After spending over a month recovering from MDD, I got up and was ready to stock up on supplies before heading to some next random city when some dude threw rice at me. Soon a cloud of pigeons came after me and I got out of the way in time.

"Hey get out of the way, I'm feeding pigeons!" said someone

I saw a Chargers cap on his head...

"Oh sorry, my bad...it won't happen again," I said

"What's with that shifty look? Are you scheming something?"

"No of course not, why would I do that?"

"For a past few years some Giant fan have been killing off my people, I was wondering if..."

"No that wasn't me, yeah definitely not me, just a tourist passing by..."

"Okay then, just watch out, that maniac could be in this city for all I know,"

"Thanks..."

Then I whisper to myself, "Not!"

Later that night, I went back to the park with a bag of croutons to see if they would eat those. After confirming it, I quickly ran to a local black market store where I ask the dealer about "Something that can make pigeons explode!"

The dealer gave me a bottle of pills (labels are missing) and said "That will be eight hundred!"

Several hours later I test the pills by feeding some of it to the pigeons.

"Coo?" said the pigeon before it explodes

"Perfect!" I said

Next morning while the fan of a certain west coast sports team I hated went to feed some pigeons, I mixed some pills with crumbled up croutons and threw it at the same spot where the bread crumbs are thrown. Then I took several steps back, put on my sunglasses, and wait for the fun to disgustingly begin. After few minutes of delay, some of the pigeons starts to pop one by one like the scene from "How High" and soon it gets pretty messy. Because the dude was way too close, some of the pieces of the pigeons were splattered all over his body.

It is one of the most funniest things I have ever seen in my life, some of the pieces even flew into his mouth while he was screaming like a little girl.

Then he ran away screaming "I CAN'T SEE! I CAN'T SEE!"

After it was over, I turn and saw couple of hippies giving me the "look".

"What?" I said

They left without answering...

"What's eating their grapes?"

Later that day I found a note by the door of at the motel room I'm staying...

Dear Murderer,

Fatwa have been issued against you for your crimes against non-humanity. Many wonderful birds have been destroyed and for that you must die!

No hard feelings...not really but sorry for bothering you :D

Love PETA

"Um...what?"