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Intermission #17: Remember The Time?

Posted by Idiot-Finder - February 28th, 2011


One day at Westboro, a disbarred jerkass lawyer turned even bigger jerkass preacher named Fred Phelps was bored so he asked his servants to fetch him someone entertaining.

"Servants! Fetch me someone who can entertain me!" he said

They did as told by hiring David Blaine. After series of stunning performances by the famed illusionist, Phelps who believes magics are a form of witchcraft then takes out a gun and shoots Blaine in the face.

One of the servants looked on and said, "That's cold..."

They then dragged Blaine's body away where it would be fed to dogs.

"Next, the winner of the 2003 American Idols...Claaaaaaaay Aiken!"

Clay Aiken shows up with a microphone and was ready to sing when a gunshot rang out. Aiken then noticed a sharp pain oh his forehand and so he went to touch it. That's when he realized that he's bleeding and saw Phelps pointing a gun at him. Few minutes later his body was fed to the dogs by the servants.

But then a stranger shows up wearing robes all over his body.

"You better entertain me, I don't got all day!" said Fred Phelps

The stranger took out a bag and pour black dusts onto the ground. Soon he proceeds to step onto the dust and disappears, leaving nothing but a pile of clothes.

"What the hell is that?" said one of the servants

Fred Phelps was frozen in fear and pissed himself in the process. Later that night, he was ready to go to bed when something happened...

"Do you wanna be entertained?"

Phelps turned and saw a skinny effeminate while man with a distorted nose.

"Who are you?" said Phelps

Soon the gay man begins to dance and said...

Do you remember
When we fell in love
We were young and innocent then
Do you remember how it all began
It just
Seemed like heaven
So why
Did it end

"No I do not you disgusting fag!" yelled Phelps

Do you remember
Back in the fall
We'd be together all day long
Do you remember
Us holding hands
In each other's eyes we'd stare
Tell me

"I don't even know you, get away from me or I'll scream!"

Do you remember the time
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time
When we first met Fred
Do you remember the time
(Oh I)
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time

"Security!"

The security guards shows but by the time they got there, the gay man disappeared!

Fred Phelps cowers like a worm he is and said, "Find that faggot...and kill him!"

As the guards race to find the weirdo, they notice someone right behind him...

"Who the hell is that?" said one of the guards

"Wait a minute...isn't he dead?" said the other

The weirdo then moonwalks and said...

Do you remember
How we used to talk
You know we'd stay on the phone at night till dawn
Do you remember
All the things we said
Like I
Love you so
I'll never
Let you go

Do you remember
Back in the spring
Every morning bird would sing
Do you remember
Those special times
That just go on and on
In the back of my mind

Do you remember the time
(Oh I)
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time
When we first met Fred
Do you remember the time
(Oh I)
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time

The guards started to dance when they came back to their senses and pump the weirdo full of lead. But when they did so, the weirdo got up and absorb the bullets before puking them out...

"What the hell?" said one of the guards

The weirdo then wags his finger at them and said, "That's not nice,"

Then he continues to dance...

Those sweet memories
Will always be
Dear to me
And boys
No matter what we said
I will never forget what we did
Now baby

Then he disappears into thin air...

Phelps was wondering what just happened when the stranger shows up ring in front of him, nearly giving him a heart attack.

"You again?!" screamed Phelps

Then the weirdo puts his finger on Phelp's mouth and said, "Do you remember the time?" before kissing him on the fore head

Soon Phelp's memory starts to flash before his eyes...

Do you remember the time
(Do you remember)
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time
When I first met you
Do you remember the time
(Oh I)
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time
(Deliver my baby)
Do you remember the time
(Cuz I remember)
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time
All in my mind yo
Do you remember the time
(Oh I)
When we fell in love
Do you remember the the time
(Deliver my baby)

"Y-yes..." moaned Phelps

The guard hears a noise occurring at the bedroom...

(Remember the times)
Whoo!
(Remember the times)
Do you remember man
(Remember the times)
On the phone
You and me
(Remember the times)
Till dawn
Two or three
What about you man
(Remember the times)
Do you
Do you
(Remember the times)
Do you
Do you
Do you
(Remember the times)
In the park
On the beach
(Remember the times)
You and me
In flame
What about
What about
(Remember the times)
(rolls tongue)

A loud moaning have been heard and the guards snickers knowing what went on.

"And he said he hates gays!"

"What a fucking hypocrite!"

(Remember the times)
Oh...in the park
(Remember the times)
After dark
Do you
Do you
Do you
(Remember the times)
Do you
Do you
Do you
Do you
(Remember the times)
Yeah
Yeah
Whoo!
(Remember the times..remember the times)

Once it's over, the stranger comes out of the room and teleports. Fred was later found in his bed acting strangely while the stranger was never caught...


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