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I want the funky chicken.

Age 36, Male

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some boring ass school

New York,NY

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Lamp Monster

Posted by Idiot-Finder - July 29th, 2009


To those wondering, shortly before my trip to Canada I left those rabbits to lawlmaster. With that I won't have to worry about them getting starved while I was away to beat up Dizmiz. I'm back after few days but the vacation is also bittersweet for reason I will explain.

Yesterday morning at the Holiday Inn, while I was preparing to leave for the tour bus on my way back to New York, a television turns on by itself. A person's face appears on the screen and I recognize who it was, it's Nicholas De Genova, the anti-American college professor...he just wouldn't give up!

"We meet again" he said

"What do you want, seriously you have been trying to kill me for the past several times and last time didn't work out too well" I said

"What made you think I would give up, I have been preparing this for over a month"

Then the lamp starts to come to life

"What the?"

Soon it sprouts mechanical legs with a cord acting as it's tail despite being unplugged

"Magnificent isn't it?"

"What did you do?"

"I'm friends with one of the employees, with that I was able to make few modifications with several lamps in this hotel knowing you have stayed there past couple of times"

Then afterwards the mechanical arms sprouted as well

"It's over" the professor sneered

The cord wrapped around me and starts to squeeze when I spun around to unwrap myself, also swung the lamp monster to the wall in the process. Despite the damage, the lamp monster got up with moderate damage. I grabbed a pillow and threw it at the lamp monster but it dodged it by latching on to the ceiling. Soon it tries to jump right at me but I dodged it and grabbed it's "tail" befor proceeding to swing it and slam it in the room. I did so several times until it's finally destroyed although it also resulted in damages to the furnitures and the walls.

"You may have won again, but mark my words...I will get my revenge!" De Genova snarled brfore the screen shuts

There's a knocking on the door

"I heard noise, is everything alright?"

"Um...yea, everything's alright, the T.V.'s on too loud"

"Alright"

Some time later I left the room and got to the bus, I could only imagine what their reaction will be once they find what happened to the room...

I did learn what happened this morning, I received a phone call from Holiday Day Inn manager...he said in exchange for not pressing charges for the damage he believed I've done like what the U.S. hockey team did in the 1998 Winter Olympics at Nagano, I'm banned from the hotel. Knowing there's no way I'll be able to convince them about the lamp monster I fought which wrecked the hotel room, I agree to the ban like what Pete Rose did (because he figured that he'll be able to appeal after one year, we know how that worked out, I think it's time to lift the ban now because it friggin' stupid but that's another story). What a mess...

Well...there's another phone call, I'll go and get it...


Comments

a ban it's better than a lot of money.

A lamp monster?! This sounds like the book pitch skit on Family Guy. Man, i wish I knew where I could find it on youtube and hulu. I looked both spots, NOTHIN'!

Your life is so awesome. I wish I was like you.