, his mother then smiles a satanic smile "Oh, so that's what happen"

Frightened, Tom said "Mom, are you okay?"

"No, the truth is what happened isn't a dream"

"W-what do you mean?"

"You are not home, in fact this is a dream"

Moments later Tom wakes up and notice that he's back in his cell, he is on his hand with his cell mate asleep next to him. Fearing the worse, he tries to get up but then he notice something is stuck in his ass, more he tried his cell mate begins to wake. Knowing this he stops and begins to weep silently in the dark cell in the middle of the night.

Hearing this, the black guy wakes up and said "All you alright?"

"I want my mommy, newgrounds, and..." before breaking down as he proceeds to vomit all the cum from his mouth

"Calm down kid, I wish I could quit you"

After vomiting all the cum, Tom stammers "So do I"

A prison guard walks by and said "Bloody gay and I oughta retire" before finishing off his bottle of brandy.

Then the next morning, the twosome are wide awake in which the black guy is mounting him from behind.

"Please stop, I'm begging you!" Tom cries

"Not until you return my affection" his inmate said

"Why Rig? Why can't you bail me out?" Tom screams remembering just before he was sent to the prison cell, he made a call to Rig days before

"Rig? About what happened...I wasn't really going to do i-"

"Not going to do it? If that's the case then don't create a thread bragging about burning down the fucking school you dumb fuck!" Rig yelled before he hung up

After remembering the call, Tom begins to cry as the inmate comforts him and gives him a kiss on the forehead

Amid the sobs, Tom then said "T-thank you, I love you..."

Unfortunately one day a tragedy strikes which would leave Tom heartbroken for the rest of his life.


2

Comments

you forgot about the part where 3 inmates rape him

Sirtom93's asshole before prison - .

Sirtom93's asshole after prison - O

You forgot to mention the giant black man is GenderlessHooker and he has to relive all of his previous spam flashes, including the one with the naked hobo that never made it through judgement.

could have been more intimate with the sex.... :( and it was too short.

What, I'm not debating the ethics of the jail term? Ah well, I've been on TV, the paper and got a vague refference in the article, so fuck you! :P

This one is very impressive.

He just had to be black didn't he.

It's always the case :B

Haha that's freaking genius

Afterwards, Sirtom93 gets another phone call. When he grabs the phone puts it onto his ear, he hears a loud scream. "FOUND ONE!"

Yeah! :D

much better. lawls

I made an oopsie in my pants.

Are you fucking serious! Well he probably deserved it.

nice :)

Haha.

Fucking sick, not well written, But funny, I like it.

Continue sirtoms adventures in his cell.

make it a series until we hear from the guy,

I couldn't stop laughing.

this reminds me of this so much!

<a href="http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/77937">http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view /77937</a>

HEY SIRTOM, DON'T DROP THE SOAP!!

Whoop, too late........he done been gayified!! IT'S A QUEER, RUN! (jk)

Hey, supyohos123, hilarious comment. That is just perfect!! ^_^

This is the best account i've ever read.
Wonderful...

it wasnt a black guy, it was a latino one

Michaelas10 and KrevZabijak come into Sirtom93 prison cells and force him to drink down their cum and pussy juices.

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